@humanpopsicle.bsky.social
Writer whose dream job would be partaking in comedic writers' rooms
I aspire to be the kind of man who sees two people hugging and immediately starts wrapping them in Christmas lights
January 3, 2025 at 10:58 PM
I aspire to be the kind of man who sees two people hugging and immediately starts wrapping them in Christmas lights
To avoid misgendering anyone, just refer to everyone as "Nutsack." Your grandparents won't understand it, but that's to be expected. They're a couple of nutsacks after all.
January 3, 2025 at 3:10 AM
To avoid misgendering anyone, just refer to everyone as "Nutsack." Your grandparents won't understand it, but that's to be expected. They're a couple of nutsacks after all.
Reposted
Women of the internet: I melt when he kisses me on the neck
My wife when I kiss her on the neck: GET OUT OF HERE, I'M TRYING TO TAKE A SHIT
My wife when I kiss her on the neck: GET OUT OF HERE, I'M TRYING TO TAKE A SHIT
March 9, 2024 at 2:58 PM
Women of the internet: I melt when he kisses me on the neck
My wife when I kiss her on the neck: GET OUT OF HERE, I'M TRYING TO TAKE A SHIT
My wife when I kiss her on the neck: GET OUT OF HERE, I'M TRYING TO TAKE A SHIT
Me: "Why am I farting so much?"
*Shrugs*
*Opens 2nd can of chilli*
*Shrugs*
*Opens 2nd can of chilli*
November 19, 2024 at 8:50 PM
Me: "Why am I farting so much?"
*Shrugs*
*Opens 2nd can of chilli*
*Shrugs*
*Opens 2nd can of chilli*
I wish people would stop saying, "Grab life by the balls."
It's quite insensitive to Lance Armstrong.
It's quite insensitive to Lance Armstrong.
June 24, 2024 at 2:20 AM
I wish people would stop saying, "Grab life by the balls."
It's quite insensitive to Lance Armstrong.
It's quite insensitive to Lance Armstrong.
Someone breaks out their binoculars and watches two birds screwing, with a third bird watching? It's just an interesting hobby.
I watch one parakeet through someone's kitchen window sans apparatus? And all of a sudden it's a mundane felony.
I watch one parakeet through someone's kitchen window sans apparatus? And all of a sudden it's a mundane felony.
May 24, 2024 at 9:30 PM
Someone breaks out their binoculars and watches two birds screwing, with a third bird watching? It's just an interesting hobby.
I watch one parakeet through someone's kitchen window sans apparatus? And all of a sudden it's a mundane felony.
I watch one parakeet through someone's kitchen window sans apparatus? And all of a sudden it's a mundane felony.
March 9, 2024 at 3:49 AM
A couple good lines from an EP of Bob's Burgers:
"I bet he's in there sharpening his gun."
-------
"Are you holding a butter knife?"
"You butter believe it."
"I bet he's in there sharpening his gun."
-------
"Are you holding a butter knife?"
"You butter believe it."
December 19, 2023 at 2:48 AM
A couple good lines from an EP of Bob's Burgers:
"I bet he's in there sharpening his gun."
-------
"Are you holding a butter knife?"
"You butter believe it."
"I bet he's in there sharpening his gun."
-------
"Are you holding a butter knife?"
"You butter believe it."
An exchange I enjoyed on Bob's Burgers:
"What's in it for me?"
"Well, what do you want?"
"I want money for a dog."
"You owe a dog money?"
"What's in it for me?"
"Well, what do you want?"
"I want money for a dog."
"You owe a dog money?"
December 13, 2023 at 3:35 AM
An exchange I enjoyed on Bob's Burgers:
"What's in it for me?"
"Well, what do you want?"
"I want money for a dog."
"You owe a dog money?"
"What's in it for me?"
"Well, what do you want?"
"I want money for a dog."
"You owe a dog money?"
Watching video on YouTube, "One hour of mind-blowing scientific theories on conscious universe", they mention Christoph Koke(sp?) a neuroscientist & former professor at Caltech who said something like living organisms possess consciousness due to their capacity to adapt their behavior when...
November 25, 2023 at 6:52 AM
Watching video on YouTube, "One hour of mind-blowing scientific theories on conscious universe", they mention Christoph Koke(sp?) a neuroscientist & former professor at Caltech who said something like living organisms possess consciousness due to their capacity to adapt their behavior when...
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
November 25, 2023 at 6:04 AM
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Semantic satiation
Watching It's Always Sunny and Dee finds a flier Frank & Charlie put up:
"Gruesome twosome seek exotic Europeans for weeklong rental in luxurious one-bedroom apartment.
Bed to be shared with owners. Shitter down hall.
Email F.Reynolds at Warthog-Orgyfart.edu"
Lol
"Orgyfart.edu"
"Gruesome twosome seek exotic Europeans for weeklong rental in luxurious one-bedroom apartment.
Bed to be shared with owners. Shitter down hall.
Email F.Reynolds at Warthog-Orgyfart.edu"
Lol
"Orgyfart.edu"
November 25, 2023 at 5:25 AM
Watching It's Always Sunny and Dee finds a flier Frank & Charlie put up:
"Gruesome twosome seek exotic Europeans for weeklong rental in luxurious one-bedroom apartment.
Bed to be shared with owners. Shitter down hall.
Email F.Reynolds at Warthog-Orgyfart.edu"
Lol
"Orgyfart.edu"
"Gruesome twosome seek exotic Europeans for weeklong rental in luxurious one-bedroom apartment.
Bed to be shared with owners. Shitter down hall.
Email F.Reynolds at Warthog-Orgyfart.edu"
Lol
"Orgyfart.edu"
When I see an actor/actress genuinely cry, I find myself wondering what thoughts they used to get that level of emotion.
I'm pretty sure I know what I'd use to get there, but then Id have trouble remembering my lines/physical motions I'm supposed to be doing.
It's impressive.
I'm pretty sure I know what I'd use to get there, but then Id have trouble remembering my lines/physical motions I'm supposed to be doing.
It's impressive.
November 25, 2023 at 5:19 AM
When I see an actor/actress genuinely cry, I find myself wondering what thoughts they used to get that level of emotion.
I'm pretty sure I know what I'd use to get there, but then Id have trouble remembering my lines/physical motions I'm supposed to be doing.
It's impressive.
I'm pretty sure I know what I'd use to get there, but then Id have trouble remembering my lines/physical motions I'm supposed to be doing.
It's impressive.
Random post lead me to the knowledge that the breathalyzers they put in cars get tested/calibrated once a month, and now I'm imagining the testing involves 1 technician and 1 dude who just stays hammered...and that's they're whole job.
"Hey Steve, blow in this."
*Beeeep
"Yup, still calibrated."
"Hey Steve, blow in this."
*Beeeep
"Yup, still calibrated."
November 25, 2023 at 5:09 AM
Random post lead me to the knowledge that the breathalyzers they put in cars get tested/calibrated once a month, and now I'm imagining the testing involves 1 technician and 1 dude who just stays hammered...and that's they're whole job.
"Hey Steve, blow in this."
*Beeeep
"Yup, still calibrated."
"Hey Steve, blow in this."
*Beeeep
"Yup, still calibrated."
The bedroom is no time to forget OSHA regulations
November 21, 2023 at 6:04 AM
The bedroom is no time to forget OSHA regulations
Some people build a couch cushion/pillow based fort and name it something fun like Fort Kickass, but I still havent saved up enough to afford the focus group testing required by The Association of Fort Enthusiasts and Associate Fort Enthusiasts, and so mine shamefully bears the name Fort Placeholder
November 12, 2023 at 3:31 PM
Some people build a couch cushion/pillow based fort and name it something fun like Fort Kickass, but I still havent saved up enough to afford the focus group testing required by The Association of Fort Enthusiasts and Associate Fort Enthusiasts, and so mine shamefully bears the name Fort Placeholder
Tired of seeing dating profiles uninterested in dating people under a certain height?
Do you find yourself wishing you could instantaneously be taller?
With this one simple trick you can appear larger at will: simply hold your arms above your head and wave them around.
*only tested on bears
Do you find yourself wishing you could instantaneously be taller?
With this one simple trick you can appear larger at will: simply hold your arms above your head and wave them around.
*only tested on bears
November 7, 2023 at 7:55 PM
Tired of seeing dating profiles uninterested in dating people under a certain height?
Do you find yourself wishing you could instantaneously be taller?
With this one simple trick you can appear larger at will: simply hold your arms above your head and wave them around.
*only tested on bears
Do you find yourself wishing you could instantaneously be taller?
With this one simple trick you can appear larger at will: simply hold your arms above your head and wave them around.
*only tested on bears
My new get rich quick scheme is flying to places like Martha's Vineyard and faking seizures in public...but I never carry my wallet when I do, so someone has to put THEIR wallet in my mouth, and in all the hullabaloo I end up walking off to people cheering my good fortune and also their wallet!
November 2, 2023 at 3:40 PM
My new get rich quick scheme is flying to places like Martha's Vineyard and faking seizures in public...but I never carry my wallet when I do, so someone has to put THEIR wallet in my mouth, and in all the hullabaloo I end up walking off to people cheering my good fortune and also their wallet!
Just got my covid vax for the season. Reminder that the newest shots are available.
The tech said that covid shots are no longer categorized as boosters and are now considered a seasonal vax just like the flu. (I might have the wording of that slightly off)
The tech said that covid shots are no longer categorized as boosters and are now considered a seasonal vax just like the flu. (I might have the wording of that slightly off)
October 19, 2023 at 8:30 PM
Just got my covid vax for the season. Reminder that the newest shots are available.
The tech said that covid shots are no longer categorized as boosters and are now considered a seasonal vax just like the flu. (I might have the wording of that slightly off)
The tech said that covid shots are no longer categorized as boosters and are now considered a seasonal vax just like the flu. (I might have the wording of that slightly off)
I only have one rule: Dont ever lie to me, and don't ever correct me
October 5, 2023 at 10:12 PM
I only have one rule: Dont ever lie to me, and don't ever correct me
Is a hobbit just a toddler bigfoot? This would explain their obsession with second breakfast.
September 30, 2023 at 7:35 PM
Is a hobbit just a toddler bigfoot? This would explain their obsession with second breakfast.
Movies like An American Tail and Fievel Goes West helped me understand that animals DO indeed wear clothing, leaving me to conclude that the squirrels and raccoons in my area are likely little furry perverts.
September 25, 2023 at 6:31 AM
Movies like An American Tail and Fievel Goes West helped me understand that animals DO indeed wear clothing, leaving me to conclude that the squirrels and raccoons in my area are likely little furry perverts.
If Top Gun 2 is staged, that's the last friggin documentary I bother watching.
September 22, 2023 at 1:45 AM
If Top Gun 2 is staged, that's the last friggin documentary I bother watching.
I refuse to chew Orbit gum, because then I'd basically be an astronaut, and I'm not ready to enter my heroic story arc.
September 21, 2023 at 11:13 AM
I refuse to chew Orbit gum, because then I'd basically be an astronaut, and I'm not ready to enter my heroic story arc.