Girlwonder
@girlwonder.bsky.social
Chief Justice of Bluesky and Twitter. Send your craft beers with limited regional availability to women. “That lady said wiener!” I’m fucking awesome.
My mom likes to remind me every year of what a talented child I was.
December 5, 2025 at 8:27 PM
My mom likes to remind me every year of what a talented child I was.
Opposing counsel stood me up for a meeting which is incredibly annoying but also really great because it feels like I’ve got an hour of unexpected free time.
December 3, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Opposing counsel stood me up for a meeting which is incredibly annoying but also really great because it feels like I’ve got an hour of unexpected free time.
Me, to the Vikings: I love you but, right now, I don’t like you very much.
November 30, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Me, to the Vikings: I love you but, right now, I don’t like you very much.
Reposted by Girlwonder
Also, the decision to go for it there was monumentally stupid. I don’t give a shit that going for it is trendy. You’re 4-7, playing away, and your team has held one of the better teams in the league to 3 points. Tie it up, you dumb fucks.
November 30, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Also, the decision to go for it there was monumentally stupid. I don’t give a shit that going for it is trendy. You’re 4-7, playing away, and your team has held one of the better teams in the league to 3 points. Tie it up, you dumb fucks.
My knee jerk reaction was to simply turn the tv off. I didn’t even realize the remote was anywhere near me.
November 30, 2025 at 10:05 PM
My knee jerk reaction was to simply turn the tv off. I didn’t even realize the remote was anywhere near me.
Nothing better to cap off a four-day holiday weekend than watching your crappy team with its third string QB take on one of the better teams with the QB your team let go after he shit the bed in the playoffs last year.
November 30, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Nothing better to cap off a four-day holiday weekend than watching your crappy team with its third string QB take on one of the better teams with the QB your team let go after he shit the bed in the playoffs last year.
Picking up my mom at the dentist like the good and dutiful daughter I am and they are playing the kind of music in the waiting room where it’s hard to tell whether the singer is stalking a crush or is inappropriately sexualizing Jesus.
November 26, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Picking up my mom at the dentist like the good and dutiful daughter I am and they are playing the kind of music in the waiting room where it’s hard to tell whether the singer is stalking a crush or is inappropriately sexualizing Jesus.
Reposted by Girlwonder
In lieu of thanksgiving I suggest holding a sort of family court convicting your most annoying relatives of various offenses
November 26, 2025 at 6:32 PM
In lieu of thanksgiving I suggest holding a sort of family court convicting your most annoying relatives of various offenses
Me on zoom when a client tells me that they heard my advice not to do something but are gonna go ahead and do it.
a man in a suit and tie is sitting in front of a blue screen
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting in front of a blue screen
media.tenor.com
November 26, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Me on zoom when a client tells me that they heard my advice not to do something but are gonna go ahead and do it.
*Fargo voice* Oh, yeah, it would. You betcha.
November 25, 2025 at 12:20 AM
*Fargo voice* Oh, yeah, it would. You betcha.
Reposted by Girlwonder
maybe i am going insane
November 24, 2025 at 6:49 PM
maybe i am going insane
Today: Kevin O’Connell announces that he has placed JJ McCarthy in the concussion protocol.
Tomorrow: Kevin O’Connell announces that he has, unfortunately, lost JJ McCarthy in the concussion protocol. Oops!
Tomorrow: Kevin O’Connell announces that he has, unfortunately, lost JJ McCarthy in the concussion protocol. Oops!
November 24, 2025 at 11:28 PM
Today: Kevin O’Connell announces that he has placed JJ McCarthy in the concussion protocol.
Tomorrow: Kevin O’Connell announces that he has, unfortunately, lost JJ McCarthy in the concussion protocol. Oops!
Tomorrow: Kevin O’Connell announces that he has, unfortunately, lost JJ McCarthy in the concussion protocol. Oops!
Just another day of being professional at the home office.
November 24, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Just another day of being professional at the home office.
*googles QBs 2026 draft* lol
*googles FA QBs 2026* lmao
*googles FA QBs 2026* lmao
a man stands in front of a white board with the words there is no escaping
ALT: a man stands in front of a white board with the words there is no escaping
media.tenor.com
November 23, 2025 at 8:34 PM
*googles QBs 2026 draft* lol
*googles FA QBs 2026* lmao
*googles FA QBs 2026* lmao
He’s been standing over him like this for a full two minutes.
November 23, 2025 at 1:47 AM
He’s been standing over him like this for a full two minutes.
I swear to fucking god there needs to be doggy daycare etiquette training for humans.
November 22, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I swear to fucking god there needs to be doggy daycare etiquette training for humans.
Reposted by Girlwonder
My "her life is not in danger" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
Trump: "Marjorie Traitor Greene -- I don't think her life is in danger. Frankly, I don't think anybody cares about her."
November 17, 2025 at 12:40 AM
My "her life is not in danger" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
Watching Red Zone and I am convinced that there are no objectively good teams this season. Some are better than others, some are worse, but they’re all objectively bad.
November 16, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Watching Red Zone and I am convinced that there are no objectively good teams this season. Some are better than others, some are worse, but they’re all objectively bad.
Spain gave us José Andrés and this is how we repay them????
November 16, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Spain gave us José Andrés and this is how we repay them????
Same, Frog. Same. #pnwproblems
“You must have been tired,” said Toad.
“I was tired,” said Frog, “and it started to rain.”
“I was tired,” said Frog, “and it started to rain.”
November 15, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Same, Frog. Same. #pnwproblems
I know it’s fun to think it’s Clinton, but it’s clearly Bubba the Love Sponge.
November 15, 2025 at 6:38 AM
I know it’s fun to think it’s Clinton, but it’s clearly Bubba the Love Sponge.
Reposted by Girlwonder
Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes.
Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.
Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.
November 12, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes.
Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.
Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.