Evan J’Daté Kessler
@evanjkessler.bsky.social
Here to make friends and find love and I'm all out of making friends. Comedian and host of "Won't You Be My Killer?" podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wont-you-be-my-killer/id1736422937
I need a job, but I might have to settle for being exploited by Mr. Beast.
February 20, 2026 at 2:19 AM
I need a job, but I might have to settle for being exploited by Mr. Beast.
Reposted by Evan J’Daté Kessler
Painted this bald, disembodied head in a meditative state. Unintentionally looks like my stepdad.
February 18, 2026 at 6:08 AM
Painted this bald, disembodied head in a meditative state. Unintentionally looks like my stepdad.
Kid Rock looks like somebody’s shitty cousin. He should change his name to “Shitty Cousin.”
February 18, 2026 at 4:38 AM
Kid Rock looks like somebody’s shitty cousin. He should change his name to “Shitty Cousin.”
RFK Jr. working out in jeans has me fully convinced he's a "never nude."
The US Department of Health and Human Services just released this video.
February 17, 2026 at 11:48 PM
RFK Jr. working out in jeans has me fully convinced he's a "never nude."
Just want to let everyone know that I was the first person to ever write the joke "for lent, I'm giving up." There's absolutely no way to research this though, so you're just going to have to take my word for it.
February 17, 2026 at 11:45 PM
Just want to let everyone know that I was the first person to ever write the joke "for lent, I'm giving up." There's absolutely no way to research this though, so you're just going to have to take my word for it.
Idea: A comic whose whole gimmick is setup, backflip, punchline.
February 15, 2026 at 10:49 PM
Idea: A comic whose whole gimmick is setup, backflip, punchline.
Dissociating by reading the Wikipedia entry for Salt Bae.
February 14, 2026 at 3:36 AM
Dissociating by reading the Wikipedia entry for Salt Bae.
The names on the food delivery robots in LA are meant to symbolize someone they took work away from.
February 12, 2026 at 11:19 PM
The names on the food delivery robots in LA are meant to symbolize someone they took work away from.
Just tried to challenge a Waymo to a drag race, but couldn’t get the driver’s attention.
February 12, 2026 at 6:33 AM
Just tried to challenge a Waymo to a drag race, but couldn’t get the driver’s attention.
Sometimes I’ll walk right by someone and say “thank you” for no reason. No idea what that’s all about.
February 12, 2026 at 2:08 AM
Sometimes I’ll walk right by someone and say “thank you” for no reason. No idea what that’s all about.
I feel like we all gotta get hopped up on Rage Against The Machine and Public Enemy for a week and then put an end to all this bullshit for good.
February 11, 2026 at 8:27 AM
I feel like we all gotta get hopped up on Rage Against The Machine and Public Enemy for a week and then put an end to all this bullshit for good.
Weather machines better not be real.
February 11, 2026 at 8:10 AM
Weather machines better not be real.
You call him Kid Rock, I call him “Christian Rock,” because lyrics like “bawitdaba da dang da dang diggy” make it clear how much he loves Jesus. The man is speaking in tongues with a message directly from the lord above!
February 10, 2026 at 11:19 PM
You call him Kid Rock, I call him “Christian Rock,” because lyrics like “bawitdaba da dang da dang diggy” make it clear how much he loves Jesus. The man is speaking in tongues with a message directly from the lord above!
I liked the Bad Bunny halftime show. Is this still relevant?
February 10, 2026 at 11:07 PM
I liked the Bad Bunny halftime show. Is this still relevant?
“Uranus isn’t sending their best.”
Donald Trump’s UFO bombshell speech ‘ready to go’ as insiders say it’s matter of urgency
https://www.ufofeed.com/207713/donald-trumps-ufo-bombshell-speech-ready-to-go-as-insiders-say-its-matter-of-urgency/
Donald Trump may already have prepared a speech in which he will publicly disclose …
https://www.ufofeed.com/207713/donald-trumps-ufo-bombshell-speech-ready-to-go-as-insiders-say-its-matter-of-urgency/
Donald Trump may already have prepared a speech in which he will publicly disclose …
Donald Trump's UFO bombshell speech 'ready to go' as insiders say it's matter of urgency - UFO FEED
Donald Trump may already have prepared a speech in which he will publicly disclose decades of alleged UFO and extraterrestrial evidence, ufologist Mark
www.ufofeed.com
February 10, 2026 at 6:59 AM
“Uranus isn’t sending their best.”
Next year's Super Bowl halftime show should be a Benedictine Monks reunion, featuring a Gregorian chant medley for the ages.
February 10, 2026 at 3:04 AM
Next year's Super Bowl halftime show should be a Benedictine Monks reunion, featuring a Gregorian chant medley for the ages.
If this were a movie, rebels would hijack the Super Bowl telecast and broadcast unredacted versions of Epstein emails, revealing all of the names involved with his pedophilic human trafficking ring - but only after Bad Bunny finished his halftime performance.
February 8, 2026 at 8:28 PM
If this were a movie, rebels would hijack the Super Bowl telecast and broadcast unredacted versions of Epstein emails, revealing all of the names involved with his pedophilic human trafficking ring - but only after Bad Bunny finished his halftime performance.
Just checking in to make sure I’m not the only person who wakes up every morning feeling insane.
February 7, 2026 at 6:46 PM
Just checking in to make sure I’m not the only person who wakes up every morning feeling insane.
Reposted by Evan J’Daté Kessler
The plan all along.
This is bleak: Jes Staley, currently CEO of Barclays, reassuring Epstein that popular revolt against financial elites is unlikely because capitalism and pop culture have defanged social movements, leaving people more invested in consumption than justice.
February 7, 2026 at 3:24 AM
The plan all along.
The world right now kinda feels like that nonsensical Al Pacino speech at the end of The Devil’s Advocate.
February 6, 2026 at 3:51 AM
The world right now kinda feels like that nonsensical Al Pacino speech at the end of The Devil’s Advocate.
This fantasy that Bill and Hillary Clinton are going to take everyone down is as delusional as the idea that Robert Mueller was going to blow the lid off all of Trump's corruption.
February 6, 2026 at 1:16 AM
This fantasy that Bill and Hillary Clinton are going to take everyone down is as delusional as the idea that Robert Mueller was going to blow the lid off all of Trump's corruption.
Reposted by Evan J’Daté Kessler
It's fucking nauseating the way these people pretend like it was a bunch of 16 year old girls just lining up to have sex with this man and not a coordinated effort to pay, blackmail, and/or threaten vulnerable teenagers into being sex trafficked by a man with infinite resources and protections
This level of apologia (from Megan McArdle in a podcast with Josh Barro and Ross Douthat) is fucking appalling. Idk what else there is to say.
February 5, 2026 at 9:52 PM
It's fucking nauseating the way these people pretend like it was a bunch of 16 year old girls just lining up to have sex with this man and not a coordinated effort to pay, blackmail, and/or threaten vulnerable teenagers into being sex trafficked by a man with infinite resources and protections
Bitcoin just feels like people having a parasocial relationship with money.
February 5, 2026 at 8:31 PM
Bitcoin just feels like people having a parasocial relationship with money.
Thought about just walking into the ocean, but I don't like waiting in lines.
February 5, 2026 at 5:12 PM
Thought about just walking into the ocean, but I don't like waiting in lines.