Jez Watts Comedy
@jezwattscomedy.bsky.social
increasingly impoverished comedian
Pinned
Head to www.YouTube.com/@jezwattscomedy right now. Special drops Dec 22.
If you ever feel insecure about your relationship just know that last night I witnessed a woman at a wedding
1.) Catch the bouquet
2.) Boyfriend whisper something to her
3.) She give the bouquet away to someone else
So it could be worse!
1.) Catch the bouquet
2.) Boyfriend whisper something to her
3.) She give the bouquet away to someone else
So it could be worse!
December 14, 2025 at 6:27 AM
If you ever feel insecure about your relationship just know that last night I witnessed a woman at a wedding
1.) Catch the bouquet
2.) Boyfriend whisper something to her
3.) She give the bouquet away to someone else
So it could be worse!
1.) Catch the bouquet
2.) Boyfriend whisper something to her
3.) She give the bouquet away to someone else
So it could be worse!
Head to www.YouTube.com/@jezwattscomedy right now. Special drops Dec 22.
November 28, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Head to www.YouTube.com/@jezwattscomedy right now. Special drops Dec 22.
Reposted by Jez Watts Comedy
I'm not going to repost screenshots from Grok for the same reasons I don't use any LLMs even when they're outputting silly/ amusing synthetic text.
(This image is great for so many purposes. I first saw it posted by @redeyedjedi.bsky.social so I am hoping that's the right credit for its source!)
(This image is great for so many purposes. I first saw it posted by @redeyedjedi.bsky.social so I am hoping that's the right credit for its source!)
November 20, 2025 at 10:19 PM
I'm not going to repost screenshots from Grok for the same reasons I don't use any LLMs even when they're outputting silly/ amusing synthetic text.
(This image is great for so many purposes. I first saw it posted by @redeyedjedi.bsky.social so I am hoping that's the right credit for its source!)
(This image is great for so many purposes. I first saw it posted by @redeyedjedi.bsky.social so I am hoping that's the right credit for its source!)
Reposted by Jez Watts Comedy
Climate breakdown is driven by a storm of lies. This lying is systemic, funded and coordinated, and operates across almost all media, old and new.
This week's column argues that we cannot fight the climate crisis without also fighting the epistemic crisis.
www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...
This week's column argues that we cannot fight the climate crisis without also fighting the epistemic crisis.
www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...
Dark forces are preventing us fighting the climate crisis – by taking knowledge hostage | George Monbiot
The fundamental problem is this: that most of the means of communication are owned or influenced by the very rich, says Guardian columnist George Monbiot
www.theguardian.com
November 14, 2025 at 6:47 AM
Climate breakdown is driven by a storm of lies. This lying is systemic, funded and coordinated, and operates across almost all media, old and new.
This week's column argues that we cannot fight the climate crisis without also fighting the epistemic crisis.
www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...
This week's column argues that we cannot fight the climate crisis without also fighting the epistemic crisis.
www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...
“And now as a surprise we have a standup comedian”
November 13, 2025 at 11:18 PM
“And now as a surprise we have a standup comedian”
Loose butthole. Never used. For sale.
Eat your ass out Hemingway.
Eat your ass out Hemingway.
November 13, 2025 at 11:18 PM
Loose butthole. Never used. For sale.
Eat your ass out Hemingway.
Eat your ass out Hemingway.
Saw myself naked and I have an hourglass figure (time’s running out)
November 13, 2025 at 11:17 PM
Saw myself naked and I have an hourglass figure (time’s running out)
Reposted by Jez Watts Comedy
I'm not surprised by the lengths they are willing to go to stop us from seeing the Epstein Files. Just look at how far they were willing to go to stop us from ever hearing from Jeffrey Epstein again.
September 28, 2025 at 11:18 PM
I'm not surprised by the lengths they are willing to go to stop us from seeing the Epstein Files. Just look at how far they were willing to go to stop us from ever hearing from Jeffrey Epstein again.
Okay sometimes guns ARE cool you've convinced me
September 12, 2025 at 11:05 AM
Okay sometimes guns ARE cool you've convinced me
As a soldier they made me carry the radio coz that guy's first to be shot
September 10, 2025 at 1:31 PM
As a soldier they made me carry the radio coz that guy's first to be shot
Fiancee worried about money I said ‘maybe you’d be okay if you didn’t have a horse’ she said ‘maybe I’d be okay if I didn’t have a comedian’
September 10, 2025 at 1:31 PM
Fiancee worried about money I said ‘maybe you’d be okay if you didn’t have a horse’ she said ‘maybe I’d be okay if I didn’t have a comedian’
From The Tiny Vet Podcast S3E77: Vaccine Reactions
September 10, 2025 at 1:30 PM
From The Tiny Vet Podcast S3E77: Vaccine Reactions
Reposted by Jez Watts Comedy
Comics take the Saudi coin
Comics take the Saudi coin
Whitehall, Carr, Djalili and Jimeoin head to Riyadh Comedy Festival
dlvr.it
September 4, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Comics take the Saudi coin
The more AI convinces it’s userbase to kill themselves the less of a problem I have with it
September 5, 2025 at 2:57 AM
The more AI convinces it’s userbase to kill themselves the less of a problem I have with it
Guy came into my partner’s vet clinic with a cockroach said “my pet cockroach is sick” if you have a pet cockroach you’re sick
September 5, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Guy came into my partner’s vet clinic with a cockroach said “my pet cockroach is sick” if you have a pet cockroach you’re sick
Reposted by Jez Watts Comedy
need people to stop making technology inspired by Star Trek (smooth, sleek, no buttons, all screen, voice activation, extremely minimal, wireless) and start making technology inspired by Star Wars (clunky buttons, indicator lights on everything, ugly, indestructible, fat cables that emit steam)
August 28, 2025 at 4:24 AM
need people to stop making technology inspired by Star Trek (smooth, sleek, no buttons, all screen, voice activation, extremely minimal, wireless) and start making technology inspired by Star Wars (clunky buttons, indicator lights on everything, ugly, indestructible, fat cables that emit steam)
Tiny Vet Podcast E76 out today. Give a listen wherever you get your pods.
August 25, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Tiny Vet Podcast E76 out today. Give a listen wherever you get your pods.
Reposted by Jez Watts Comedy
Reposted by Jez Watts Comedy
decades of ableist cyberpunk warning us that prosthetics that assist mobility and perception would drive people to cyberpsychosis but instead it's just people with smartphones going insane because they were affirmed by robot texts a little too much into fully detaching from reality
August 12, 2025 at 12:38 AM
decades of ableist cyberpunk warning us that prosthetics that assist mobility and perception would drive people to cyberpsychosis but instead it's just people with smartphones going insane because they were affirmed by robot texts a little too much into fully detaching from reality
Reposted by Jez Watts Comedy
“I don’t use AI for work but I do find it useful for telling me when to breathe in and when to breathe out,” is what a lot of people sound like.
August 3, 2025 at 1:03 PM
“I don’t use AI for work but I do find it useful for telling me when to breathe in and when to breathe out,” is what a lot of people sound like.
None of these elderly Chinese relatives know where to slot me in the social hierarchy so they end up just avoiding eye contact, which as an autistic is perfect
July 27, 2025 at 2:52 AM
None of these elderly Chinese relatives know where to slot me in the social hierarchy so they end up just avoiding eye contact, which as an autistic is perfect
They say rent should be 30% of your take-home income and at 120% I'm getting close!
July 27, 2025 at 2:52 AM
They say rent should be 30% of your take-home income and at 120% I'm getting close!
Walking hand in hand with a Chinese woman in Singapore is great coz the streets are clean but the looks I’m getting are very dirty
July 27, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Walking hand in hand with a Chinese woman in Singapore is great coz the streets are clean but the looks I’m getting are very dirty