doubled pawn
@doubledpawn.bsky.social
Introvert full of anxiety
Notation: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:iuhvfkvs6e44zydqfeyt2cz4/feed/aaadcmrq57dek
Notation: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:iuhvfkvs6e44zydqfeyt2cz4/feed/aaadcmrq57dek
January 20, 2026 at 1:45 AM
I was just curious okay
January 19, 2026 at 7:43 PM
I was just curious okay
“Good afternoon! Thanks for coming in! Looking for a pillow that will finally give you a well-deserved good night’s rest? Your back and neck will—“
“Cut the bullshit, I need a pillow that is good for screaming into.”
“Right this way.”
“Cut the bullshit, I need a pillow that is good for screaming into.”
“Right this way.”
January 19, 2026 at 6:51 PM
“Good afternoon! Thanks for coming in! Looking for a pillow that will finally give you a well-deserved good night’s rest? Your back and neck will—“
“Cut the bullshit, I need a pillow that is good for screaming into.”
“Right this way.”
“Cut the bullshit, I need a pillow that is good for screaming into.”
“Right this way.”
“I can’t seem to access the system anymore. Is this due to the recent update?”
“Well…one of the improvements made with the update is not having you be able to access the system anymore, so…yeah…”
“Well…one of the improvements made with the update is not having you be able to access the system anymore, so…yeah…”
January 14, 2026 at 8:48 PM
“I can’t seem to access the system anymore. Is this due to the recent update?”
“Well…one of the improvements made with the update is not having you be able to access the system anymore, so…yeah…”
“Well…one of the improvements made with the update is not having you be able to access the system anymore, so…yeah…”
Complete stranger: “No problem, bro.”
Me: “Okay, but don’t call me bro.”
Complete stranger: “Sure thing, boss.”
Me: “Wait, go back to ‘bro.’”
Me: “Okay, but don’t call me bro.”
Complete stranger: “Sure thing, boss.”
Me: “Wait, go back to ‘bro.’”
January 14, 2026 at 8:40 PM
Complete stranger: “No problem, bro.”
Me: “Okay, but don’t call me bro.”
Complete stranger: “Sure thing, boss.”
Me: “Wait, go back to ‘bro.’”
Me: “Okay, but don’t call me bro.”
Complete stranger: “Sure thing, boss.”
Me: “Wait, go back to ‘bro.’”
Waiting a long time for something because it’s not plugged in
January 14, 2026 at 1:34 PM
Waiting a long time for something because it’s not plugged in
“It says here on your résumé you are ‘Diligent about completing your daily tasks on all of your phone apps and games.’ Can you elaborate?”
January 12, 2026 at 2:26 PM
“It says here on your résumé you are ‘Diligent about completing your daily tasks on all of your phone apps and games.’ Can you elaborate?”
What could be worse than 2025? Oh…2026.
January 5, 2026 at 10:12 PM
What could be worse than 2025? Oh…2026.
I think I’m ready to be arrested by another country
January 5, 2026 at 10:02 PM
I think I’m ready to be arrested by another country
The “feels like” feature from the weather app, but it’s for the calendar.
Friday, January 2nd (feels like Monday)
Friday, January 2nd (feels like Monday)
January 2, 2026 at 2:20 PM
The “feels like” feature from the weather app, but it’s for the calendar.
Friday, January 2nd (feels like Monday)
Friday, January 2nd (feels like Monday)
Subscribing to a free trial, then canceling right away so it won’t renew, is one of my favorite pastimes
January 1, 2026 at 9:03 PM
Subscribing to a free trial, then canceling right away so it won’t renew, is one of my favorite pastimes
Taking the 2025 floppy disk out of my head and putting in the 2026 floppy disk
Taking the 2024 floppy disk out of my head and putting in the 2025 floppy disk
January 1, 2026 at 6:39 PM
Taking the 2025 floppy disk out of my head and putting in the 2026 floppy disk
Reposted by doubled pawn
When do the years stop?
December 31, 2024 at 7:12 PM
When do the years stop?
I fake-fire myself periodically so I am not thrown off guard when the real thing happens
December 31, 2025 at 2:45 AM
I fake-fire myself periodically so I am not thrown off guard when the real thing happens
“Oh hey, you invented sun-dried tomatoes? I’m not a big fan of eating those but I respect what you’ve done to the culinary world.”
“Wait…oh God…did you just say people are eating them?”
“Wait…oh God…did you just say people are eating them?”
December 30, 2025 at 1:00 AM
“Oh hey, you invented sun-dried tomatoes? I’m not a big fan of eating those but I respect what you’ve done to the culinary world.”
“Wait…oh God…did you just say people are eating them?”
“Wait…oh God…did you just say people are eating them?”
They should make another season of before the internet
December 27, 2025 at 2:18 AM
They should make another season of before the internet
“We would like to apologize in advance to any Gen Z users who happen to stumble upon resurfaced Macarena dance videos from the 90s.”
December 27, 2025 at 2:08 AM
“We would like to apologize in advance to any Gen Z users who happen to stumble upon resurfaced Macarena dance videos from the 90s.”
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
“Why are you telling me an impossible thing?”
“Why are you telling me an impossible thing?”
December 27, 2025 at 12:11 AM
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
“Why are you telling me an impossible thing?”
“Why are you telling me an impossible thing?”
Waiting in line and looking at a phone then crossing the street and looking at a phone and thought I felt a notification buzz checked phone it was nothing went to bathroom while looking at phone sitting at restaurant waiting for food looked at phone someone talking to me got bored looked at phone
December 27, 2025 at 12:09 AM
Waiting in line and looking at a phone then crossing the street and looking at a phone and thought I felt a notification buzz checked phone it was nothing went to bathroom while looking at phone sitting at restaurant waiting for food looked at phone someone talking to me got bored looked at phone
Reposted by doubled pawn
The Cracker Barrel thing was THIS YEAR. We have three more years of this shit. Anybody who makes it to 2028 without looking like Nosferatu will be required by the state to start a skincare brand.
December 23, 2025 at 5:39 PM
The Cracker Barrel thing was THIS YEAR. We have three more years of this shit. Anybody who makes it to 2028 without looking like Nosferatu will be required by the state to start a skincare brand.
A Twitch stream of a person watching a Twitch stream
December 20, 2025 at 6:35 PM
A Twitch stream of a person watching a Twitch stream
Reposted by doubled pawn
I do not regret to inform you.
In fact, I relish to inform you.
In fact, I relish to inform you.
December 20, 2025 at 2:52 PM
I do not regret to inform you.
In fact, I relish to inform you.
In fact, I relish to inform you.
Ask your doctor if Bluesky is right for you
December 18, 2025 at 5:58 AM
Ask your doctor if Bluesky is right for you
“To avoid awkward pre-meeting small talk, we are going to go ahead and start…”
December 12, 2025 at 2:00 PM
“To avoid awkward pre-meeting small talk, we are going to go ahead and start…”
Everyday: “I should have taken off today.”
December 12, 2025 at 1:29 PM
Everyday: “I should have taken off today.”