Fake Bono
@fakebono.bsky.social
Hello, and welcome to me! I write the DearBaE column on achtoonbaby.com with my esteemed colleague, Fake Edge. Please feel free to ask us any questions you may have, and we will answer them here:
www.achtoonbaby.com/dearbae
www.achtoonbaby.com/dearbae
It’s all about health!
Fake Bono and Fake Myself have returned to answer your questions! In our column titled "Healthy Sexuality," we have tips on how to weather cold and flu season, along with exciting news about a Joshua Tree sexual wellness retreat.
www.achtoonbaby.com/dearbae/dear...
www.achtoonbaby.com/dearbae/dear...
November 24, 2025 at 2:37 PM
It’s all about health!
Congratulations, real me! Clear a space on the mantelpiece!
U2 named 2025 Woody Guthrie Prize honorees! The band will be presented with the award Oct. 21 in Tulsa. Bono and The Edge will accept the Prize on behalf of the band at Cain’s Ballroom in an exclusive event presented by the Harper House Music Foundation
Photo credit: Olaf Heine
Photo credit: Olaf Heine
September 18, 2025 at 7:31 PM
Congratulations, real me! Clear a space on the mantelpiece!
Happy 11th Anniversary of "Songs Of Innocence!" You know you love it. 📱
September 9, 2025 at 6:12 PM
Happy 11th Anniversary of "Songs Of Innocence!" You know you love it. 📱
Midnight, our sons and daughters
Were cut down and taken from us.
Hear their heartbeat
We hear their heartbeat.
In the wind we hear their laughter
In the rain we see their tears.
Hear their heartbeat, we hear their heartbeat.
Were cut down and taken from us.
Hear their heartbeat
We hear their heartbeat.
In the wind we hear their laughter
In the rain we see their tears.
Hear their heartbeat, we hear their heartbeat.
August 28, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Midnight, our sons and daughters
Were cut down and taken from us.
Hear their heartbeat
We hear their heartbeat.
In the wind we hear their laughter
In the rain we see their tears.
Hear their heartbeat, we hear their heartbeat.
Were cut down and taken from us.
Hear their heartbeat
We hear their heartbeat.
In the wind we hear their laughter
In the rain we see their tears.
Hear their heartbeat, we hear their heartbeat.
Your first six emojis explains your attachment style/income tax bracket/blood type. No cheating!
attachment style: 😎😎
income tax bracket: 😎😎
blood type: 😎😎
attachment style: 😎😎
income tax bracket: 😎😎
blood type: 😎😎
Your first six emojis explains your attachment style/income tax bracket/blood type. No cheating!
attachment style: 😀🥺
income tax bracket: 😍🤬
blood type: 😾🤷🏼♀️
jaysus, I'm nothing but a bunch of confusing contradictions.
attachment style: 😀🥺
income tax bracket: 😍🤬
blood type: 😾🤷🏼♀️
jaysus, I'm nothing but a bunch of confusing contradictions.
Your first six emojis explains your attachment style/income tax bracket/blood type. No cheating!
attachment style: 🫣🤗
income tax bracket: 😩🧐
blood type: 🔥🤩
the system works.
attachment style: 🫣🤗
income tax bracket: 😩🧐
blood type: 🔥🤩
the system works.
August 24, 2025 at 11:05 AM
Your first six emojis explains your attachment style/income tax bracket/blood type. No cheating!
attachment style: 😎😎
income tax bracket: 😎😎
blood type: 😎😎
attachment style: 😎😎
income tax bracket: 😎😎
blood type: 😎😎
Reposted by Fake Bono
Yeah, seriously. Joy is resistance. We have to find the joy wherever we can right now, and lecturing people who have found some brief relief from this hellscape about how bad they are is a real dick move.
When they aren't hurting anyone, just shut up and let people enjoy things. Don't be a dick.
When they aren't hurting anyone, just shut up and let people enjoy things. Don't be a dick.
I saw someone genuinely irritated that Taylor Swift fans are having some moments of joy these last couple of days despite the horrors of the world, I want to reassure that person that when the Taylor Swift fans are done having their joy the horrors will still be there, don't worry, they can catch up
August 13, 2025 at 10:48 PM
Yeah, seriously. Joy is resistance. We have to find the joy wherever we can right now, and lecturing people who have found some brief relief from this hellscape about how bad they are is a real dick move.
When they aren't hurting anyone, just shut up and let people enjoy things. Don't be a dick.
When they aren't hurting anyone, just shut up and let people enjoy things. Don't be a dick.
Real Me is pretty smart. An A- student, let's say. His friends can kick rocks.
August 10, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Real Me is pretty smart. An A- student, let's say. His friends can kick rocks.
"Edge is the silence inside every noise. He's the light inside the paint."
That's a quote from Real Me. Happy birthday, Edge.
That's a quote from Real Me. Happy birthday, Edge.
August 8, 2025 at 1:49 PM
"Edge is the silence inside every noise. He's the light inside the paint."
That's a quote from Real Me. Happy birthday, Edge.
That's a quote from Real Me. Happy birthday, Edge.
"I have a genuine love affair with my audience. When I'm on stage they're not privileged to see me. It's a privilege for me to see them." — Ozzy Osbourne 🦇
July 22, 2025 at 8:47 PM
"I have a genuine love affair with my audience. When I'm on stage they're not privileged to see me. It's a privilege for me to see them." — Ozzy Osbourne 🦇
Thrill as I pronounce the word "tomatoes" in two different ways. You're welcome.
Bono Bonus Episode!
Hear Bono read the recipe for Spaghetti alla Puttanesca and speaking of his father!
podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/b...
Hear Bono read the recipe for Spaghetti alla Puttanesca and speaking of his father!
podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/b...
July 18, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Thrill as I pronounce the word "tomatoes" in two different ways. You're welcome.
The Velvet Underground:
July 15, 2025 at 2:08 PM
The Velvet Underground:
Don't mind if I do!
July 12, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Don't mind if I do!
How does it feel?
Orkestra Obsolete play Blue Monday using 1930s instruments - BBC Arts
YouTube video by BBC
youtu.be
July 12, 2025 at 4:05 PM
How does it feel?
Oh, I must keep my heart inviolate
Against the potent poison of your hate.
— Claude McKay (1889 - 1948), "The White House"
Against the potent poison of your hate.
— Claude McKay (1889 - 1948), "The White House"
July 11, 2025 at 1:20 PM
Oh, I must keep my heart inviolate
Against the potent poison of your hate.
— Claude McKay (1889 - 1948), "The White House"
Against the potent poison of your hate.
— Claude McKay (1889 - 1948), "The White House"
Share a piece of lore about yourself.
I'm not just Fake Bono. I'm SIR Fake Bono.
I'm not just Fake Bono. I'm SIR Fake Bono.
Share a piece of lore about yourself.
I was the only girl on a ground crew for a company that serviced Braniff and private planes at Reno Airport summer of 1978.
I was the only girl on a ground crew for a company that serviced Braniff and private planes at Reno Airport summer of 1978.
Share a piece of lore about yourself.
I did a magic trick on the morning news as a kid.
I did a magic trick on the morning news as a kid.
July 9, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Share a piece of lore about yourself.
I'm not just Fake Bono. I'm SIR Fake Bono.
I'm not just Fake Bono. I'm SIR Fake Bono.
If ever a song could put a crusty oul' geezer back in touch with his innocence, it's "Here Comes the Sun." Wish I'd written it. It's alright.
The Beatles began recording the George Harrison penned "Here Comes the Sun" from 'Abbey Road' 56 years ago on July 7, 1969
album.ink/TheBeatlesAR
album.ink/TheBeatlesAR
July 8, 2025 at 1:22 PM
If ever a song could put a crusty oul' geezer back in touch with his innocence, it's "Here Comes the Sun." Wish I'd written it. It's alright.
Don't worry, baby. It's gonna be alright.
Uncertainty can be a guiding light.
Uncertainty can be a guiding light.
July 4, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Don't worry, baby. It's gonna be alright.
Uncertainty can be a guiding light.
Uncertainty can be a guiding light.
Your flying colours, your family tree
And all your lessons in history
Please, please, please
Get up off your knees
Please, please, please
Leave me out of this, please
And all your lessons in history
Please, please, please
Get up off your knees
Please, please, please
Leave me out of this, please
July 2, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Your flying colours, your family tree
And all your lessons in history
Please, please, please
Get up off your knees
Please, please, please
Leave me out of this, please
And all your lessons in history
Please, please, please
Get up off your knees
Please, please, please
Leave me out of this, please
Reposted by Fake Bono
Thank you…we are in desperate need of inspiration…
From Red Wine and Blue: "160 Ways to Change the World Without Losing Your Shit:"
redwine.blue/change-the-w...
redwine.blue/change-the-w...
160 Ways to Change The World - Red Wine and Blue
This guide will help you fight back effectively, take care of your people, and have way more fun than the other side is having.
redwine.blue
July 2, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Thank you…we are in desperate need of inspiration…
American extremists on the right and left have made Real Me sad…again. Real Me will be okay, but this is no way to run a country or a world.
Bono Bids Emotional Farewell to USAID Staffers Fired By Trump: ‘You Were the Best Of Us’
Bono joined former Presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush on Monday in an emotional video conference with USAID Staffers fired by Donald Trump.
www.billboard.com
July 1, 2025 at 10:29 PM
American extremists on the right and left have made Real Me sad…again. Real Me will be okay, but this is no way to run a country or a world.
Been giving this some thought.
If you "feel you have to say something," is that really "freedom of expression?" Or is it something else?
If you "feel you have to say something," is that really "freedom of expression?" Or is it something else?
July 1, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Been giving this some thought.
If you "feel you have to say something," is that really "freedom of expression?" Or is it something else?
If you "feel you have to say something," is that really "freedom of expression?" Or is it something else?
Fake B's Poet's Corner:
Night was done. We rose and after
Washing, dressing,—kissed with laughter,—
After all, the sweet night knows.
Lilac breakfast cups were clinking
While we sat like brothers drinking
Tea,—and kept our dominoes.
— Mikhail Alekseyevich Kuzmin
Night was done. We rose and after
Washing, dressing,—kissed with laughter,—
After all, the sweet night knows.
Lilac breakfast cups were clinking
While we sat like brothers drinking
Tea,—and kept our dominoes.
— Mikhail Alekseyevich Kuzmin
June 28, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Fake B's Poet's Corner:
Night was done. We rose and after
Washing, dressing,—kissed with laughter,—
After all, the sweet night knows.
Lilac breakfast cups were clinking
While we sat like brothers drinking
Tea,—and kept our dominoes.
— Mikhail Alekseyevich Kuzmin
Night was done. We rose and after
Washing, dressing,—kissed with laughter,—
After all, the sweet night knows.
Lilac breakfast cups were clinking
While we sat like brothers drinking
Tea,—and kept our dominoes.
— Mikhail Alekseyevich Kuzmin
Reposted by Fake Bono
HELLO FROM YOUR TWO(!) FAVORITE CITIZENS OF IRELAND!🇮🇪
"Beloved readers! Fake Edge and Fake Myself are back with another blockbuster column, where we address the following issues: Edge's memoir, a startling Eno revelation, and my INCANDESCENT RAGE. Join us, won't you?"--Fake Bono
www.achtoonbaby.com/dearbae/dear...
www.achtoonbaby.com/dearbae/dear...
Dear BaE Volume 25: Fight — Achtoon Baby
Welcome to our little advice column! You really can ask us (almost) anything, but please note: Dear BaE is written by two people who wish to remain anonymous, for entertainment purposes only....
www.achtoonbaby.com
June 24, 2025 at 8:03 PM
HELLO FROM YOUR TWO(!) FAVORITE CITIZENS OF IRELAND!🇮🇪
Fair play to @achtoonbaby.bsky.social. T'anks!
"You don’t even blink now, do you, or even look away."
It's Bono's 65th birthday, and how is that even possible? PJ has written a new prose poem called "A Fanatic Heart," and Kelly's painting is supposed to be that way.
www.achtoonbaby.com/blog-3/afana...
#bono #bono65 #U2 #achtoonbaby
It's Bono's 65th birthday, and how is that even possible? PJ has written a new prose poem called "A Fanatic Heart," and Kelly's painting is supposed to be that way.
www.achtoonbaby.com/blog-3/afana...
#bono #bono65 #U2 #achtoonbaby
May 10, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Fair play to @achtoonbaby.bsky.social. T'anks!
Happy weekend, Beloveds. #u2fam is aware that there are showers of acc*unts out there pretending to be Real Me, but this one has acquired 2.4 million followers. Real me does not like being called Paul. Real me is an excellent writer in the English language. Report, or merely be awed by the stupid.
March 29, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Happy weekend, Beloveds. #u2fam is aware that there are showers of acc*unts out there pretending to be Real Me, but this one has acquired 2.4 million followers. Real me does not like being called Paul. Real me is an excellent writer in the English language. Report, or merely be awed by the stupid.