My first day in an actual office for years, we just got started, and I need to shit.
November 11, 2025 at 4:00 PM
My first day in an actual office for years, we just got started, and I need to shit.
"Crock Tales", Season 11, Episode 22
November 7, 2025 at 5:36 PM
"Crock Tales", Season 11, Episode 22
My mom cleaned out my childhood bedroom and threw away my Gordon Gartrell.
November 7, 2025 at 5:31 PM
My mom cleaned out my childhood bedroom and threw away my Gordon Gartrell.
We must go back.
yes and wasn't it a grand time
What people think they 80s were like versus what the 80s was actually like.
August 30, 2025 at 12:45 AM
We must go back.
I can't tweet this where it belongs because of the massive cyber attack, but I need it out there now:
Sitting in my kid's martial arts class. I have to shit, and my stomach just gurgled so loud that I may as well have just blasted ass during a very quiet demonstration.
Sitting in my kid's martial arts class. I have to shit, and my stomach just gurgled so loud that I may as well have just blasted ass during a very quiet demonstration.
March 10, 2025 at 11:40 PM
I can't tweet this where it belongs because of the massive cyber attack, but I need it out there now:
Sitting in my kid's martial arts class. I have to shit, and my stomach just gurgled so loud that I may as well have just blasted ass during a very quiet demonstration.
Sitting in my kid's martial arts class. I have to shit, and my stomach just gurgled so loud that I may as well have just blasted ass during a very quiet demonstration.
A WEIRD @alyankovic biopic sequel where he mistreats Victoria Jackson on the set of UHF the way Kubrick didn't do to Shelley Duvall.
February 3, 2025 at 4:15 PM
A WEIRD @alyankovic biopic sequel where he mistreats Victoria Jackson on the set of UHF the way Kubrick didn't do to Shelley Duvall.
Drinking for Dad at an Irish pub on his birthday. I've never actually seen MK: ANNIHILATION. What's the consensus on Lambert vs Remar?
January 30, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Drinking for Dad at an Irish pub on his birthday. I've never actually seen MK: ANNIHILATION. What's the consensus on Lambert vs Remar?
F: Zappa
A: Apocalyptica
R: Rush
R: R.E.M.
I: Indigo Girls
S: Spinal Tap
A: Apocalyptica
R: Rush
R: R.E.M.
I: Indigo Girls
S: Spinal Tap
B: Band, The
I: ???
L: [checks Wikipedia list of punk band names that begin with "L"] Love Equals Death
L: [ibid] Ludichrist
I: ???
L: [checks Wikipedia list of punk band names that begin with "L"] Love Equals Death
L: [ibid] Ludichrist
D: Danzig
A: Anthrax
N: Nazareth
N: Nerf Herder
Y: Yes
A: Anthrax
N: Nazareth
N: Nerf Herder
Y: Yes
January 28, 2025 at 5:58 PM
F: Zappa
A: Apocalyptica
R: Rush
R: R.E.M.
I: Indigo Girls
S: Spinal Tap
A: Apocalyptica
R: Rush
R: R.E.M.
I: Indigo Girls
S: Spinal Tap
I am buying a Kia on purpose. AMA.
January 28, 2025 at 5:53 PM
I am buying a Kia on purpose. AMA.
He has no idea what any of this means, but he's entranced and keeps reading it.
January 26, 2025 at 3:07 AM
He has no idea what any of this means, but he's entranced and keeps reading it.
My daughter loves when I pronounce it Chappelle (as in Dave) Ro-anne.
January 25, 2025 at 11:49 PM
My daughter loves when I pronounce it Chappelle (as in Dave) Ro-anne.
If the pharmacy closes while you're in line you are legally allowed to go in the back and take whatever pills you want.
January 25, 2025 at 11:46 PM
If the pharmacy closes while you're in line you are legally allowed to go in the back and take whatever pills you want.
I would use wake-words on devices a lot more if they were customizable. "Hey bitch, set a 6 minute pasta timer."
December 27, 2024 at 3:48 AM
I would use wake-words on devices a lot more if they were customizable. "Hey bitch, set a 6 minute pasta timer."
You will be visited by three spirits.
December 25, 2024 at 3:08 AM
You will be visited by three spirits.
Xmas gift from my FIL.
He knows too much.
He knows too much.
December 21, 2024 at 2:25 PM
Xmas gift from my FIL.
He knows too much.
He knows too much.
Advent calendars are proof that Jesus is one of those "it's my birthday month!" people.
December 12, 2024 at 6:21 PM
Advent calendars are proof that Jesus is one of those "it's my birthday month!" people.
This place doesn't seem like the right spot for my dick and fart joke catchall, but the old place is damn near useless now.
November 26, 2024 at 4:23 AM
This place doesn't seem like the right spot for my dick and fart joke catchall, but the old place is damn near useless now.
hey google put this on the tiktok
November 25, 2024 at 3:15 AM
hey google put this on the tiktok
bilbo meme about ordering pajama jeans
November 12, 2024 at 11:29 PM
bilbo meme about ordering pajama jeans
mf left me on read
November 7, 2024 at 3:47 AM
mf left me on read
I will pay one of you $15 to come to my house and add my friends on this app. I am so tired.
November 6, 2024 at 10:21 PM
I will pay one of you $15 to come to my house and add my friends on this app. I am so tired.
@crozierm.bsky.social I found you, you son of a bitch.
November 6, 2024 at 10:20 PM
@crozierm.bsky.social I found you, you son of a bitch.
What an enormous tit I am, bawling my precious, lifesaving fluids out to "Measure of a Man."
And I have to miss my daughter's choir concert tonight because of this fucking virus.
And I have to miss my daughter's choir concert tonight because of this fucking virus.
December 4, 2023 at 4:30 PM
What an enormous tit I am, bawling my precious, lifesaving fluids out to "Measure of a Man."
And I have to miss my daughter's choir concert tonight because of this fucking virus.
And I have to miss my daughter's choir concert tonight because of this fucking virus.
Literally just had the thought "this MacGyver episode is looney tunes" and then this motherfucker pulled a wile e coyote and tried to paint a fake wall to hide behind.
December 2, 2023 at 12:10 AM
Literally just had the thought "this MacGyver episode is looney tunes" and then this motherfucker pulled a wile e coyote and tried to paint a fake wall to hide behind.