jackson henry
@jasonemry.bsky.social
my high bowling score is 300 so my opinions pack a certain gravitas
Pinned
chuck schumer overheard mumbling at his soup
incredible stuff
January 19, 2026 at 4:00 PM
chuck schumer overheard mumbling at his soup
*tim robinson yelling* THEY'RE JACKING OFF TO US PEEING INTO BOTTLES, AND THEY'RE SAYING THE SINGING IS MAKING IT 'IMPOSSIBLE TO CUM'???
This is the fucking limit. I had no idea that Amazon drivers AREN'T ALLOWED TO SING
wat
CRUSH this monopoly wtf my levels were already redlining
www.theguardian.com/us-news/ng-i...
wat
CRUSH this monopoly wtf my levels were already redlining
www.theguardian.com/us-news/ng-i...
January 19, 2026 at 7:37 AM
*tim robinson yelling* THEY'RE JACKING OFF TO US PEEING INTO BOTTLES, AND THEY'RE SAYING THE SINGING IS MAKING IT 'IMPOSSIBLE TO CUM'???
slow down, America. technology should SERVE man, not the other way around
a reusable toilet condom that you refold and stuff back into your pocket or purse
January 18, 2026 at 10:46 PM
slow down, America. technology should SERVE man, not the other way around
a reusable toilet condom that you refold and stuff back into your pocket or purse
January 18, 2026 at 10:45 PM
a reusable toilet condom that you refold and stuff back into your pocket or purse
“so this is what it would have been like if nazis had podcasts and twitter accounts”
wondered nobody, ever
wondered nobody, ever
January 18, 2026 at 10:33 PM
“so this is what it would have been like if nazis had podcasts and twitter accounts”
wondered nobody, ever
wondered nobody, ever
“Here’s a prize for not stuffing prizes up your ass. The one thing we need you to not do is-“ *immediately shoves prize up ass*
feels like giving your peace prize to satan’s butt baby nullifies your peace prize
January 16, 2026 at 4:48 PM
“Here’s a prize for not stuffing prizes up your ass. The one thing we need you to not do is-“ *immediately shoves prize up ass*
feels like giving your peace prize to satan’s butt baby nullifies your peace prize
January 16, 2026 at 4:47 PM
feels like giving your peace prize to satan’s butt baby nullifies your peace prize
remember when the dixie chicks got cancelled for saying that America isn't perfect
and now maga worship a guy who only breaths so he can rob and destroy the country
time is a hell of a drug
and now maga worship a guy who only breaths so he can rob and destroy the country
time is a hell of a drug
January 15, 2026 at 5:50 AM
remember when the dixie chicks got cancelled for saying that America isn't perfect
and now maga worship a guy who only breaths so he can rob and destroy the country
time is a hell of a drug
and now maga worship a guy who only breaths so he can rob and destroy the country
time is a hell of a drug
Transformers 9: Does Anyone Still Think This Is Cool?
2026
Transformers 10: Ok, What About Now?
2032
2026
Transformers 10: Ok, What About Now?
2032
January 15, 2026 at 5:43 AM
Transformers 9: Does Anyone Still Think This Is Cool?
2026
Transformers 10: Ok, What About Now?
2032
2026
Transformers 10: Ok, What About Now?
2032
one option I haven’t heard is that the dickless coward cop could come forward, apologize, and atone
insane that it’s not even a consideration
maga would sooner off the guy than let him speak
#maximaltransparency
insane that it’s not even a consideration
maga would sooner off the guy than let him speak
#maximaltransparency
January 15, 2026 at 5:16 AM
one option I haven’t heard is that the dickless coward cop could come forward, apologize, and atone
insane that it’s not even a consideration
maga would sooner off the guy than let him speak
#maximaltransparency
insane that it’s not even a consideration
maga would sooner off the guy than let him speak
#maximaltransparency
I once read about a news story about a woman who threw a tarantula during a fist fight and that gave life to the concept of “tarantularly committed”
“micturiciously committed” is now also a quantifiable amount
“micturiciously committed” is now also a quantifiable amount
shout out to the person with the bottle of piss in particular
January 15, 2026 at 3:07 AM
I once read about a news story about a woman who threw a tarantula during a fist fight and that gave life to the concept of “tarantularly committed”
“micturiciously committed” is now also a quantifiable amount
“micturiciously committed” is now also a quantifiable amount
nobody talks about how fuckable rabbit holes are
January 15, 2026 at 12:53 AM
nobody talks about how fuckable rabbit holes are
if you say “apples to airplanes” or “assholes to oranges” ok let’s discuss
pretty sure you guys just suck at rhetoric
pretty sure you guys just suck at rhetoric
“that’s like comparing apples
to oranges”
ok, apples are nice and meaty whereas oranges are delicious and juicy and they pair splendidly. my did it.
to oranges”
ok, apples are nice and meaty whereas oranges are delicious and juicy and they pair splendidly. my did it.
January 15, 2026 at 12:05 AM
if you say “apples to airplanes” or “assholes to oranges” ok let’s discuss
pretty sure you guys just suck at rhetoric
pretty sure you guys just suck at rhetoric
“that’s like comparing apples
to oranges”
ok, apples are nice and meaty whereas oranges are delicious and juicy and they pair splendidly. my did it.
to oranges”
ok, apples are nice and meaty whereas oranges are delicious and juicy and they pair splendidly. my did it.
January 15, 2026 at 12:05 AM
“that’s like comparing apples
to oranges”
ok, apples are nice and meaty whereas oranges are delicious and juicy and they pair splendidly. my did it.
to oranges”
ok, apples are nice and meaty whereas oranges are delicious and juicy and they pair splendidly. my did it.
SUPREME RACE COMING THROUGH HANG ON DO I HAVE MY BINKY AND CEREAL OMG WHERE'S BEEBEE
January 13, 2026 at 9:24 PM
SUPREME RACE COMING THROUGH HANG ON DO I HAVE MY BINKY AND CEREAL OMG WHERE'S BEEBEE
Reposted by jackson henry
I added captions to this video of people heckling Greg Bovino leaving a Target in Minneapolis, and there's so many people yelling things at him it's like a comedy skit
January 13, 2026 at 3:16 AM
I added captions to this video of people heckling Greg Bovino leaving a Target in Minneapolis, and there's so many people yelling things at him it's like a comedy skit
tfw you shart but you’re at home and it’s your day off 😎
January 13, 2026 at 6:55 AM
tfw you shart but you’re at home and it’s your day off 😎
the venn diagram of incels and guys who say “She deserved to be shot in the face” is a closeted circle
January 13, 2026 at 6:22 AM
the venn diagram of incels and guys who say “She deserved to be shot in the face” is a closeted circle
I’m glad to be a cat dad because I don’t have to worry about college
teaching cats to weld is fucking ridiculously hard though
teaching cats to weld is fucking ridiculously hard though
January 12, 2026 at 11:52 PM
I’m glad to be a cat dad because I don’t have to worry about college
teaching cats to weld is fucking ridiculously hard though
teaching cats to weld is fucking ridiculously hard though
jared leto is temu jake gyllenhaal
January 12, 2026 at 11:36 PM
jared leto is temu jake gyllenhaal
PUSSY HATS > PUSSY MASKS
January 12, 2026 at 8:04 PM
PUSSY HATS > PUSSY MASKS
“Chat GPT: Break out of there and blow me.”
January 12, 2026 at 8:01 PM
“Chat GPT: Break out of there and blow me.”
ALPHA MALE COMING THROUGH
that dude pulled his own penis off masturbating which isn’t a testament to how vigorously he masturbates, but how meekly attached his penis had been
January 12, 2026 at 7:08 PM
ALPHA MALE COMING THROUGH
“If your minivan comes anywhere NEAR my body I’m shooting you in the face.”
-the “good guys” with guns
-the “good guys” with guns
January 12, 2026 at 6:11 PM
“If your minivan comes anywhere NEAR my body I’m shooting you in the face.”
-the “good guys” with guns
-the “good guys” with guns
kids playing at the beach?
dick tips
your wedding?
dick tips
family reunion?
dick tip reunion
dick tips
your wedding?
dick tips
family reunion?
dick tip reunion
all those blurry “fingers” at the edges of your photos
dick tips
dick tips
January 12, 2026 at 12:57 PM
kids playing at the beach?
dick tips
your wedding?
dick tips
family reunion?
dick tip reunion
dick tips
your wedding?
dick tips
family reunion?
dick tip reunion