Fern ♡
@fernyfern.bsky.social
An absolute master class of a human being.
Pinned
Fern ♡
@fernyfern.bsky.social
· Jan 26
Accidentally opened my front facing camera. A humbling experience.
Reposted by Fern ♡
I can’t join ICE because I once gave a woman an orgasm 😔
January 9, 2026 at 2:07 PM
I can’t join ICE because I once gave a woman an orgasm 😔
I don't use twitter generally, but once every few months I log into my shitposting account to tell Elon to shut up and fuck off and die. Very valid use of my time.
Anyway, I popped on there yesterday and saw Asmongold being foul about Renee Good, saying she deserved to be murdered, etc.
Anyway, I popped on there yesterday and saw Asmongold being foul about Renee Good, saying she deserved to be murdered, etc.
January 9, 2026 at 1:13 PM
I don't use twitter generally, but once every few months I log into my shitposting account to tell Elon to shut up and fuck off and die. Very valid use of my time.
Anyway, I popped on there yesterday and saw Asmongold being foul about Renee Good, saying she deserved to be murdered, etc.
Anyway, I popped on there yesterday and saw Asmongold being foul about Renee Good, saying she deserved to be murdered, etc.
Some people will say that 10:20 in the morning is too early for a massive bowl of mac n cheese. Do not listen.
January 9, 2026 at 10:22 AM
Some people will say that 10:20 in the morning is too early for a massive bowl of mac n cheese. Do not listen.
Reposted by Fern ♡
'Why can't I sleep?' I ask myself as I beam a bright light of anxiety inducing bullshit directly into my eyes via my phone.
December 24, 2024 at 11:25 PM
'Why can't I sleep?' I ask myself as I beam a bright light of anxiety inducing bullshit directly into my eyes via my phone.
I dunno chat, is it not a bit bleak that the best part of every day is going to bed? I wake up at 7 in the morning and from about 7:20 all I can think about the rest of the day is how much I can't fucking wait to go to sleep. It sustains me. Honestly it's the only thing that keeps me going.
January 8, 2026 at 10:05 PM
I dunno chat, is it not a bit bleak that the best part of every day is going to bed? I wake up at 7 in the morning and from about 7:20 all I can think about the rest of the day is how much I can't fucking wait to go to sleep. It sustains me. Honestly it's the only thing that keeps me going.
BUT WHY ARE YOU AMERICAN, KETHERIC THORM? MY IMMERSION!
January 8, 2026 at 8:42 PM
BUT WHY ARE YOU AMERICAN, KETHERIC THORM? MY IMMERSION!
A woman sitting in a car full of toys, surrounded by masked men with weapons, clearly panicking and reacting badly by trying to drive away, would never have been executed in any civilised society.
America sinks lower by the day under the current administration. Utterly reprehensible.
America sinks lower by the day under the current administration. Utterly reprehensible.
January 8, 2026 at 12:23 PM
A woman sitting in a car full of toys, surrounded by masked men with weapons, clearly panicking and reacting badly by trying to drive away, would never have been executed in any civilised society.
America sinks lower by the day under the current administration. Utterly reprehensible.
America sinks lower by the day under the current administration. Utterly reprehensible.
As a global community we really need to become far more anti-American. What the fuck are they even doing?
January 7, 2026 at 9:48 AM
As a global community we really need to become far more anti-American. What the fuck are they even doing?
My dog knocked a boiling hot cup of tea out of my hand and into my lap. The sudden pain made me feel a rush of pure rage and I kicked a door to express myself. Broke my toe. Couldn't stop laughing.
So dumb.
So dumb.
What's the most ridiculous way you ever hurt yourself? I got out of the tub, skidded in water and tripped over the toilet. Ankle sprain.
😅
😅
January 6, 2026 at 4:03 PM
My dog knocked a boiling hot cup of tea out of my hand and into my lap. The sudden pain made me feel a rush of pure rage and I kicked a door to express myself. Broke my toe. Couldn't stop laughing.
So dumb.
So dumb.
I simply cannot stop farting. My apologies.
January 6, 2026 at 3:55 PM
I simply cannot stop farting. My apologies.
Reposted by Fern ♡
A social network for figure skaters and ice hockey players, I’ll call it RinkedIn.
January 5, 2026 at 9:48 PM
A social network for figure skaters and ice hockey players, I’ll call it RinkedIn.
Nyehehehe I bought a new car and I like it a lot
January 3, 2026 at 9:01 AM
Nyehehehe I bought a new car and I like it a lot
The human torch was denied a bank loan.
January 2, 2026 at 4:48 PM
The human torch was denied a bank loan.
My new years resolution for 2026 is to threaten to knock someone's block off regularly
December 31, 2025 at 8:56 AM
My new years resolution for 2026 is to threaten to knock someone's block off regularly
I have reserved a new car for a test drive this weekend. Why are all cars boring colours now?
It's grey btw.
It's grey btw.
December 30, 2025 at 1:26 PM
I have reserved a new car for a test drive this weekend. Why are all cars boring colours now?
It's grey btw.
It's grey btw.
Botox should be 100% illegal in the film industry. Stop hiring actors that can't emote, it ruins the whole thing.
December 29, 2025 at 9:31 PM
Botox should be 100% illegal in the film industry. Stop hiring actors that can't emote, it ruins the whole thing.
The fucking ATTITUDE from this guy. Absolutely not.
December 28, 2025 at 9:58 AM
The fucking ATTITUDE from this guy. Absolutely not.
The grey grow out is still happening! I feel a bit self conscious about it every so often, but I think I quite like it overall.
December 27, 2025 at 8:38 PM
The grey grow out is still happening! I feel a bit self conscious about it every so often, but I think I quite like it overall.
I am a remorseless eating machine.
December 26, 2025 at 9:57 AM
I am a remorseless eating machine.
Chat, we did the right thing.
December 23, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Chat, we did the right thing.
I have finally admitted defeat and taken the car in to get checked out. Have a feeling Ferny Christmas will be cancelled this year, folks.
My car has started making a dodgy clunking sound when I go over bumps at low speed. My plan for dealing with it is to turn the music up and drive faster everywhere.
December 22, 2025 at 1:57 PM
I have finally admitted defeat and taken the car in to get checked out. Have a feeling Ferny Christmas will be cancelled this year, folks.
Reposted by Fern ♡
Fuck I love bedtime so much
October 10, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Fuck I love bedtime so much
Reposted by Fern ♡
🚨 Andrew Tate has been BATTERED and comprehensively beaten by a novice boxer, Chase DeMoor
December 20, 2025 at 11:49 PM
🚨 Andrew Tate has been BATTERED and comprehensively beaten by a novice boxer, Chase DeMoor
First Jake Paul and now Andrew Tate. This is the most wonderful Christmas I've ever had. What if this is a kind of reverse Harambe event where the tide turns and things become not totally shit again?
I shouldn't hope really, it'll only hurt me.
I shouldn't hope really, it'll only hurt me.
December 21, 2025 at 8:41 AM
First Jake Paul and now Andrew Tate. This is the most wonderful Christmas I've ever had. What if this is a kind of reverse Harambe event where the tide turns and things become not totally shit again?
I shouldn't hope really, it'll only hurt me.
I shouldn't hope really, it'll only hurt me.
We are tired. So tired.
December 20, 2025 at 11:29 AM
We are tired. So tired.