Jesse Hagen
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jhagen34.bsky.social
Jesse Hagen
@jhagen34.bsky.social
Once thought a brisket would only take 3 hours in the crockpot and had to eat it at midnight.

www.jessehagen.com
Anthony Kiedis cries two tears
Timberwolves: 2
State of California: 0
May 16, 2025 at 12:35 AM
Timberwolves: 2
State of California: 0
May 15, 2025 at 4:45 AM
Reposted by Jesse Hagen
Come back soon, Jimmy!
May 15, 2025 at 4:23 AM
Sorry, but my job precludes me from writing about how the Minnesota Timberwolves are the greatest basketball team of all time.

That's why I will def not be making mention that the Minnesota Timberwolves are super duper back.

I would not endeavor to end any social post with the words Naz Reid.
May 15, 2025 at 4:27 AM
Reposted by Jesse Hagen
The Timberwolves are the Knicks if they didn’t fuck around in Game 5s.
May 15, 2025 at 4:16 AM
Yeah, yeah, Luka had a stomach bug in G3. Now imagine how sick he must be that Rudy Gobert punched his plane ticket to Cancun.
May 1, 2025 at 4:54 AM
The most respectful strangers are now to one another is sharing a midnight Uber.

3 of us, completely respecting Headphones Law™. Worth it.
March 7, 2025 at 4:51 AM
Reunited*!!!

*featuring new knick-knacks
February 20, 2025 at 11:48 PM
The boy has been on vacation with my folks this week. He returns this eve.

While I've loved the extra calm to read and sleep, I'm giddy as hell we get to play Zelda together again in a few hours.
February 20, 2025 at 12:45 PM
Well that settles it. The Minnesota Timberwolves are winning the NBA Finals.
February 14, 2025 at 3:56 AM
Died today. Writing this from the grave.

Coworker asked what this UX/UI in the Stay Tippin music video was referencing (she was also unfamiliar with the song).
February 11, 2025 at 2:16 AM
I feel really bad for Drake's lawyers. Now he's got them working on Super Bowl Sunday.
February 10, 2025 at 1:53 AM
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Drake about to be doing the most performative "unbothered" Instagram stories of his life.
February 10, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Bahahahahaha Drake sweating when Kendrick gonna play "Not Like Us," and he hits em with "Euphoria."
February 10, 2025 at 1:32 AM
Eugene Levy's eyebrows and Nick Offerman's moustache splitting the vote for VFX (Facial Hair Division) Cannes Lion.
February 10, 2025 at 1:03 AM
Officially pro Kiss From a Rose Baja Blast commercial
February 10, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Super Bowl Costco tip: go like, an hour before kickoff. Never been more empty!
February 9, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Can't get over how good this post from the American Heart Association is. Props to their marketing team.

So nice that Drake's death is actually saving lives.
February 5, 2025 at 7:27 PM
In retrospect, this was a warning #SkyHoops
February 2, 2025 at 3:55 PM
One flew East (Brunson)
One flew West (Luka)
One flew over the cuckoo's nest (Mavs fans)

(This post is for anyone else at the intersection of #SkyHoops and #BookSky)
February 2, 2025 at 1:58 PM
Timberwolves fans reappraising the Gobert trade after last night's events: #SkyHoops
a group of men watching a chicago bulls vs. miami heat game
ALT: a group of men watching a chicago bulls vs. miami heat game
media.tenor.com
February 2, 2025 at 1:28 PM
The #SkyHoops after hours degenerates to the early birds when they wake up tomorrow
a man and a monkey look at each other in a dark room
ALT: a man and a monkey look at each other in a dark room
media.tenor.com
February 2, 2025 at 6:06 AM
In an Mmmbop you're gone
February 2, 2025 at 5:52 AM
Nah for real, did they think if they did it after midnight we wouldn't notice two of the most famous basketball players in the world in different unis on Tuesday?
What is happening #SkyHoops
February 2, 2025 at 5:41 AM
Sorry for the Minnesota Sushi curse @dodgerindallas.bsky.social I knew I was playing with arcane magic.
February 2, 2025 at 5:28 AM