old man boywife
@groceries.bsky.social
be the freak you wanna see
just don't follow me
*but actually don't follow me or I'll block you*
queer - any/all
DNI if you exist.
just don't follow me
*but actually don't follow me or I'll block you*
queer - any/all
DNI if you exist.
My god. Yesterday it was orange and pretty outside and all of the leaves turned grey and fell off OVERNIGHT.
November 13, 2025 at 11:07 PM
My god. Yesterday it was orange and pretty outside and all of the leaves turned grey and fell off OVERNIGHT.
I don't HAVE a joke to make about this so I'll just say it: I trained the fuck out of my glute meds for no reason and now my butt is the weirdest it has ever looked. I grew my hips multiple inches. Like several. For WHAT. For what?? For no reason?????
November 13, 2025 at 7:41 PM
I don't HAVE a joke to make about this so I'll just say it: I trained the fuck out of my glute meds for no reason and now my butt is the weirdest it has ever looked. I grew my hips multiple inches. Like several. For WHAT. For what?? For no reason?????
Reposted by old man boywife
As of this morning, Starbucks workers across the country are officially ON STRIKE. And we're prepared for this to become the biggest and longest ULP strike in Starbucks history.
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
November 13, 2025 at 11:33 AM
As of this morning, Starbucks workers across the country are officially ON STRIKE. And we're prepared for this to become the biggest and longest ULP strike in Starbucks history.
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX
"every drug store shampoo causes hair loss suddenly!" "everything tastes weird now, they're adding chemicals to the food!" "candle brands are skimping on the fragrance wtf"
bro how many times have you had covid
bro how many times have you had covid
November 12, 2025 at 5:04 PM
"every drug store shampoo causes hair loss suddenly!" "everything tastes weird now, they're adding chemicals to the food!" "candle brands are skimping on the fragrance wtf"
bro how many times have you had covid
bro how many times have you had covid
Exactly exactly
No actually yeah you're right @groceries.bsky.social it IS possible that Ronald Reagan could have gifted a chimpanzee to Adolf Hitler. The dates line up.
November 12, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Exactly exactly
40 degree temperature swing this week, what could possibly go wrong
November 11, 2025 at 3:19 PM
40 degree temperature swing this week, what could possibly go wrong
Me: I have this weird symptom
Doctor: ummmm, that's a weird symptom
Me: ok I take it back
Doctor: ummmm, that's a weird symptom
Me: ok I take it back
November 11, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Me: I have this weird symptom
Doctor: ummmm, that's a weird symptom
Me: ok I take it back
Doctor: ummmm, that's a weird symptom
Me: ok I take it back
Reposted by old man boywife
Every day it feels like I'm being asked to solve riddles written by a bird and everyone is like "yeah, the bird riddles, the ones we solve every day?? the normal thing we all do????"
November 10, 2025 at 5:28 AM
Every day it feels like I'm being asked to solve riddles written by a bird and everyone is like "yeah, the bird riddles, the ones we solve every day?? the normal thing we all do????"
Every day it feels like I'm being asked to solve riddles written by a bird and everyone is like "yeah, the bird riddles, the ones we solve every day?? the normal thing we all do????"
November 10, 2025 at 5:28 AM
Every day it feels like I'm being asked to solve riddles written by a bird and everyone is like "yeah, the bird riddles, the ones we solve every day?? the normal thing we all do????"
Whoever named it the nervous system was really onto something
November 10, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Whoever named it the nervous system was really onto something
Complimenting my partner by saying "that goat you pet earlier is definitely going to remember you"
November 9, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Complimenting my partner by saying "that goat you pet earlier is definitely going to remember you"
Someone stole two 20lb dumbbells from the gym which sucks but is objectively funny to picture
November 7, 2025 at 8:35 PM
Someone stole two 20lb dumbbells from the gym which sucks but is objectively funny to picture
Technically I should increase my tolerance to bullshit but I REALLY shouldn't have to.
November 7, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Technically I should increase my tolerance to bullshit but I REALLY shouldn't have to.
Genuinely going on an email rampage that will either get me in trouble or fix all of my shit.
November 6, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Genuinely going on an email rampage that will either get me in trouble or fix all of my shit.
Reposted by old man boywife
Sweeney Teeny
The Deemy Beeby of Fleeby Streeby
The Deemy Beeby of Fleeby Streeby
November 6, 2025 at 1:22 AM
Sweeney Teeny
The Deemy Beeby of Fleeby Streeby
The Deemy Beeby of Fleeby Streeby
Come to my house I will diagnose you with oral allergy syndrome
November 5, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Come to my house I will diagnose you with oral allergy syndrome
Would you use your toothbrush to clean a tooth that was removed from your head? Or is that gross once it's not part of your mouth anymore?
November 4, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Would you use your toothbrush to clean a tooth that was removed from your head? Or is that gross once it's not part of your mouth anymore?
I'm almost certain my vibe isn't "responds well to jokey demands and faux outrage from strangers" but here we are.
November 3, 2025 at 4:28 PM
I'm almost certain my vibe isn't "responds well to jokey demands and faux outrage from strangers" but here we are.
My neighbor is getting arrested and my phone won't stop playing a video of ashnikko talking about a piece of chewed gum wrapped in a receipt for multiple dildos
November 1, 2025 at 8:35 PM
My neighbor is getting arrested and my phone won't stop playing a video of ashnikko talking about a piece of chewed gum wrapped in a receipt for multiple dildos
I guess I should mention I'm on a corticosteroid I'm irritable and hostile but I'm also correct. Just louder about it.
November 1, 2025 at 4:14 PM
I guess I should mention I'm on a corticosteroid I'm irritable and hostile but I'm also correct. Just louder about it.
I just watched THE cliche of a greasy gamer man in cargo shorts and triforce tshirt come into the gym, swing weights around haphazardly for nine minutes, somehow hitting every corner of the gym, and leave without wiping down a single piece of equipment. You...can't.
November 1, 2025 at 3:48 PM
I just watched THE cliche of a greasy gamer man in cargo shorts and triforce tshirt come into the gym, swing weights around haphazardly for nine minutes, somehow hitting every corner of the gym, and leave without wiping down a single piece of equipment. You...can't.
I have mostly stopped complaining about my apartment gym on here but just know nothing has improved and some things have actually gotten worse 👍
October 30, 2025 at 7:26 PM
I have mostly stopped complaining about my apartment gym on here but just know nothing has improved and some things have actually gotten worse 👍
Everyone pray QUICKLY that I don't wake up to a bradycardia episode PLEASE
October 30, 2025 at 4:28 AM
Everyone pray QUICKLY that I don't wake up to a bradycardia episode PLEASE
Np: so you're on naltrexone?
Me: yeah
Np: AND Meloxicam??
Me: is that bad?
Np: yeah you're really not supposed to take ibuprofen with Meloxicam.
Me: okay???
Me: yeah
Np: AND Meloxicam??
Me: is that bad?
Np: yeah you're really not supposed to take ibuprofen with Meloxicam.
Me: okay???
October 29, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Np: so you're on naltrexone?
Me: yeah
Np: AND Meloxicam??
Me: is that bad?
Np: yeah you're really not supposed to take ibuprofen with Meloxicam.
Me: okay???
Me: yeah
Np: AND Meloxicam??
Me: is that bad?
Np: yeah you're really not supposed to take ibuprofen with Meloxicam.
Me: okay???
