Evan J’Daté Kessler
@evanjkessler.bsky.social
Here to make friends and find love and I'm all out of making friends. Comedian and host of "Won't You Be My Killer?" podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wont-you-be-my-killer/id1736422937
Democrats are just trying to widen the tent without getting more coverage on top and the result is a low bar to get in, but it won't be tall enough for anyone to stand under.
Raskin: We are a big tent. We must be a huge, vast tent. I say this is a party that’s got room for Marjorie Taylor Greene if she wants to come over.
November 17, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Democrats are just trying to widen the tent without getting more coverage on top and the result is a low bar to get in, but it won't be tall enough for anyone to stand under.
Couldn't tell if I was wearing socks or not for a second there.
November 17, 2025 at 7:21 AM
Couldn't tell if I was wearing socks or not for a second there.
I don't like how you have to dress up to go to a funeral. Everyone should look like a mess.
November 17, 2025 at 6:56 AM
I don't like how you have to dress up to go to a funeral. Everyone should look like a mess.
One of the reasons I don't want to die is, what if someone dies right after me and steals my death thunder?
November 17, 2025 at 4:41 AM
One of the reasons I don't want to die is, what if someone dies right after me and steals my death thunder?
This is truly a headline for the most malevolently idiotic timeline.
A site affiliated with Lee Greenwood sells merchandise with the seal—such as a $20 beer pong set with “Presidential themed balls”—and pays licensing fees to a Trump LLC.
Trump-Licensed Presidential Seal Beer Pong Set Could Violate Federal Law
A site affiliated with Lee Greenwood sells merchandise with the seal—such as a $20 beer pong set with “Presidential themed balls”—and pays licensing fees to a Trump LLC.
www.forbes.com
November 16, 2025 at 7:56 AM
This is truly a headline for the most malevolently idiotic timeline.
Grief really hits the hardest when you have to share the news of someone’s passing. Once you have to make it real for someone else it’s like you’re activating it within yourself.
November 15, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Grief really hits the hardest when you have to share the news of someone’s passing. Once you have to make it real for someone else it’s like you’re activating it within yourself.
9 parts into this project where I add something to this painting every day I’m home for my 47th year on this planet. I kinda love it, so far.
November 14, 2025 at 7:53 AM
9 parts into this project where I add something to this painting every day I’m home for my 47th year on this planet. I kinda love it, so far.
Eating churros for dinner at a place that smells like it’s on fire.
November 14, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Eating churros for dinner at a place that smells like it’s on fire.
Ok, it’s raining. Time for Los Angeles to do what we do second best — make observations about how it’s raining!
What we actually do best is react to earthquakes!
What we actually do best is react to earthquakes!
November 13, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Ok, it’s raining. Time for Los Angeles to do what we do second best — make observations about how it’s raining!
What we actually do best is react to earthquakes!
What we actually do best is react to earthquakes!
How much do you think I can get for the copper in all these pennies?
November 13, 2025 at 10:20 PM
How much do you think I can get for the copper in all these pennies?
This isn't for anyone but me really, but the band Tennis should remake Pulp's "This Is Hardcore" album and call it "This is Hardcourt."
November 13, 2025 at 10:05 PM
This isn't for anyone but me really, but the band Tennis should remake Pulp's "This Is Hardcore" album and call it "This is Hardcourt."
Pretty sure he’s gonna go with the “takes one to know one” defense.
November 13, 2025 at 7:16 AM
Pretty sure he’s gonna go with the “takes one to know one” defense.
The President should step down for any number of things including the current things, but also all the other things. Also, he should've never been allowed to run for a second term - or even a first term. The guy should've been in jail a long time ago for so many different things.
November 13, 2025 at 3:13 AM
The President should step down for any number of things including the current things, but also all the other things. Also, he should've never been allowed to run for a second term - or even a first term. The guy should've been in jail a long time ago for so many different things.
Your 30s should be the cutoff for sending store bought greeting cards. At 30 you should be mature enough to express heartfelt sentiment with a bit of humor to those you care about. I don’t need a card with a stubborn crocodile that says “birthdays are a croc of shit, but yours is worth celebrating.”
November 11, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Your 30s should be the cutoff for sending store bought greeting cards. At 30 you should be mature enough to express heartfelt sentiment with a bit of humor to those you care about. I don’t need a card with a stubborn crocodile that says “birthdays are a croc of shit, but yours is worth celebrating.”
Releasing an album called "Dating A Model." It's a dystopian-folk album about the pitfalls of having an AI girlfriend; written and composed by Grok, but I get all the credit because I typed in the prompt.
November 11, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Releasing an album called "Dating A Model." It's a dystopian-folk album about the pitfalls of having an AI girlfriend; written and composed by Grok, but I get all the credit because I typed in the prompt.
The only thing Chuck Schumer won't capitulate to is the idea of retirement.
November 10, 2025 at 7:24 AM
The only thing Chuck Schumer won't capitulate to is the idea of retirement.
Today is most of the world’s 9/11.
November 10, 2025 at 12:05 AM
Today is most of the world’s 9/11.
It’s a little funny that a car with this license plate has a parking ticket.
November 7, 2025 at 7:11 PM
It’s a little funny that a car with this license plate has a parking ticket.
I have two new rewards at the açaí bowl place. They’ve got me by the balls.
November 7, 2025 at 2:10 AM
I have two new rewards at the açaí bowl place. They’ve got me by the balls.
Just scrolling through Hinge. Coincidentally, that also describes my mayoral platform.
November 7, 2025 at 2:06 AM
Just scrolling through Hinge. Coincidentally, that also describes my mayoral platform.
Reposted by Evan J’Daté Kessler
The move here for democrats is to make this the campaign ad for every single election but then also actually make it come true
KEY PART
KEY PART
Steve Bannon: If we lose the midterms and we lose 2028, some in this room are going to prison, myself included.
November 7, 2025 at 12:47 AM
The move here for democrats is to make this the campaign ad for every single election but then also actually make it come true
KEY PART
KEY PART
New Jubilee Video: 20 people saying "huh?" vs. 1 guy saying "c'mon, really?"
November 7, 2025 at 12:47 AM
New Jubilee Video: 20 people saying "huh?" vs. 1 guy saying "c'mon, really?"
Billionaires would rather build a remote secret lair at the base of a mountain, only reachable by a cybertruck getting stuck at the base of a mountain, than live in a city with social and economic policies meant to benefit all of its inhabitants.
November 6, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Billionaires would rather build a remote secret lair at the base of a mountain, only reachable by a cybertruck getting stuck at the base of a mountain, than live in a city with social and economic policies meant to benefit all of its inhabitants.
My least favorite word might be “remoulade.” It sounds elegant, but not at all appetizing.
November 6, 2025 at 3:03 AM
My least favorite word might be “remoulade.” It sounds elegant, but not at all appetizing.
Idea: An art exhibit of furniture I found left out on the sidewalk, called “Has this been pissed on?”
November 5, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Idea: An art exhibit of furniture I found left out on the sidewalk, called “Has this been pissed on?”