Amanda | Illuminescence
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illuminescence.bsky.social
Amanda | Illuminescence
@illuminescence.bsky.social
120 followers 110 following 620 posts
Retired game designer. Fanfic writer. Learning digital artist. Big fan of Taskmaster. Love escape rooms, fungus and mosses, pop-up paper design, and weird stuff generally. Hello.
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Reposted by Amanda | Illuminescence
watsoncomedian.bsky.social
I’m back.
The Taskmaster House. Brick frontage, porthole windows, weird ornate golden arch over the door. Mark Watson, from Taskmaster, but eight years older. Hair now flecked with grey. Taskmaster souvenir t-shirt, white with red sleeves. Perfect picture of a rainbow over his left shoulder.
November 6, 2025 at 3:16 PM
illuminescence.bsky.social
You think you don't want to read an article about a football match, but you do. You really do.
Trust me you do.
todayinhornestory.bsky.social Today In Hornestory @todayinhornestory.bsky.social · 7d
6 November 1998 - Face the facts. If Alex Horne were to report on a football game between the Navy and the Blues, and there WASN'T an extended nautical metaphor and reference to Jane Fonda, you'd be confused.

Unearthed at the British Library by @illuminescence.bsky.social
Navy sail over Blue sea Alex Horne sees a polished Navy outfit defeat Blues Image of football play with caption: All hands on deck in defence AS THE TEAMS WARMED UP FOR THIS traditionally bruising match the Royal Navy looked the more dashing of the sides, dressed immaculately in their sailors' hats, neck-ties and the funny bell bottoms with white turn-ups. But on a perfect pitch under a cloudless sky, the Blues looked just as bright and keen to win, boosted by the return from injury of captain Mark Pett. Playing against the strong wind in the first half, it was the Navy who piled on the early pressure with a powerful shot from able-seaman Hope, a cracking own-goal attempt from Cambridge's Andy Fearnley, and then disastrously, a soft goal from a weak clearance by Blues keeper Dan Madden. Despite some skillful football from the likes of Andy Jennings and Mark Walsh, the game then deteriorated into an ugly midfield battle. The wind was making the game extremely tight, but my eyes that could never really compete. with the tightness of the referees white T-shirt which he probably put on after spilling something on his black one. Behind us, meanwhile, the Blues subs James Purshouse and Ian Brooksbank were doing a very sexy warm-up routine which I instantly recognized from the secret Jane Fonda video hidden under my bed, while the Navy boys did the hornpipe, whatever that is. On the pitch, Andy Jennings and Tom "Tino Fearnley combined to take the wind out of the Navy's sails for a while, Tino neatly rounding the keeper after a masterstroke of a through-bal from Jennings the like of which you simply can't coach. There followed a sustained period of pressure from the Blues, spurred on by lan Mowat's frankly painful tackles and some excellent work from Madden making up for his early mistake. At one point, however, Madden was blatantly and quite rightly ignored when he started shouting “use me, use me" in the Cambridge goal. I have no idea what he wanted. Cont'd - So at 1-1 things were looking good for the Blues at half-time until a transformed Navy side emerged from the dressing-up-room. Within seconds cabin-boy Keaton had viciously head-butted our own Mark Walsh (well, I suppose it was more of a fifty-fifty), Peter Husband was hacked down in a particularly vicious challenge, then first-mate Sudlow was booked for threatening behaviour with a knife. (Two of those are true.) The Navy were obviously taking the game a bit more seriously now In a grim reflection of today's society, these fouls led almost inevitably to a goal minutes later when Stacey followed up an excellent save from the unlucky Madden. Still, there'll be other matches for Madden while Stacey will always be a girl's name. With coach Admiral Nash shouting things like, "Ooh, shiver me timbers, aye aye", and waving his wooden leg on the sidelines, the Navy then doubled their lead with a penalty blasted like a canon ball clean through the unfortunate Madden. In the final stages the Blues fought back well led by the strong tackling of Pett, and deservedly snatched a second goal when Andy Walford slotted home a penalty to the goalie's port-side after Husband had been bundled down, gagged, held to gun-point and ransomed in the box. But against the Navy's sheer strength the Blues never really looked like winning. Mark Pett said afterwards that "the lads showed grit and determination and didn't give up", but this was simply not enough. He also said, "We can beat anyone if we keep the ball on the deck", which made me laugh and laugh, because boats have decks, so I laughed and laughed until I realised everybody else had gone home. Men's Football Blues 2 3 Navy
November 6, 2025 at 7:57 AM
illuminescence.bsky.social
"...be confident the risk of death is low."
Words to live by (almost all the time).
watsoncomedian.bsky.social Mark Watson, in November @watsoncomedian.bsky.social · 7d
It’s still pretty mild here and looks like staying that way - although obviously that’s still very cool by Californian standards. Bring some options but be confident the risk of death is low.
November 5, 2025 at 3:58 PM
illuminescence.bsky.social
Aaaaah! Going to see Rosie Jones' show tonight in Birmingham!

Very excited - especially as the last time I saw anything of hers she was in Clash of the Comics and she [REDACTED] Phil Wang!

www.oldrep.co.uk/event-detail...
#comedy #birmingham
Event Details - The Old Rep Theatre
www.oldrep.co.uk
October 30, 2025 at 10:02 AM
Reposted by Amanda | Illuminescence
alexhorne.bsky.social
I love duck tasks! Thank goodness that didn't autocorrect. New Taskmaster. Tonight at 9pm on Channel 4!
October 30, 2025 at 9:35 AM
illuminescence.bsky.social
I got to get a reader pass from the British Library, and it's the coolest I've ever felt.
todayinhornestory.bsky.social Today In Hornestory @todayinhornestory.bsky.social · 14d
30 October 1998 - Stirring reporting in Cambridge's Varsity magazine. In attempting to relate the facts of a football game, Alex writes a short memoir of his time as a linesman.

Unearthed as 🙀 physical media 🙀 by the multi-talented paragon of TM fandom: @illuminescence.bsky.social (more to come!)
Newspaper clipping. Crisp Falcons Performance by Alex Horne. See following images for complete alt text. WHEN THE CARDIFF TEAM eventually turned up two and a half hours late, owing to a wet bridge, the gale force wind had slackened to a cool force seven and you couldn't see the rain because it was almost dark - so everyone really wanted the game to go ahead. Definitely. I personally got even more excited when the ref, Olly Carroll, handed me a luminous yellow flag and told me to run the line. Thanks Olly. So, just before four o'clock the Falcons kicked off with the wind behind them and thankfully exerted so much pressure that for the first 15 minutes that I had very little to do at my end. Highlights included a powerful header against the bar by Dave Hunt, a controversial throw-in decision by me, and two near misses by Doug McCabe which really should have given Cambridge the lead. Cardiff slipped back into the game thanks to their best player, nicknamed NikNak, who constantly teased me and the defence by drifting into an offside position then nipping back on side just before the ball was played. But Michael McCooe and Chris Conighan had no trouble keeping Mr NikNak at bay, especially with the expert guidance of captain and Lineker look-alike Dave Hunt (should you be so closely associated with another make of crisp, Gary?). And so it was that with 25 minutes gone, Rohan (Pedigree) Churm deservedly broke the deadlock, sweetly finishing off a move that laughed in the ugly face of the adverse weather that kept me amused rather than scared. "Who's bigger and who's uglier? We are!" encouraged Dave (Gary) Hunt bizarrely at half-time as the Falcons sheltered behind a hedge, but the second half began ominously as Cardiff began to make full use of the dastardly wind. I started well enough though, catching NikNak offside twice and causing Geordie to shout; "You're taking the piss, linesman." I don't think I was. If I had been I would have told him to go back to the Bundesliga or something, but I didn't. All I said was: "I'm a referee's assistant, actually." Heroic defending and a touch of luck kept Cardiff out for 20 minutes, Doug McCabe suffering a Terry Butcher-like head-wound as a result. But nothing, not even my flag, could prevent NikNak snatching a scrappy late equaliser (nice and spicy) and only some God-like saves (whichever God is the best at football) from Peter Brown prevented Cardiff stealing the match in the final stages (too many brackets). Olly completed a successful debut as ref, ending the match at the pre-arranged 70 minutes, and agreed with both captains that the game had been impossible. Despite this, there was some quality football, the refereeing was faultless except that Geordie should have been sent off (for the haircut at the very least), and I had a cracking game apart from losing the little plastic stopper from the end of my flag. Men's Football Falcons 1 1 Cardiff
October 30, 2025 at 6:43 AM
Reposted by Amanda | Illuminescence
todayinhornestory.bsky.social
30 October 1998 - Stirring reporting in Cambridge's Varsity magazine. In attempting to relate the facts of a football game, Alex writes a short memoir of his time as a linesman.

Unearthed as 🙀 physical media 🙀 by the multi-talented paragon of TM fandom: @illuminescence.bsky.social (more to come!)
Newspaper clipping. Crisp Falcons Performance by Alex Horne. See following images for complete alt text. WHEN THE CARDIFF TEAM eventually turned up two and a half hours late, owing to a wet bridge, the gale force wind had slackened to a cool force seven and you couldn't see the rain because it was almost dark - so everyone really wanted the game to go ahead. Definitely. I personally got even more excited when the ref, Olly Carroll, handed me a luminous yellow flag and told me to run the line. Thanks Olly. So, just before four o'clock the Falcons kicked off with the wind behind them and thankfully exerted so much pressure that for the first 15 minutes that I had very little to do at my end. Highlights included a powerful header against the bar by Dave Hunt, a controversial throw-in decision by me, and two near misses by Doug McCabe which really should have given Cambridge the lead. Cardiff slipped back into the game thanks to their best player, nicknamed NikNak, who constantly teased me and the defence by drifting into an offside position then nipping back on side just before the ball was played. But Michael McCooe and Chris Conighan had no trouble keeping Mr NikNak at bay, especially with the expert guidance of captain and Lineker look-alike Dave Hunt (should you be so closely associated with another make of crisp, Gary?). And so it was that with 25 minutes gone, Rohan (Pedigree) Churm deservedly broke the deadlock, sweetly finishing off a move that laughed in the ugly face of the adverse weather that kept me amused rather than scared. "Who's bigger and who's uglier? We are!" encouraged Dave (Gary) Hunt bizarrely at half-time as the Falcons sheltered behind a hedge, but the second half began ominously as Cardiff began to make full use of the dastardly wind. I started well enough though, catching NikNak offside twice and causing Geordie to shout; "You're taking the piss, linesman." I don't think I was. If I had been I would have told him to go back to the Bundesliga or something, but I didn't. All I said was: "I'm a referee's assistant, actually." Heroic defending and a touch of luck kept Cardiff out for 20 minutes, Doug McCabe suffering a Terry Butcher-like head-wound as a result. But nothing, not even my flag, could prevent NikNak snatching a scrappy late equaliser (nice and spicy) and only some God-like saves (whichever God is the best at football) from Peter Brown prevented Cardiff stealing the match in the final stages (too many brackets). Olly completed a successful debut as ref, ending the match at the pre-arranged 70 minutes, and agreed with both captains that the game had been impossible. Despite this, there was some quality football, the refereeing was faultless except that Geordie should have been sent off (for the haircut at the very least), and I had a cracking game apart from losing the little plastic stopper from the end of my flag. Men's Football Falcons 1 1 Cardiff
October 30, 2025 at 6:05 AM
Reposted by Amanda | Illuminescence
alexhorne.bsky.social
Grand larceny! Physical assault! Butter sandwiches?

Witness it all on Taskmaster tonight! 9pm on Channel 4.
October 23, 2025 at 8:59 AM
illuminescence.bsky.social
👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
jawnwicks.bsky.social Gabe Utseks @jawnwicks.bsky.social · 25d
It is said that if you look at this sad little Qrs screencap seven times, he will reappear in a future task.
Alex Horne, as Qrs Tuvwxyz, lies in the bed of the Taskmaster caravan, looking despondently out of the window. He's wearing a white flannel dressing gown and is next to a big, black and white, stuffed toy tiger. Alex does something with his face, voice and body language this whole episode that completely transforms him into Qrs and it's an outrage that they've never returned.
October 19, 2025 at 8:22 AM
illuminescence.bsky.social
It was a lovely, sobering, friendly, and even fun night! The speakers were wonderful and so generous with their experiences, and the people organising things were just the nicest peeps. Special shout out to Lizzy the medic who was the best.

Please donate if you can - they're making a difference.
Photograph/selfie of Amanda and Alex Horne the morning after the SHOC Sleep Out in Slough. Both look a little tired, but smiling. Amanda is in a Clash of the Comics t-shirt and teal jacket, Alex is in a knitted jumper and a bright orange and black jacket.
October 17, 2025 at 6:18 PM
illuminescence.bsky.social
I've been enjoying seeing Alex with his white Casio F-91W watch. I think it looks neat. @taskmaster.tv
Screenshot of Alex Horne and Ania Magliano standing shoulder to shoulder in the Taskmaster library for her s20 interview. Alex is wearing a white Casio watch. #taskmaster #alexhorne #casio Screenshot of Greg Davies and Alex Horne sitting in dark and light blue suits respectively on the Seth Meyer's Late Night show. Alex is wearing a white Casio watch. Screenshot from the banter section of a series 20 episode of Taskmaster. Alex is on his throne looking down surprised at his wrist where his cuff is emanating smoke. Alex is wearing a white Casio watch. Photograph of Alex at a Christmas shindig gig with the Horne Section. He's wearing jeans and a Father Christmas jumper/vest and a pink paper hat. Alex is wearing a white Casio watch.
October 16, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Reposted by Amanda | Illuminescence
alexhorne.bsky.social
Flipping heck, this is a good episode! Tune in to Taskmaster. Tonight, 9pm on Channel 4.
October 16, 2025 at 8:42 AM
Reposted by Amanda | Illuminescence
taskmaster.tv
Would you like to experience Taskmaster in real life, with your own eyes and ears and other parts?

Tickets for our New Year Treat and Champion of Champions studio recordings will be available soon - sign up to our audience mailing list to find out when:

taskmaster.tv/taskmaster-a...
October 15, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Reposted by Amanda | Illuminescence
alexhorne.bsky.social
Here are the exciting Taskmaster prizes for The Big Sleep Out raffle. Closes at 5pm today. GOOD LUCK!

linktr.ee/littlealexho...
October 12, 2025 at 9:24 AM
Reposted by Amanda | Illuminescence
thehornesection.bsky.social
Hello. Mark (me! - the sax one) is on Cameo.. had fun today recording my first couple for people.. if you want birthday message/saxogram/a song/whatever follow this link v.cameo.com/e/LMCuFg8PnXb
Mark Brown - Personalized videos on Cameo
Mark Brown on Cameo! Cameo lets you request a personalized video message for any occasion.
v.cameo.com
October 11, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Reposted by Amanda | Illuminescence
cheekytexts.bsky.social
What are we calling this? Cheeky Text Day? The Cheeky Textaversary? Well, whatever it is, happy 8 years to @watsoncomedian.bsky.social and all of the cheeky text fans!

🎈🥳🎉

Of course I didn't forget your present!
www.cheekytexts.co.uk
Screenshot of a website. The top half is black with white text and reads: Cheeky Texts Clamouring for the release of Mark Watson's cheeky texts for... 7 years : 11 months : 29 days : 19 hours : 35 minutes : 17 seconds The bottom half is white with black texts and reads: Random Cheek I'd like to take you to the Taskmaster House, if you catch my drift. There is a button labelled 'another!' at the bottom.
October 11, 2025 at 4:30 PM
illuminescence.bsky.social
Train delay adventures but I'm on the last leg of the trip to the Sleep-Out in Slough!

Last chances to donate to the fundraising for SHOC before I sleep out tonight in a box and bag. I've been so fortunate to have met my goal, but the charity is as worthy as ever 💖💖
www.justgiving.com/page/amanda-j
Amanda's Big Sleep Out 2025
Help Amanda Jeffrey raise money to support SHOC
www.justgiving.com
October 10, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Reposted by Amanda | Illuminescence
diversestripes.bsky.social
lapped this up like dogs, didn't we
October 10, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Reposted by Amanda | Illuminescence
catherinemac.bsky.social
Superb evening at the Palladium to see the always excellent @thehornesection.bsky.social
October 7, 2025 at 10:27 PM
illuminescence.bsky.social
One free ticket for tonight's Horne Section gig at the London Palladium.

My Internet reach is limited, I'm a bit shy, and the seat is by me in row H, but if you'd like to come along, message me!

(I panic bought one more than I needed).
October 7, 2025 at 11:21 AM
Reposted by Amanda | Illuminescence
dolorsitametish.bsky.social
Whoops, it's #drawtober again, so everyone has to deal with another batch of my silly NMJ comics. In this one, we discuss the physics of pastry eating, and the dimensions and relative chewability of macs.
A 'comic book' page done in black linework and Ben-Day dots with yellow accents. It portrays a moment from No More Jockeys set 5, game 9, at approximately 6:15, in which Alex is baffled that Tim uses a "tear and chew" method for eating pastries rather than biting them. They then discuss which method should be used for Big Macs, and also Small Macs. Watson pretends to order a Large Mac from a drive-thru ordering kiosk from "Burger Key"
October 6, 2025 at 7:02 AM
Reposted by Amanda | Illuminescence
thehornesection.bsky.social
Ever wondered what goes on backstage during the interval at a Horne Section show? Well, here’s how Alex rallies the team for the second half
October 5, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Reposted by Amanda | Illuminescence
alexhorne.bsky.social
Tonight! Ania Magliano borrows my phone, which Greg quite enjoys. New Taskmaster, 9pm on Channel 4!
October 2, 2025 at 9:54 AM
illuminescence.bsky.social
What we all heard in our hearts as Greg mambo-ed with the best of them. #taskmaster
October 1, 2025 at 9:03 AM
Reposted by Amanda | Illuminescence
danthat.bsky.social
EARTH MUST DIE

Featuring a load of my favourite comedians - too many even to fit on the trailer! Joel Fry! Martha Howe-Douglas! @alexhorne.bsky.social! Tamsin Grieg! @5teviem.bsky.social @mrholness.bsky.social! @misterabk.bsky.social! @rosieisaholt.bsky.social! MORE

Please RETWEET and WISHLIST
September 28, 2025 at 4:10 PM