Jonny Klemchuk
@jonnyklemchuk.bsky.social
Skier. Extreme Dancer. Kung-Fu practitioner. Hot tub enthusiast. Avid spread eagler. Expert pillow fort maker. one man party. minister of stoke @hi5sfoundation
The problem with having your rights abused is that someone needs to be there to witness it and raise a stink. Because if not, they won’t tell on themselves.
January 27, 2026 at 3:30 PM
The problem with having your rights abused is that someone needs to be there to witness it and raise a stink. Because if not, they won’t tell on themselves.
Liberals get: guns, beer, football.
Republicans get: electric cars, unprocessed food, Nicki Minaj
Republicans get: electric cars, unprocessed food, Nicki Minaj
a man in a white suit says i 'd make that deal
ALT: a man in a white suit says i 'd make that deal
media.tenor.com
January 26, 2026 at 11:09 PM
Liberals get: guns, beer, football.
Republicans get: electric cars, unprocessed food, Nicki Minaj
Republicans get: electric cars, unprocessed food, Nicki Minaj
Oh look guys! ICE used jumper cables to help a guy with car trouble. I’m just shocked they didn’t hook him up to the battery after.
January 26, 2026 at 8:12 PM
Oh look guys! ICE used jumper cables to help a guy with car trouble. I’m just shocked they didn’t hook him up to the battery after.
Fondue is just hot pot for white people.
January 24, 2026 at 3:27 PM
Fondue is just hot pot for white people.
Donny would have given the ring to Sauron.
January 23, 2026 at 1:25 AM
Donny would have given the ring to Sauron.
Kids these days never read Hatchet and it shows by all the posts about “exploding trees”.
January 22, 2026 at 2:37 AM
Kids these days never read Hatchet and it shows by all the posts about “exploding trees”.
Whole Foods with HOTTOGO in my headphones is a vibe
January 21, 2026 at 4:41 PM
Whole Foods with HOTTOGO in my headphones is a vibe
I’ve already walked 130 miles this year.
January 19, 2026 at 2:59 AM
I’ve already walked 130 miles this year.
It feels like it’s already been five years of 2026.
January 16, 2026 at 2:55 PM
It feels like it’s already been five years of 2026.
Might post, “you all went from ‘I need guns to protect me from a tyrannical government’ to bending over and taking it in the rear from a tyrannical government” on Twitter.
January 14, 2026 at 2:43 PM
Might post, “you all went from ‘I need guns to protect me from a tyrannical government’ to bending over and taking it in the rear from a tyrannical government” on Twitter.
When you tell a CEO’s PSD that they need to lighten up and not look so f*cking obvious.
a man is standing in the dark with the words `` he 's a cop '' written on his face .
ALT: a man is standing in the dark with the words `` he 's a cop '' written on his face .
media.tenor.com
January 12, 2026 at 3:14 PM
When you tell a CEO’s PSD that they need to lighten up and not look so f*cking obvious.
I want to meet someone named Kermit just so I can say, “like the frog?”
January 11, 2026 at 6:21 PM
I want to meet someone named Kermit just so I can say, “like the frog?”
Aldrich Ames died. Like I needed an excuse to drink tonight.
January 6, 2026 at 11:45 PM
Aldrich Ames died. Like I needed an excuse to drink tonight.
That “thank goodness 2025 is over” feeling lasted forty eight hours.
January 5, 2026 at 1:19 PM
That “thank goodness 2025 is over” feeling lasted forty eight hours.
There’s some “attorneys” that would get their clients sent to death row for a parking ticket.
January 1, 2026 at 9:23 PM
There’s some “attorneys” that would get their clients sent to death row for a parking ticket.
TIL that “that’s what she said” doesn’t translate well to people from Kenya.
January 1, 2026 at 2:52 PM
TIL that “that’s what she said” doesn’t translate well to people from Kenya.
Does he still get the FIFA peace prize if we go to war?
December 18, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Does he still get the FIFA peace prize if we go to war?
Idk @nytimes.com, is it a good idea to have inexperienced and unqualified diplomats?
December 15, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Idk @nytimes.com, is it a good idea to have inexperienced and unqualified diplomats?
Does anyone know where Tim Kennedy is?
December 13, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Does anyone know where Tim Kennedy is?
Remember folks, any car can become an all terrain vehicle as long as it’s not yours.
December 11, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Remember folks, any car can become an all terrain vehicle as long as it’s not yours.
@alexzfinley.bsky.social I’m sure this is fine.
December 11, 2025 at 12:48 AM
@alexzfinley.bsky.social I’m sure this is fine.
In the first round, Pompeo was using State Department employees as “Uber Eats with guns” and now we have Patel using FBI agents as Uber drivers. Everything is flat.
FBI agents now serving as Uber drivers for Kash Patel’s girlfriend’s drunk friends www.ms.now/news/kash-pa...
December 5, 2025 at 10:57 PM
In the first round, Pompeo was using State Department employees as “Uber Eats with guns” and now we have Patel using FBI agents as Uber drivers. Everything is flat.
Waiting for the administration to tell me it’s cool to make toast in my bathtub.
December 3, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Waiting for the administration to tell me it’s cool to make toast in my bathtub.
I did not have Rep Tim Burchett from Tennessee growing a backbone and speaking out on my bingo card.
December 2, 2025 at 12:36 PM
I did not have Rep Tim Burchett from Tennessee growing a backbone and speaking out on my bingo card.