Matt Pollock
@freshmattyp.bsky.social
Emotional Support Husband
Built for comfort, not for speed.
Built for comfort, not for speed.
Pinned
Matt Pollock
@freshmattyp.bsky.social
· Jan 11
Look, I love Drag Race but I really was not expecting hairy ass during the runway.
Ewwwww.
Ewwwww.
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you’ve seen:
Social Distortion
Junior Brown
Reverend Horton Heat
Big Sandy and His Fly-Rite Boys
Los Straitjackets
Social Distortion
Junior Brown
Reverend Horton Heat
Big Sandy and His Fly-Rite Boys
Los Straitjackets
5 concerts I’ve seen
Marty Stuart
Rancid/Bad Religion
Dwight Yoakum and Willie Nelson
Nelly Furtado
The Pogues
Marty Stuart
Rancid/Bad Religion
Dwight Yoakum and Willie Nelson
Nelly Furtado
The Pogues
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you’ve seen:
Senses Fail
SeeYouSpaceCowboy
My Chemical Romance
Taking Back Sunday
Better Lovers
Senses Fail
SeeYouSpaceCowboy
My Chemical Romance
Taking Back Sunday
Better Lovers
November 28, 2025 at 7:11 AM
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you’ve seen:
Social Distortion
Junior Brown
Reverend Horton Heat
Big Sandy and His Fly-Rite Boys
Los Straitjackets
Social Distortion
Junior Brown
Reverend Horton Heat
Big Sandy and His Fly-Rite Boys
Los Straitjackets
You’ve just died. The 6th picture in your gallery is what killed you.
November 28, 2025 at 7:01 AM
You’ve just died. The 6th picture in your gallery is what killed you.
In one month I’ll be 60.
November 28, 2025 at 6:59 AM
In one month I’ll be 60.
I consider this my finest tweet
November 27, 2025 at 10:46 PM
I consider this my finest tweet
Every time this picture comes up in my facebook memories it makes me both happy and sad. Happy we caught all the cousins together, and sad that we haven't gotten together the last 5 years since my dad passed and my mom sold the big house.
Happy Thanksgiving, friends.
Happy Thanksgiving, friends.
November 26, 2025 at 11:15 PM
Every time this picture comes up in my facebook memories it makes me both happy and sad. Happy we caught all the cousins together, and sad that we haven't gotten together the last 5 years since my dad passed and my mom sold the big house.
Happy Thanksgiving, friends.
Happy Thanksgiving, friends.
My tik tok streak with my daughter just hit 300 days, so I’m apparently killing this parenting gig.
November 26, 2025 at 4:37 PM
My tik tok streak with my daughter just hit 300 days, so I’m apparently killing this parenting gig.
Goodbye Green Bean Casserole. I will miss finishing the fried onions my mom didn’t use.
with charity and goodwill, i must here part ways with rolls.
November 25, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Goodbye Green Bean Casserole. I will miss finishing the fried onions my mom didn’t use.
This is what I miss the most about the big Thanksgiving my parents used to host.
November 24, 2025 at 9:13 PM
This is what I miss the most about the big Thanksgiving my parents used to host.
All the dude ever wanted was his rug back, man. It really tied the room together.
a man in a robe sits on a toilet in a bathroom with a floral wallpaper
ALT: a man in a robe sits on a toilet in a bathroom with a floral wallpaper
media.tenor.com
November 24, 2025 at 8:42 PM
All the dude ever wanted was his rug back, man. It really tied the room together.
A movie that takes place (in part) where you’re from
November 24, 2025 at 3:53 AM
A movie that takes place (in part) where you’re from
Tattaglia's a pimp, he never could have out-fought Santino... but I didn't know until this day... it was Barzini all along, Charlie Brown.
This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Charlie Brown
Nobody trusts anyone anymore, Charlie Brown
November 24, 2025 at 3:38 AM
Tattaglia's a pimp, he never could have out-fought Santino... but I didn't know until this day... it was Barzini all along, Charlie Brown.
Jesus was a good guy
He didn't need this shit
So he took a pill with a Coca-Cola
And he swallowed it
He discovered the Beatles
And he recorded with The Stones
Once he even opened up a three-way package
For old George Jones
He didn't need this shit
So he took a pill with a Coca-Cola
And he swallowed it
He discovered the Beatles
And he recorded with The Stones
Once he even opened up a three-way package
For old George Jones
November 23, 2025 at 6:44 AM
Jesus was a good guy
He didn't need this shit
So he took a pill with a Coca-Cola
And he swallowed it
He discovered the Beatles
And he recorded with The Stones
Once he even opened up a three-way package
For old George Jones
He didn't need this shit
So he took a pill with a Coca-Cola
And he swallowed it
He discovered the Beatles
And he recorded with The Stones
Once he even opened up a three-way package
For old George Jones
This screams maître d at a suburban French Bistro in a converted Hardees where everything is microwaved.
November 21, 2025 at 11:02 PM
This screams maître d at a suburban French Bistro in a converted Hardees where everything is microwaved.
On the Durango to Silverton Mountain Gauge Railroad. I got food poisoning the night before but didn't want to miss this part of the trip. I puked down several switchbacks in the outdoor observation car.
0 stars. Do not recommend
0 stars. Do not recommend
what's the most exotic place you've ever puked? mine's not exactly exotic but i did once have a hangover at the nyc facebook office and barfed in their very nice bathroom
Got food poisoning from Fogo De Chao. Puked out the side of a moving cab along beautiful Copacabana Beach. The most exotic place I'll probably ever puke!
November 21, 2025 at 10:41 PM
On the Durango to Silverton Mountain Gauge Railroad. I got food poisoning the night before but didn't want to miss this part of the trip. I puked down several switchbacks in the outdoor observation car.
0 stars. Do not recommend
0 stars. Do not recommend
I feel like I've been transported to that episode of Black Mirror where time moves at 1000 years per minute because there's no way it's still Wednesday.
November 19, 2025 at 6:42 PM
I feel like I've been transported to that episode of Black Mirror where time moves at 1000 years per minute because there's no way it's still Wednesday.
Olive the tattoo vs Olive the cat.
My daughter did a thing this weekend.
My daughter did a thing this weekend.
November 16, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Olive the tattoo vs Olive the cat.
My daughter did a thing this weekend.
My daughter did a thing this weekend.
Grateful as I am for the day off yesterday, this second Monday BS is uncalled for.
a man sitting in a chair with the words " this agression will not stand man " on the bottom
ALT: a man sitting in a chair with the words " this agression will not stand man " on the bottom
media.tenor.com
November 12, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Grateful as I am for the day off yesterday, this second Monday BS is uncalled for.
This has been the monday-est Monday that ever Monday-ed.
November 10, 2025 at 11:16 PM
This has been the monday-est Monday that ever Monday-ed.
post you from a different era
November 8, 2025 at 2:39 AM
post you from a different era
A movie you've seen more than seven times with a gif.
November 3, 2025 at 4:35 PM
A movie you've seen more than seven times with a gif.
Olive shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo
October 31, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Olive shark, doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo
I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
October 31, 2025 at 7:33 PM
I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
Is it appropriate to begin business correspondence with “Dear sniveling shitweasel, read the goddamn email I sent you not 15 minutes ago.”
I’m about ready to punch this asshole in his fat face.
I’m about ready to punch this asshole in his fat face.
October 22, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Is it appropriate to begin business correspondence with “Dear sniveling shitweasel, read the goddamn email I sent you not 15 minutes ago.”
I’m about ready to punch this asshole in his fat face.
I’m about ready to punch this asshole in his fat face.