emily tells flat jokes
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flatjokes.bsky.social
emily tells flat jokes
@flatjokes.bsky.social
gettin thru it with gladness and singleness of heart • she/her/hers • https://linktr.ee/uniquejargon
Getting on a call and immediately announcing that you have a hard stop at whatever time is such a baller move
October 28, 2025 at 1:54 PM
I feel like the act of making art is both the most isolating activity and the activity that grafts us most to the rest of humanity
October 11, 2025 at 2:38 PM
@alexsteed.bsky.social My childhood “crush” on Eddie Vedder consisted of me fantasizing that he was my adult older brother from a previous marriage of one of my parents and that he would stick up for me. So yea your thing about Jem being your aunt makes absolute and utter sense to me.
October 5, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Someone on Goodreads gave a collection of meditations based on the writings of Meister Eckhart one star because he says God too much

Goodbye I am done
September 25, 2025 at 4:19 PM
I hate AI so much. Like you don’t even know
September 16, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Hey Memphis pals, remember to take note of who aids and abets the NG during the occupation of our city. Remember that the best way to fight your fear is to organize and do something.
September 16, 2025 at 1:29 PM
Reposted by emily tells flat jokes
Memphis’s state rep responds to impending occupation.
September 12, 2025 at 2:52 PM
I’m gonna need to make another anonymous social media account where I can say aloud all the inside thoughts, aren’t I
September 8, 2025 at 11:55 PM
My fave thing about the 90s is that the Crash Test Dummies had a hit song and no one batted an eye about it
September 1, 2025 at 12:20 AM
Who wants to be my Gen X comfort cousin?
September 1, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Siri how to have chill?
August 31, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Reposted by emily tells flat jokes
Please have a perfect day ok?
August 26, 2025 at 3:45 PM
I miss everything
August 26, 2025 at 4:38 PM
It’s been a hard day so this evening I am having a couple drinks and listening to @yourewrongabout.bsky.social and goddamnit if Sarah Marshall isn’t the best person ever. She is the equivalent of your cool older cousin
August 20, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Duo Lingo just gave me a passage to translate that said Pittsburgh is the Venice of the United States
a close up of a woman wearing a blue coat and earrings .
ALT: a close up of a woman wearing a blue coat and earrings .
media.tenor.com
August 15, 2025 at 5:50 PM
I wish I loved anything as much as chatgpt loves sprinkling emojis into text
August 7, 2025 at 1:12 PM
Who did the Clark Tower’s branding and why did they just ctrl+c Kraftwerk
August 5, 2025 at 6:41 PM
My Besfrinn Cameron wrote this and it’s beautiful and you should read it

www.jesuits.org/stories/st-i...
St. Ignatius, Stargazing and the Spiritual Life - Jesuits.org
Although St. Ignatius wasn’t an astronomer, the spiritual life and the cosmos have always been intertwined in the Jesuit tradition.
www.jesuits.org
August 5, 2025 at 1:41 PM
Why on earth would you choose to be a cop when you could be a firefighter
August 5, 2025 at 12:54 PM
There are not enough hours in the day for me to hate ai
August 4, 2025 at 3:04 PM
“Death is largely a threat to those who have not yet lived their life.” -Richard Rohr
August 1, 2025 at 5:50 PM
I don’t want a cashback offer

I want children in Gaza to be fed
July 28, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Y’all I was just on a call and only half paying attention, and when another person said they needed to get off a few minutes early and everyone was saying bye to them, I thought the call was over and I logged off too. A split second later I realized it wasn’t over. I didn’t get back on tho 💀
July 21, 2025 at 7:45 PM
I am not being hyperbolic when I say that using ChatGPT as a productivity tool only made my life worse.

The “speed of business” is unsustainable and harmful.
July 16, 2025 at 1:54 PM
It smells like Florida when the tide has just come in in downtown Memphis rn 🤢
July 7, 2025 at 5:24 PM