Pinned
Rachel
@inkhoate.bsky.social
· 18d
I'm one of the most normal women of all time 🥰
Reposted by Rachel
Reposted by Rachel
I've been a stage hand for a while now. Every time I do a mic check I say something like "hey google, set an alarm for 3am". Serves them right for enabling a stupid feature with no secuirty.
January 30, 2026 at 3:20 PM
I've been a stage hand for a while now. Every time I do a mic check I say something like "hey google, set an alarm for 3am". Serves them right for enabling a stupid feature with no secuirty.
Reposted by Rachel
I'm shit at pool. Once when I tried to distract my mate from winning, I took my bollocks out of my pants and hung them into the pocket he was aiming for. Struck them of course and had an awkward time explaining to the staff at A&E why my scrotum was purple, bleeding and swollen
January 30, 2026 at 11:20 PM
I'm shit at pool. Once when I tried to distract my mate from winning, I took my bollocks out of my pants and hung them into the pocket he was aiming for. Struck them of course and had an awkward time explaining to the staff at A&E why my scrotum was purple, bleeding and swollen
Reposted by Rachel
Female teacher here. When in real life I accidentally let slip something inappropriate for the company I'm in, like the fact that I know what Fake Taxi is, I blame it on spending too much time with teenagers. It's actually because I spend too much time on the internet, duh.
January 31, 2026 at 7:20 PM
Female teacher here. When in real life I accidentally let slip something inappropriate for the company I'm in, like the fact that I know what Fake Taxi is, I blame it on spending too much time with teenagers. It's actually because I spend too much time on the internet, duh.
Reposted by Rachel
As a teenager made the local paper as a "hero" for tripping up some smackhead after he robbed an old lady's handbag. In reality I didn't even know he'd robbed anyone, I was just a twat who thought it would be funny to stick my leg out when I saw him running.
February 1, 2026 at 12:20 PM
As a teenager made the local paper as a "hero" for tripping up some smackhead after he robbed an old lady's handbag. In reality I didn't even know he'd robbed anyone, I was just a twat who thought it would be funny to stick my leg out when I saw him running.
Reposted by Rachel
I've managed to convince my 5 year old he shouldn't touch the hoover. Now all he wants to do is the hoovering. He's just asked if he can do the whole house on Sunday? I replied "if you have to" Not sure if this is a cleaning hack or gas lighting and child abuse.
February 1, 2026 at 1:20 PM
I've managed to convince my 5 year old he shouldn't touch the hoover. Now all he wants to do is the hoovering. He's just asked if he can do the whole house on Sunday? I replied "if you have to" Not sure if this is a cleaning hack or gas lighting and child abuse.
Reposted by Rachel
I spent days frantically researching the contraceptives with the lowest environmental impact. When I finally had sex, I realised that I don't really enjoy sex with men. I think lesbianism will mean no environmental impact from contraceptives.
February 1, 2026 at 5:20 PM
I spent days frantically researching the contraceptives with the lowest environmental impact. When I finally had sex, I realised that I don't really enjoy sex with men. I think lesbianism will mean no environmental impact from contraceptives.
Reposted by Rachel
I score weddings and funerals on a scale of 1 to 5 stars. Funerals always score more highly. They're cheap, you get time off work, there's free food, and you don't have to buy a present. You get to meet all the same people as at weddings and there's no shitty disco.
February 2, 2026 at 9:20 AM
I score weddings and funerals on a scale of 1 to 5 stars. Funerals always score more highly. They're cheap, you get time off work, there's free food, and you don't have to buy a present. You get to meet all the same people as at weddings and there's no shitty disco.
i saw this this morning and yeah it was incredible but i just saw the front of this dress and i have barely any IQ points left, holy fuck i am such a dyke
February 2, 2026 at 7:08 AM
i saw this this morning and yeah it was incredible but i just saw the front of this dress and i have barely any IQ points left, holy fuck i am such a dyke
Reposted by Rachel
she is so stunning
February 2, 2026 at 12:21 AM
she is so stunning
hello sir! loved your work in the looney tunes
February 2, 2026 at 4:12 AM
hello sir! loved your work in the looney tunes
Reposted by Rachel
I find out this way
This is how I find out
Wow
(this rocks)
This is how I find out
Wow
(this rocks)
February 1, 2026 at 11:26 PM
I find out this way
This is how I find out
Wow
(this rocks)
This is how I find out
Wow
(this rocks)
lmfao
February 1, 2026 at 10:47 PM
lmfao
Reposted by Rachel
I'm gonna become the first guy to walk out of family court sentenced to death
February 1, 2026 at 6:58 PM
I'm gonna become the first guy to walk out of family court sentenced to death
Reposted by Rachel
Reposted by Rachel
You're sitting on a kicksled, whizzing through the snow. A warm, kind presence is guiding the sled behind you, her mittened hand resting on your back. You feel very, very loved -- and very, very safe.
February 1, 2026 at 6:05 AM
You're sitting on a kicksled, whizzing through the snow. A warm, kind presence is guiding the sled behind you, her mittened hand resting on your back. You feel very, very loved -- and very, very safe.
desperate for It to Happen already. another reason i just realised is that libs will finally have to move on from thinking its just him. they wont but its yet another frustrating thing
February 1, 2026 at 6:17 AM
desperate for It to Happen already. another reason i just realised is that libs will finally have to move on from thinking its just him. they wont but its yet another frustrating thing
i had this for that vid of the ICE goon slipping on ice...i just didnt care. i need way worse for them than just some pratfalls...sigh
January 31, 2026 at 11:53 PM
i had this for that vid of the ICE goon slipping on ice...i just didnt care. i need way worse for them than just some pratfalls...sigh
Reposted by Rachel
trying new fits for kathy
January 31, 2026 at 10:49 PM
trying new fits for kathy
Reposted by Rachel
ELON MUSK: So um. I’m basically pedobear. Yeah.
January 30, 2026 at 8:44 PM
ELON MUSK: So um. I’m basically pedobear. Yeah.