John Kleckner
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hejibits.com
John Kleckner
@hejibits.com
740 followers 130 following 2.2K posts
comic friend (he/they)

🏷️ #comic #animation #art
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hejibits.com
I always knew Cave Story got fucked, but not like this

(finally setting up my profile on Backloggd)
Backloggd screenshot of the 'Log a Game' search field for 'cave story', returning results for 'Cave Story (2004)', 'Cave Story+ (2011)', 'Cave Story 3D (2011)', 'Cave Story MD (2019)', and 'Cave Story Sex RPG 2007 (2021)'
December 28, 2025 at 1:44 AM
hejibits.com
I don't wanna brag, but this year I bought a Steam game on sale and finished it before it got cheaper in the next Steam sale
December 19, 2025 at 1:27 AM
hejibits.com
anybody want to slam a couple brewskis with my Steam account
Steam profile screenshot of my '21 Years of Service' badge
December 16, 2025 at 8:27 PM
hejibits.com
there's something in the water in Kalos
Pokémon X/Y screenshot of a trainer defeat screen, with the trainer saying "Wow! You and your Pokémon's power levels are incredible! They're over 9,000 for sure!" Pokémon Legends: Z-A screenshot of my player character talking to an opposing trainer Felina, saying "I can has Pokémon battle?" The dialogue response options are "Purr..." and "Hisss!"
December 14, 2025 at 8:17 PM
hejibits.com
and I’m from Paris (pronounced in French like ‘parry’)

Single-image mirror (thanks Blue 'no gifs in photosets' sky): imgur.com/26ZRDp0

#comic (1/2)
Panel 1: In a comic depiction of Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, Gustave appears over-the-shoulder on screen-left, noticing me fighting a mime in an underwater-like environment. Gustave says, "Another Expeditioner!" Panel 2: In a medium shot, I turn to face Gustave with a confident expression, pointing a thumbs-up toward myself. I respond, "Oui. I am J'ohn, the parry master. I'm here to defeat The Paintress." Panel 3: In a reverse shot, Gustave stands alongside Maelle and Lune. Gustave says, "A skilled fighter! We could use his expertise on the journey ahead". Maelle looks toward Gustave with a mild smile, and Lune looks at me with a skeptical expression. Panel 4: Returning to the shot from Panel 1, Gustave and I exchange confident thumbs up. Meanwhile, the mime raises a single, enlarged fist.
December 13, 2025 at 8:01 PM
hejibits.com
It's Thursday night, December 11. The Game Awards orchestra is weaving a beautiful medley of songs from each of this year's GOTY nominees. The audience is overcome with emotion hearing the chorus of Clair Obsc--ZEBRA ZEBRA ZEBRA ZEBRA
December 10, 2025 at 6:42 PM
hejibits.com
thinking about the Pokémon OCs my friend and I made in 2nd grade (he made Mrs. Boobs)
Crude drawing of Mr. Crime, who looks like Mr. Mime but with prison stripes. His moves are Steal, Grab, Wrap, and Yell Crude drawing of Mrs. Boobs, an evil-looking monster with huge naturals and arrow-like appendages
December 8, 2025 at 9:43 PM
hejibits.com
cool game
Product image for a Switch 2 mouse grip, with a guy playing two fake AI slop games on two vertically-oriented desktop monitors with two Joy-Con 2 controllers Zoomed-in crop of the AI slop games, two FPS games featuring incomprehensible guns held up by incomprehensible finger meat
December 7, 2025 at 2:21 AM
hejibits.com
watching this week's My Hero Academia and that's, that's an Alphys Undertale
Screenshot from My Hero Academia S08E08 featuring a crowd of UA student extras, among which is a student who looks remarkably similar to Alphys from Undertale
December 3, 2025 at 4:27 AM
hejibits.com
KC Green illustration of a frog with sunglasses and a backwards baseball cap, saying "QUIT GETTIN' MAD AT VIDEO GAMES' review scores"
December 2, 2025 at 6:39 PM
hejibits.com
you can tell AI is the future when the only way to boost engagement is by tricking users into clicking on it ('continue' and 'try it now' both open the Gemini sidebar)
Google Sheets pop-up saying "Uncover deeper data insights: Ask Gemini to analyze spreadsheet data, calculate metrics, and generate charts to reveal hidden patterns and trends." At the bottom there are two buttons for 'Continue' and 'Try it now', which are functionally identical
December 2, 2025 at 2:20 AM
hejibits.com
Dr. Pepper Ten was kind of ahead of its time, considering today's political climate
Advertisement for Dr. Pepper Ten. 10 bold tasting calories, it's not for women.
December 1, 2025 at 8:00 PM
hejibits.com
I think Kirby Air Riders (City Trial specifically) is the first time I've ever had fun playing a game online with randos
November 29, 2025 at 7:07 AM
hejibits.com
unlocked the Lanky Kong statue
November 28, 2025 at 4:10 AM
hejibits.com
turned my famous ghosts into Kirby Air Riders machines

sources for the uninitiated:
Hejibits #014 - Scuba Entei: imgur.com/7K9ebaS
Hejibits #085 - Haunted Humor: imgur.com/9DWAkZ7
Image of a Kirby Air Riders machine modeled after my 'Haunter used Mean Look' comic panel. The machine ID is MPFBP8BS Image of a Kirby Air Riders machine modeled after my 'Haunted Humor' punchline comic panel. The machine ID is M3XF0DNC
November 26, 2025 at 7:02 PM
hejibits.com
big year for hostile benches
Hollow Knight: Silksong screenshot of Hornet sitting at a trap bench, about to get got Pokémon Legends Z-A screenshot of a trainer character standing next to an anti-homeless bench
November 23, 2025 at 1:26 AM
hejibits.com
try Drill Run next time

#comic
Panel 1: In a comic depiction of Pokémon Legends: Z-A, a trainer and her Ampharos are facing off against me and Excadrill on a rooftop at night. The scene is very zoomed out, but close-up cutaway panels show Ampharos and Excadrill’s determined expressions. Panel 2: With my arm outstretched I yell, "EXCADRILL, USE DIG!" Excadrill is seen leaping in the air about to plunge into the ground. Panel 3: In a seemingly unrelated scene, a family of four is enjoying a dinner of Croissant Curry. Panel 4: Excadrill bursts from the ceiling, drilling through the table into the ground below. The family erupts in panic, falling back in their chairs as the room falls apart around them.
November 19, 2025 at 7:03 PM
hejibits.com
#comic
hejibits.com John Kleckner @hejibits.com · Nov 8
shoulda sprung for the Rotom phone with water resistance
Panel 1: In a comic depiction of Pokémon Legends: Z-A, Feraligatr and I are hiding behind a bush on a rooftop. We are sneaking up on our next opponent in the Z-A Royale, a trainer in a varsity jacket and a Charmander, who are also searching for an opponent. Panel 2: Feraligatr and I emerge from the bush, and with my arm outstretched I yell, "FERALIGATR, USE SURF!" Feraligatr responds "FEH!", and assumes a combat stance. Panel 3: Feraligatr summons a wave of water and pushes it towards our foes, flailing their arms in surprise as they are caught in a preemptive strike. Watching from a distance, I pump my fist in a moment of celebration. Panel 4: The wave of water subsides, but the trainer and Charmander are nowhere to be found. Feraligatr and I reel back in horror, realizing the consequences of our actions. Panel 5: In an up-shot of the building we were standing on, Feraligatr and I peer nervously over the edge of the building at the ground below. Panel 6: In an over-the-shoulder shot of Feraligatr and I looking down at the ground below, we see that the trainer and Charmander are lying motionless in a puddle on the sidewalk at ground level. Charmander's tail has also lost its flame, because my depravity knows no bounds.
November 19, 2025 at 7:02 PM
hejibits.com
#pogo Wild Area 2025 Haul (and a shiny Lickitung I found in my driveway today)
Pokémon Go screenshot showing a collection of shiny & perfect Pokémon caught recently
November 18, 2025 at 12:03 AM
hejibits.com
I don't have much to say about the Mario Galaxy movie but...why did they give Bowser Jr. pink eye
Screenshot from The Super Mario Galaxy Movie of Bowser Jr. scheming with pink eye
November 12, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Reposted by John Kleckner
ixnoah.live
In Super Mario Galaxy, the stars on the letters of the logo spell "u r mr gay", while for the movie it says "he mr gay". This is because you are watching Mario, not playing him.
November 12, 2025 at 2:15 PM
hejibits.com
AI is the future
Screenshot of the Facebook photo upload screen's 'Alternative text' menu, which says "Use generated alt text for this photo or add custom alt text:" and the generated alt text is "May be a doodle"
November 8, 2025 at 8:14 PM
hejibits.com
shoulda sprung for the Rotom phone with water resistance
Panel 1: In a comic depiction of Pokémon Legends: Z-A, Feraligatr and I are hiding behind a bush on a rooftop. We are sneaking up on our next opponent in the Z-A Royale, a trainer in a varsity jacket and a Charmander, who are also searching for an opponent. Panel 2: Feraligatr and I emerge from the bush, and with my arm outstretched I yell, "FERALIGATR, USE SURF!" Feraligatr responds "FEH!", and assumes a combat stance. Panel 3: Feraligatr summons a wave of water and pushes it towards our foes, flailing their arms in surprise as they are caught in a preemptive strike. Watching from a distance, I pump my fist in a moment of celebration. Panel 4: The wave of water subsides, but the trainer and Charmander are nowhere to be found. Feraligatr and I reel back in horror, realizing the consequences of our actions. Panel 5: In an up-shot of the building we were standing on, Feraligatr and I peer nervously over the edge of the building at the ground below. Panel 6: In an over-the-shoulder shot of Feraligatr and I looking down at the ground below, we see that the trainer and Charmander are lying motionless in a puddle on the sidewalk at ground level. Charmander's tail has also lost its flame, because my depravity knows no bounds.
November 8, 2025 at 8:02 PM
hejibits.com
(4 years later) ohh I get it. 'seedy' bagel
Deltarune screenshot of a text box reading "* (CD Bagel was added to your ITEMs.)"
November 8, 2025 at 7:13 PM
hejibits.com
#comic
hejibits.com John Kleckner @hejibits.com · Oct 27
thought my dad was cool for a second
In a black-and-white pencil-style comic, my dad and I are sitting in a public area. My dad is glancing at his phone, and says "hey John, do you know about dabbing?" I glance toward him and reply "yeah" I strike a seated dab pose, impressing many women off-screen. My dad, however, is puzzled My dab pose softens, and I nervously glance at my dad to gauge his reaction My dad lowers his phone and throws an explanatory hand gesture, saying "I meant like with weed". My posture shrinks, hands clasped, and I respond "oh"
November 7, 2025 at 10:09 PM