Jeremy Spitzberg
@jeremyspitzberg.com
Surrounded by girls 👩🏼❤️👨🏻👩🏻🤝👩🏼🐕
Cyclist 🚴♂️
Soccer writer emeritus (All those #FPL content creators are my fault) ⚽️
Women's sports appreciator ⚽️🏑🏐
Cyclist 🚴♂️
Soccer writer emeritus (All those #FPL content creators are my fault) ⚽️
Women's sports appreciator ⚽️🏑🏐
Pinned
Jeremy Spitzberg
@jeremyspitzberg.com
· Feb 4
BREAKING:
"Someone must have been telling lies about Josef K., he knew he had done nothing wrong but, one morning, he was arrested."
NEWS: During a hearing in federal court in VA, prosecutors confirmed that the operative indictment in the case against James Comey was never shown to or voted on by the entire grand jury before it was presented in open court.
Defense counsel argued that’s a complete bar to further prosecution
Defense counsel argued that’s a complete bar to further prosecution
November 19, 2025 at 4:53 PM
"Someone must have been telling lies about Josef K., he knew he had done nothing wrong but, one morning, he was arrested."
If you see this, post your getaway vehicle.
November 19, 2025 at 12:55 AM
If you see this, post your getaway vehicle.
He’s running.
NEW: Brad Lander says he wants a trial, not a deal to drop his charge stemming from an arrest by ICE.
After Arrest by ICE, City Comptroller Rejects Deal and Seeks Trial
Other officials arrested while protesting at 26 Federal Plaza in September will have their federal charges dropped if they avoid arrest inside a federal building for six months.
www.thecity.nyc
November 18, 2025 at 8:41 PM
He’s running.
"Quiet. Quiet, Piggy."
November 18, 2025 at 7:43 PM
"Quiet. Quiet, Piggy."
Overused, but not incorrect:
"The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command."
"The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command."
Nancy Mace: "You can see in the Epstein emails that he's clearly targeting President Trump as retribution for him being a good man ... he's a good man who protects women. That's what real men do."
November 18, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Overused, but not incorrect:
"The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command."
"The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command."
Still waiting for a good “hiking the Appalachian Trail” joke.
November 18, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Still waiting for a good “hiking the Appalachian Trail” joke.
“Everyone is 12.”
There. Saved you a click.
There. Saved you a click.
“The juvenile actions and accusatory language spouting from every orifice of government may be among the most superficial features of our current crisis, but it is symptomatic of a larger disrespect for professionalism and professional competence.” www.liberalcurrents.com/the-war-on-p...
The War on Professionalism and Professional Competence
Incompetence and sloppiness are the self-conscious ethos of the administration.
www.liberalcurrents.com
November 17, 2025 at 8:32 PM
“Everyone is 12.”
There. Saved you a click.
There. Saved you a click.
White House ketchup to be served in plastic bottles tonight.
Breaking News: A federal judge said that the case against James Comey, the former FBI director, could be in serious trouble because of apparent misconduct by the Justice Department's inexperienced prosecutor picked by President Trump to handle the matter.
Judge Says Justice Dept. May Have Committed ‘Misconduct’ in Comey Case
The ruling by a magistrate judge in Alexandria, Va., was only the most recent setback in the department’s efforts to bring charges against the former F.B.I. director James B. Comey.
nyti.ms
November 17, 2025 at 8:09 PM
White House ketchup to be served in plastic bottles tonight.
The worst is over, San Diego.
November 16, 2025 at 4:18 PM
The worst is over, San Diego.
A dreary morning for some field hockey.
November 15, 2025 at 5:34 PM
A dreary morning for some field hockey.
The Patriots look like the desaturated Titans.
November 14, 2025 at 4:24 AM
The Patriots look like the desaturated Titans.
Roy Moore at home in Alabama today thinking, "Why me? What the fuck did I do wrong?"
November 13, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Roy Moore at home in Alabama today thinking, "Why me? What the fuck did I do wrong?"
Probably not the first at this joke, but...
"Jeffrey Epstein was doing pedophilia the right way."
-- Ezra Klein
"Jeffrey Epstein was doing pedophilia the right way."
-- Ezra Klein
Megyn Kelly: "I know somebody very close to this case…Jeffrey Epstein, in this person's view, was not a pedophile…He was into the barely legal type, like he liked 15 year old girls…He wasn't into like 8 year olds…There's a difference between a 15 year old and a 5 year old."
November 13, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Probably not the first at this joke, but...
"Jeffrey Epstein was doing pedophilia the right way."
-- Ezra Klein
"Jeffrey Epstein was doing pedophilia the right way."
-- Ezra Klein
“And it was all yellow” 💛🎵
Make sure to wear your yellow on Saturday! Checkout out our new yellow gear on our stadium shop! BOPIS orders must be placed before Friday 11/14 at 12pm!
🛍️🛒 washingtonspiritstadiumshop.com
Make sure to wear your yellow on Saturday! Checkout out our new yellow gear on our stadium shop! BOPIS orders must be placed before Friday 11/14 at 12pm!
🛍️🛒 washingtonspiritstadiumshop.com
November 12, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Third place! 🥉
Thank you @sheplaysinc.bsky.social for a great season. Not only did I show, but I coached my daughter through her first #NWSL fantasy season and into a top 20 finish! #DadGoals
Thank you @sheplaysinc.bsky.social for a great season. Not only did I show, but I coached my daughter through her first #NWSL fantasy season and into a top 20 finish! #DadGoals
November 12, 2025 at 2:06 PM
Third place! 🥉
Thank you @sheplaysinc.bsky.social for a great season. Not only did I show, but I coached my daughter through her first #NWSL fantasy season and into a top 20 finish! #DadGoals
Thank you @sheplaysinc.bsky.social for a great season. Not only did I show, but I coached my daughter through her first #NWSL fantasy season and into a top 20 finish! #DadGoals
“The DoorDash Breakfast Basics Index — measuring the price of a typical basket of breakfast staples like eggs, milk and bagels — decreased 14% between March and September 2025.”
Prices peaked in March but still up over 100% year-over-year. There’s this Mark Twain quote I’m thinking of…
Prices peaked in March but still up over 100% year-over-year. There’s this Mark Twain quote I’m thinking of…
What National Statistics Miss: Inside DoorDash’s First-Ever State of Local Commerce Report
New report provides a unique, data-driven view into how local commerce is evolving
about.doordash.com
November 12, 2025 at 2:54 AM
“The DoorDash Breakfast Basics Index — measuring the price of a typical basket of breakfast staples like eggs, milk and bagels — decreased 14% between March and September 2025.”
Prices peaked in March but still up over 100% year-over-year. There’s this Mark Twain quote I’m thinking of…
Prices peaked in March but still up over 100% year-over-year. There’s this Mark Twain quote I’m thinking of…
ESPN: running the final score of the game I’m watching across the bottom scroll since forever. 😡
November 12, 2025 at 1:36 AM
ESPN: running the final score of the game I’m watching across the bottom scroll since forever. 😡
I’m sorry, but having UNC and Northwestern on the same side bracket so they would meet in a field hockey semifinal instead of the final is malpractice by the NCAA.
November 11, 2025 at 1:03 AM
I’m sorry, but having UNC and Northwestern on the same side bracket so they would meet in a field hockey semifinal instead of the final is malpractice by the NCAA.
Long shot: Anyone (else) remember seeing Stereophonics in San Diego at the Mira Mesa Rec Center circa 2000/2001? Mostly acoustic set that they played seated.
It's such a ridiculous idea that I'm starting to think I hallucinated the entire thing.
It's such a ridiculous idea that I'm starting to think I hallucinated the entire thing.
November 11, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Long shot: Anyone (else) remember seeing Stereophonics in San Diego at the Mira Mesa Rec Center circa 2000/2001? Mostly acoustic set that they played seated.
It's such a ridiculous idea that I'm starting to think I hallucinated the entire thing.
It's such a ridiculous idea that I'm starting to think I hallucinated the entire thing.
Why do all Senators think they are (want to be) pundits?
Probably more “everybody is 12” theory where you want all the acclaim with none of the accountability.
Probably more “everybody is 12” theory where you want all the acclaim with none of the accountability.
November 10, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Why do all Senators think they are (want to be) pundits?
Probably more “everybody is 12” theory where you want all the acclaim with none of the accountability.
Probably more “everybody is 12” theory where you want all the acclaim with none of the accountability.
Nights like these. Man o man…
Thankfully I get to go bathe in some live music with @queenofjeans.bsky.social and forget about it all for a moment.
Thankfully I get to go bathe in some live music with @queenofjeans.bsky.social and forget about it all for a moment.
November 10, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Nights like these. Man o man…
Thankfully I get to go bathe in some live music with @queenofjeans.bsky.social and forget about it all for a moment.
Thankfully I get to go bathe in some live music with @queenofjeans.bsky.social and forget about it all for a moment.
Portland subs made an impact. Wave’s haven’t.
November 9, 2025 at 10:47 PM
Portland subs made an impact. Wave’s haven’t.
Is it reductive to say the Portland having a forward, Tordin, available changed the game?
November 9, 2025 at 10:22 PM
Is it reductive to say the Portland having a forward, Tordin, available changed the game?
Wave playing down a player all game. No, wait… that’s just Kimmi at center forward.
November 9, 2025 at 9:32 PM
Wave playing down a player all game. No, wait… that’s just Kimmi at center forward.