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fakedispatch.bsky.social
Fake Dispatch
@fakedispatch.bsky.social
I am your resource for fake news that's real and real fake news.

Buy my book! https://www.amazon.com/Nobody-Told-Me-Passable-Parenting/dp/B0DHKZJTQB
Only the uneducated boo.
November 22, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Reposted by Fake Dispatch
The hellscape of the Hocking headwaters. The birthplace of our very own confederate crushing Gen. Wm. T. Sherman. The *other* Glass City. Lancaster!!!
November 22, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Reposted by Fake Dispatch
No solar panels. Only measles
November 22, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Name the only city that has a Max & Erma's and Rax.
November 21, 2025 at 11:40 PM
I am suing the Trump administration to have the name of the United States of America changed to, "Are You Fucking Kidding Me?"
November 19, 2025 at 6:23 PM
It's funny how some days you can just leap out of bed wide awake.
November 18, 2025 at 10:32 AM
Sex with me is like getting a gift from someone who finds something used from around their house, puts it in a Kroger bag, and then tells you what it is before you can open it.

Take a number, ladies.
November 16, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Me, "Why did Google give up Boolean searching?"
Google, "Because we now use a more advanced, concept-based algorithm that considers context, synonyms, and user intent, which is more user friendly."
Me, "Now give me the real answer."
Google, "We want to show you want we want, not what you want."
November 16, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Amazon reviews need to come with an age range for the reviewer. If someone has an issue with something, I want to be able to stereotype why they couldn't get it to work. Age ranges are:
13 - 30: young and dumb
31 - 54: overconfident
55: genius
56+: Boomer - doesn't understand tech / instructions
November 15, 2025 at 3:20 PM
I am old enough to use Bluesky.
November 13, 2025 at 3:26 PM
NOON GOD!
WE ARE OUR OWN WORST ENEMY.
WITH A BOOT ON OUR NECK, WE ARGUE WITH THE PERSON NEXT TO US ABOUT THE BOOT ON THEIR NECK.
BUT WHEN ONE IS ABLE TO SHED THE BOOT AND STANDS, HELP THE OTHERS TO STAND.
IN 2026, WE ALL NEED TO STAND TOGETHER.
TOGETHER!
NOON GOD CARES NOT.
NOON GOD IS SILENT.
November 12, 2025 at 5:04 PM
...now they call holding.
November 12, 2025 at 3:51 AM
Akron and Ohio getting screwed on the pass interference penalties.
November 12, 2025 at 2:27 AM
We thought getting rid of cable TV would save us money, but instead I'm going out four times a week to watch sporting events at the bar and drinking the equivalent of Max, Hulu, YouTube TV and Paramount subscriptions.
November 12, 2025 at 2:24 AM
Western Michigan University could just have had their quarterback run it into the post and saved their kicker the trouble. #Ohiou
November 12, 2025 at 1:57 AM
TrumpCare:
- must purchase crypto TrumpCareCoin to pay for insurance and services
- must pay for TrumpCareCoin with TrumpCoin
- injuries sustained by falls caused by rug pull not covered
November 11, 2025 at 2:34 PM
HEADLINE: Train crashes into semi due to weather.
FIXED HEADLINE: Semi blocking train tracks is hit by train because truck driver didn't know how to drive during weather.
November 11, 2025 at 12:49 AM
OpenAI: we will be #1 in AI and everyone will come to us.
Anthropic: we will be #1 in AI and everyone will come to us.
Meta: we will be #1 in AI and everyone will come to us.
Apple: we are waiting to see who will be #1 in AI and we will go to them.
November 6, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Cher, 79, explains why age has never been an issue between her and 39-year-old boyfriend Alexander Edwards:
"It's a mutual respect, eternal love, passion, long conversat... just kidding... it's money."
November 4, 2025 at 10:04 PM
FBI warns of criminals posing as ICE and says that if someone claims to be ICE and shows ID, they are not ICE.
November 4, 2025 at 9:57 PM
I'm going to vote. I am going to push those buttons with rage in my eyes, but kindness towards the chads of the past.
November 4, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Thanksgiving Travel:
You can leave on Wednesday afternoon and get there at 9am on Thursday or you can leave Thursday at 10am and get there at noon on Thursday.
November 4, 2025 at 3:17 AM
Also this weekend in Columbus, JB3Entertainment presents Acts of Pride, a short play showcase celebrating LGBTQIA voices through the power of live theatre. These original works explore identity, resistance, love, and liberation. movement.https://ci.ovationtix.com/35811/production/1254255
AudienceView Professional
ci.ovationtix.com
October 31, 2025 at 12:31 PM
If you are looking for something to do in Columbus tonight, check out the Halloween Taproom Takeover at the St James Tavern.

Mom was my #1 fan and loved to see all the OGP plays. Please go and laugh loudly, like she did.

www.facebook.com/events/19807...
October 31, 2025 at 12:29 PM
NOON GOD!
PLEASE TAKE JANE INTO YOUR PROTECTIVE, AUDIBLE ARMS.
October 29, 2025 at 5:01 PM