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erikdarling.com
Darling Data
@erikdarling.com
I will make your #SQLServer faster in exchange for money.

https://linktr.ee/darlingdata
A Little About Scalar UDFs and Read Committed Snapshot Isolation In SQL Server

https://erikdarling.com/a-little-about-scalar-udfs-and-read-committed-snapshot-isolation-in-sql-server/
November 11, 2025 at 2:00 PM
November 10, 2025 at 2:01 PM
I came to the realization that my espresso machine is just an expensive Giga Pet. It runs out of beans and I feed it. It runs out of water and I refill it. The drip tray or waste bucket fill up and I change its diaper. Descale. Replace filter. On and on. It's loud. Just for some caffeine.
November 9, 2025 at 4:05 PM
A Little About Serializable Escalation In SQL Server

https://erikdarling.com/a-little-about-serializable-escalation-in-sql-server/
November 7, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Why Partitioning Is Not A Performance Feature In SQL Server

https://erikdarling.com/why-partitioning-is-not-a-performance-feature-in-sql-server/
November 6, 2025 at 2:00 PM
A Lot About Multi-Statement Table Valued Function In SQL Server

https://erikdarling.com/a-lot-about-multi-statement-table-valued-function-in-sql-server/
November 5, 2025 at 2:00 PM
November 4, 2025 at 2:01 PM
November 3, 2025 at 2:04 PM
how on earth does this not get simplified out of the query plan
November 2, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Hello, old friend.
November 1, 2025 at 7:34 PM
amusing morning symmetry.
November 1, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Yeah AlwaysOn more like AlwaysGone
October 31, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Introducing My SQL Server Performance Engineering Course

https://erikdarling.com/introducing-my-sql-server-performance-engineering-course/
October 31, 2025 at 1:00 PM
A Little About Table Variable Deferred Compilation Depth In SQL Server

https://erikdarling.com/a-little-about-table-variable-deferred-compilation-depth-in-sql-server/
October 30, 2025 at 1:00 PM
It's just another day for you...
You and me in paradise
October 29, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Table Variable vs Local Variable Cardinality Estimates in SQL Server

https://erikdarling.com/table-variable-vs-local-variable-cardinality-estimates-in-sql-server/
October 29, 2025 at 1:00 PM
A Little About *Why* Local Variables Give Weird Cardinality Estimates in SQL Server

https://erikdarling.com/a-little-about-why-local-variables-give-weird-cardinality-estimates-in-sql-server/
October 28, 2025 at 1:01 PM
October 27, 2025 at 1:01 PM
I spent some time this weekend trying to get spatial results into sp_QuickieStore to help show the magnitude of query performance issues. It sort of works, but I’m not thrilled with it. There’s no way to label the X/Y axis or have a default label for the shapes.
October 26, 2025 at 5:42 PM
This year's PASS Data Community Summit t-shirts are COMING IN HOT! If you're attending me and @kendralittle.bsky.social's precons, you just might could score one!
October 24, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Learn T-SQL With Erik: Inline Table Valued Functions

https://erikdarling.com/learn-t-sql-with-erik-inline-table-valued-functions/
October 24, 2025 at 1:01 PM
I finally got my first unfriendly stack overflow comment

https://erikdarling.com/i-finally-got-my-first-unfriendly-stack-overflow-comment/
October 24, 2025 at 5:33 AM