Tommy J, Dadbod Supermodel
@jerseyfreshest.bsky.social
NJ fresh, retired from marriage, Gen X AF, compliment fisherman, comedy writer / comedian, #Cuse, #Jets, #NYY, 2X stroke survivor, LOL MVP, ⚽️ Dad, lemonade maker, lefty, guy with the awesome Bumble profile your girlfriends send to the text group
Remember Everyone:
Halloween Candy is 75% off at Target tomorrow!!!
Halloween Candy is 75% off at Target tomorrow!!!
April 20, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Remember Everyone:
Halloween Candy is 75% off at Target tomorrow!!!
Halloween Candy is 75% off at Target tomorrow!!!
The worst part about X (Twitter) totally freezing on this first day of NFL free agency is that my screen is locked on a photo of Nancy Mace in a hot tub
March 10, 2025 at 4:40 PM
The worst part about X (Twitter) totally freezing on this first day of NFL free agency is that my screen is locked on a photo of Nancy Mace in a hot tub
The NFL’s “legal tampering” period opens today and coincidentally someone has tampered with X / Twitter as the app has completely shut down. How sad for Elon
March 10, 2025 at 4:34 PM
The NFL’s “legal tampering” period opens today and coincidentally someone has tampered with X / Twitter as the app has completely shut down. How sad for Elon
Reposted by Tommy J, Dadbod Supermodel
The lack of Twitter on Day 1 of free agency is going to leave the NFL commentary world looking like the teachers at Springfield Elementary when Lisa Simpson stole all the teachers' editions of textbooks.
March 10, 2025 at 3:31 PM
The lack of Twitter on Day 1 of free agency is going to leave the NFL commentary world looking like the teachers at Springfield Elementary when Lisa Simpson stole all the teachers' editions of textbooks.
I just learned there are over 175 Domino’s pizza places in New Jersey and this may be the most upsetting thing I’ve read in over 20 years
February 21, 2025 at 3:15 AM
I just learned there are over 175 Domino’s pizza places in New Jersey and this may be the most upsetting thing I’ve read in over 20 years
From now on, whenever I can’t remember someone’s name, I’m gonna mumble “Cannot find the candle of thought to light your name” while doing my best Eddie Vedder impression
February 12, 2025 at 6:05 PM
From now on, whenever I can’t remember someone’s name, I’m gonna mumble “Cannot find the candle of thought to light your name” while doing my best Eddie Vedder impression
It feels like America is in the 3rd period of a very chippy hockey game and the benches are about to clear for an epic brawl
January 26, 2025 at 1:17 PM
It feels like America is in the 3rd period of a very chippy hockey game and the benches are about to clear for an epic brawl
Trump has announced that Jon Voight, Mel Gibson and Sylvester Stallone will be “Ambassadors to Hollywood.” Wow… First his house burns down and now this… It’s been a rough week for James Woods
January 16, 2025 at 8:40 PM
Trump has announced that Jon Voight, Mel Gibson and Sylvester Stallone will be “Ambassadors to Hollywood.” Wow… First his house burns down and now this… It’s been a rough week for James Woods
Trump has announced that Jon Voight, Mel Gibson and Sylvester Stallone will be “Ambassadors to Hollywood.” Hasn’t Los Angeles suffered enough this week?
January 16, 2025 at 8:40 PM
Trump has announced that Jon Voight, Mel Gibson and Sylvester Stallone will be “Ambassadors to Hollywood.” Hasn’t Los Angeles suffered enough this week?
If your Christmas tree isn’t up by 5pm today, do you really even love Jesus?
December 15, 2024 at 4:55 PM
If your Christmas tree isn’t up by 5pm today, do you really even love Jesus?
“Last Christmas” is the all-time greatest song about regifting
December 15, 2024 at 4:54 PM
“Last Christmas” is the all-time greatest song about regifting
There isn’t a song called “I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus” because it would be too difficult for kids to learn that daddy’s cheating on mommy AND he’s gay at the same time
December 14, 2024 at 4:48 PM
There isn’t a song called “I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus” because it would be too difficult for kids to learn that daddy’s cheating on mommy AND he’s gay at the same time
This reindeer definitely voted for Trump
December 12, 2024 at 6:10 AM
This reindeer definitely voted for Trump
Sadly, it’s impossible to play “Punch Buggy” in 2024 as Volkswagen discontinued the Beetle in 2019 & there aren’t many on the roads anymore
I’m here to tell you there’s a new way to play:
Every time you see an Amazon truck or van, shout “#PunchBuggy Amazon” and start punching
I’m here to tell you there’s a new way to play:
Every time you see an Amazon truck or van, shout “#PunchBuggy Amazon” and start punching
December 2, 2024 at 9:09 PM
Sadly, it’s impossible to play “Punch Buggy” in 2024 as Volkswagen discontinued the Beetle in 2019 & there aren’t many on the roads anymore
I’m here to tell you there’s a new way to play:
Every time you see an Amazon truck or van, shout “#PunchBuggy Amazon” and start punching
I’m here to tell you there’s a new way to play:
Every time you see an Amazon truck or van, shout “#PunchBuggy Amazon” and start punching
#Serendipity is a 91-min rom-com that kinda/sorta takes place at Christmastime & stars Kate Beckinsale as a woman who something, something. If, like me, seeing peak-of-her-beauty Kate Beckinsale on screen for 45+ mins makes you happy, then I can’t recommend this Xmas movie enough
a man wearing a black jacket and scarf smiles at a woman
ALT: a man wearing a black jacket and scarf smiles at a woman
media.tenor.com
December 2, 2024 at 4:59 PM
#Serendipity is a 91-min rom-com that kinda/sorta takes place at Christmastime & stars Kate Beckinsale as a woman who something, something. If, like me, seeing peak-of-her-beauty Kate Beckinsale on screen for 45+ mins makes you happy, then I can’t recommend this Xmas movie enough
As this holiday weekend comes to an end, I’d like to wish Happy Honda Days to you and yours
December 2, 2024 at 2:45 AM
As this holiday weekend comes to an end, I’d like to wish Happy Honda Days to you and yours
My now 17yo son at age 8: “I totally believe in Elf on the Shelf, but one thing I don’t understand is, if Santa has all these magic elves who can fly back and forth from everyone’s houses to the North Pole each night, why is he selling them at Target for like $20?”
December 1, 2024 at 7:23 PM
My now 17yo son at age 8: “I totally believe in Elf on the Shelf, but one thing I don’t understand is, if Santa has all these magic elves who can fly back and forth from everyone’s houses to the North Pole each night, why is he selling them at Target for like $20?”
Chuck Woolery retweeting conspiracy theorists from beyond the grave is everything you need to know about the current state of Elon’s X (Twitter)
November 30, 2024 at 11:35 PM
Chuck Woolery retweeting conspiracy theorists from beyond the grave is everything you need to know about the current state of Elon’s X (Twitter)
Leave it to America to invent the turducken - a Russian nesting doll you can eat!!!
November 28, 2024 at 4:25 PM
Leave it to America to invent the turducken - a Russian nesting doll you can eat!!!
THANKSGIVING FACT:
At the very first Thanksgiving, the Pilgrims & Indians argued like crazy over all the lies they heard from the “lamestream” media
At the very first Thanksgiving, the Pilgrims & Indians argued like crazy over all the lies they heard from the “lamestream” media
November 28, 2024 at 4:16 PM
THANKSGIVING FACT:
At the very first Thanksgiving, the Pilgrims & Indians argued like crazy over all the lies they heard from the “lamestream” media
At the very first Thanksgiving, the Pilgrims & Indians argued like crazy over all the lies they heard from the “lamestream” media
PRO TIP: No one ever talks politics at the kids table
Happy Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving!
November 28, 2024 at 4:09 PM
PRO TIP: No one ever talks politics at the kids table
Happy Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving!
THANKSGIVING FACTS:
White Meat > Dark Meat
Gravy > Cranberry Sauce
Sweet Potatoes > Mashed Potatoes
Stuffing > Mac N Cheese
Creamed Spinach > Creamed Corn
Green Bean Casserole > Squash Casserole
Diarrhea Smoothie > Pumpkin Pie
Bullet to the Head > Pecan Pie
White Meat > Dark Meat
Gravy > Cranberry Sauce
Sweet Potatoes > Mashed Potatoes
Stuffing > Mac N Cheese
Creamed Spinach > Creamed Corn
Green Bean Casserole > Squash Casserole
Diarrhea Smoothie > Pumpkin Pie
Bullet to the Head > Pecan Pie
November 27, 2024 at 7:06 PM
THANKSGIVING FACTS:
White Meat > Dark Meat
Gravy > Cranberry Sauce
Sweet Potatoes > Mashed Potatoes
Stuffing > Mac N Cheese
Creamed Spinach > Creamed Corn
Green Bean Casserole > Squash Casserole
Diarrhea Smoothie > Pumpkin Pie
Bullet to the Head > Pecan Pie
White Meat > Dark Meat
Gravy > Cranberry Sauce
Sweet Potatoes > Mashed Potatoes
Stuffing > Mac N Cheese
Creamed Spinach > Creamed Corn
Green Bean Casserole > Squash Casserole
Diarrhea Smoothie > Pumpkin Pie
Bullet to the Head > Pecan Pie
Blue Man Group ending its NYC run after 30 years and over 17,000 performances is such sad news for Tobias Fünke
November 27, 2024 at 5:53 AM
Blue Man Group ending its NYC run after 30 years and over 17,000 performances is such sad news for Tobias Fünke
Molly Bloom (the woman behind “Molly’s Game”) just popped up on my Bumble and I refuse to swipe right because I don’t wanna live in a world where I know for certain I have no chance with her
November 26, 2024 at 11:42 PM
Molly Bloom (the woman behind “Molly’s Game”) just popped up on my Bumble and I refuse to swipe right because I don’t wanna live in a world where I know for certain I have no chance with her
My superpower is I can tell how old a person is within one year simply by watching them attempt to climb over a chain link fence
November 22, 2024 at 5:00 AM
My superpower is I can tell how old a person is within one year simply by watching them attempt to climb over a chain link fence