David F Porteous
@dfpiii.bsky.social
Scottish author of The Wicker Man Preservation Society, Good Witch, and Singular. Read work in progress at dfpiii.com
Phan confirmation is the best, least surprising news of the week.
October 15, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Phan confirmation is the best, least surprising news of the week.
Reposted by David F Porteous
NEW PODCAST: “The 9pm Uncommon Death Adder with David F Porteous” @dfpiii.bsky.social (1h18m21s) the9pmedict.com/edict/00253/
Look for it in your podcast app of choice.
Like it? Please tell your friends and consider throwing in a tip. the9pmedict.com/tip
Look for it in your podcast app of choice.
Like it? Please tell your friends and consider throwing in a tip. the9pmedict.com/tip
September 27, 2025 at 10:26 AM
NEW PODCAST: “The 9pm Uncommon Death Adder with David F Porteous” @dfpiii.bsky.social (1h18m21s) the9pmedict.com/edict/00253/
Look for it in your podcast app of choice.
Like it? Please tell your friends and consider throwing in a tip. the9pmedict.com/tip
Look for it in your podcast app of choice.
Like it? Please tell your friends and consider throwing in a tip. the9pmedict.com/tip
Reposted by David F Porteous
This happens to everyone, right?
August 7, 2025 at 2:34 PM
This happens to everyone, right?
Passed 70,000 words in the book today. Is this half way? Unclear. It's part of my approach to writing that I know how the book finishes, but I don't know everything that needs to happen between here and there.
July 25, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Passed 70,000 words in the book today. Is this half way? Unclear. It's part of my approach to writing that I know how the book finishes, but I don't know everything that needs to happen between here and there.
Like a week ago "After the Gold Rush" by Neil Young crept into my head. Delightful, honkily-twanky song with a name and context I don't understand. It's very much like an owl that somehow got trapped in a banjo.
July 20, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Like a week ago "After the Gold Rush" by Neil Young crept into my head. Delightful, honkily-twanky song with a name and context I don't understand. It's very much like an owl that somehow got trapped in a banjo.
The comments of Diane Abbott on the fact that visual minorities experience discrimination in different ways than other minorities are *obviously* true. It isn't antisemitic to say that you can see a black person half a mile away, but you can't tell if someone is Jewish just by looking at them.
July 17, 2025 at 4:47 PM
The comments of Diane Abbott on the fact that visual minorities experience discrimination in different ways than other minorities are *obviously* true. It isn't antisemitic to say that you can see a black person half a mile away, but you can't tell if someone is Jewish just by looking at them.
Reposted by David F Porteous
This is a monstrosity.
Finally I created a perfect blend of Popeye and Donald Duck:
May 22, 2025 at 4:00 PM
This is a monstrosity.
I'm not a big conspiracy theorist. But... I think... maybe... it's possible... Israel tried to fix the Eurovision Song Contest.
That's crazy though - right? RIGHT?
That's crazy though - right? RIGHT?
May 21, 2025 at 6:54 PM
I'm not a big conspiracy theorist. But... I think... maybe... it's possible... Israel tried to fix the Eurovision Song Contest.
That's crazy though - right? RIGHT?
That's crazy though - right? RIGHT?
"New phone, Houthis" is my favourite Houthis pun looking for a joke. Right after "Timhouthis Chalamet".
This is the experimental phase of joke development. This is how you invent joke velcro.
This is the experimental phase of joke development. This is how you invent joke velcro.
May 15, 2025 at 10:12 AM
"New phone, Houthis" is my favourite Houthis pun looking for a joke. Right after "Timhouthis Chalamet".
This is the experimental phase of joke development. This is how you invent joke velcro.
This is the experimental phase of joke development. This is how you invent joke velcro.
@stilgherrian.com I see the Liberals are experimenting with a new leader - like a summer girlfriend. Not someone they'll marry. Probably not even take home to meet the parents or introduce to all their friends. A pleasant memory to look back on before they get serious (around 2027).
May 14, 2025 at 3:25 PM
@stilgherrian.com I see the Liberals are experimenting with a new leader - like a summer girlfriend. Not someone they'll marry. Probably not even take home to meet the parents or introduce to all their friends. A pleasant memory to look back on before they get serious (around 2027).
Reposted by David F Porteous
Implement a 100% tariff and ruin a movie
Big Trouble in China
Big Trouble in China
Implement a 100% tariff and ruin a movie
Return of Two Jedis
Return of Two Jedis
Implement a 100% tariff and ruin a movie
4 Fast 4 Furious
4 Fast 4 Furious
May 5, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Implement a 100% tariff and ruin a movie
Big Trouble in China
Big Trouble in China
Steven Miller's favourite Game of Thrones character is Joffre.
May 4, 2025 at 11:13 AM
Steven Miller's favourite Game of Thrones character is Joffre.
BTW - congratulations to Canada and Australia. Good job everyone. England's local elections continue to be problematic....
May 3, 2025 at 6:29 PM
BTW - congratulations to Canada and Australia. Good job everyone. England's local elections continue to be problematic....
The dumber the thing you want to say, the more flags you need to say it in front of.
May 2, 2025 at 7:44 AM
The dumber the thing you want to say, the more flags you need to say it in front of.
Guys... 1 man vs 1 gorilla isn't a certain outcome. We're the apex species. Have some damn self confidence.
May 1, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Guys... 1 man vs 1 gorilla isn't a certain outcome. We're the apex species. Have some damn self confidence.
Star Wars rules are very clear - big fat Jedis are more powerful. In all 7 of the films I'm prepared to acknowledge, we never see a big fat Jedi get killed, while tiny little Yoda loses or draws every fight, then dies of boredom or possibly trench foot. Checkmate, doctors who believe in the Force.
April 30, 2025 at 1:45 AM
Star Wars rules are very clear - big fat Jedis are more powerful. In all 7 of the films I'm prepared to acknowledge, we never see a big fat Jedi get killed, while tiny little Yoda loses or draws every fight, then dies of boredom or possibly trench foot. Checkmate, doctors who believe in the Force.
To all the people out there who aren't tired - how?
April 29, 2025 at 7:37 PM
To all the people out there who aren't tired - how?
Reposted by David F Porteous
NEW PODCAST: “The 9pm Bears of Heaven with David F Porteous” @dfpiii.bsky.social (1h36m17s) the9pmedict.com/edict/00246/
Look for “The 9pm Edict” in your podcast app.
Like it? Please tell your friends and maybe throw in a tip at the9pmedict.com/tip.
Look for “The 9pm Edict” in your podcast app.
Like it? Please tell your friends and maybe throw in a tip at the9pmedict.com/tip.
April 28, 2025 at 8:44 AM
NEW PODCAST: “The 9pm Bears of Heaven with David F Porteous” @dfpiii.bsky.social (1h36m17s) the9pmedict.com/edict/00246/
Look for “The 9pm Edict” in your podcast app.
Like it? Please tell your friends and maybe throw in a tip at the9pmedict.com/tip.
Look for “The 9pm Edict” in your podcast app.
Like it? Please tell your friends and maybe throw in a tip at the9pmedict.com/tip.
"Ocarina of Slice of Bread on Top for Patriots" is probably going to be the smartest thing I say all day and it's infinitely niche and objectively very stupid.
April 28, 2025 at 4:19 AM
"Ocarina of Slice of Bread on Top for Patriots" is probably going to be the smartest thing I say all day and it's infinitely niche and objectively very stupid.
What won't make it to the podcast - the line: "You can sing the n-word in Goldfinger, it's just tougher to get it in than Gold Digger. But if you really want to command the attention of the karaoke bar, that's how you do it."
I'm not even saying I said it - I'm just saying it won't be in the pod.
I'm not even saying I said it - I'm just saying it won't be in the pod.
Fri plan, an update: I have recorded a long and quite strange podcast with David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social and my intention is that it will be on the line on Sunday morning Australian time. You have been warned.
April 25, 2025 at 11:41 AM
What won't make it to the podcast - the line: "You can sing the n-word in Goldfinger, it's just tougher to get it in than Gold Digger. But if you really want to command the attention of the karaoke bar, that's how you do it."
I'm not even saying I said it - I'm just saying it won't be in the pod.
I'm not even saying I said it - I'm just saying it won't be in the pod.
I keep performing black magic rituals in my dreams. That's nothing to worry about, right? That's a thing that happens to all of us non-doomed, un-cursed flesh beings from time to time?
Anyway, back to bed. These candles in the shape of baby heads aren't going to arrange themselves probably.
Anyway, back to bed. These candles in the shape of baby heads aren't going to arrange themselves probably.
April 23, 2025 at 2:30 AM
I keep performing black magic rituals in my dreams. That's nothing to worry about, right? That's a thing that happens to all of us non-doomed, un-cursed flesh beings from time to time?
Anyway, back to bed. These candles in the shape of baby heads aren't going to arrange themselves probably.
Anyway, back to bed. These candles in the shape of baby heads aren't going to arrange themselves probably.
I understand that Australia faces the difficult choice between a terrible option backed by the Murdoch press and a good option opposed by the Murdoch press. And there's a very angry bench involved.
PODCAST NEWS: The next special guest on “The 9pm Edict” will be Scottish author and social researcher David F Porteous @dfpiii.bsky.social and I will attempt to explain Australian democracy to him.
Supporters with TRIGGER WORDS or a CONVERSATION TOPIC, to me by 9am AEST this Friday 25 April please.
Supporters with TRIGGER WORDS or a CONVERSATION TOPIC, to me by 9am AEST this Friday 25 April please.
April 23, 2025 at 1:45 AM
I understand that Australia faces the difficult choice between a terrible option backed by the Murdoch press and a good option opposed by the Murdoch press. And there's a very angry bench involved.
Reposted by David F Porteous
ROUTINE PLUG: The current crowdfunder is currently 79% of the way to Target One with five and a bit days to go. I’ve just added the rewards relevant to “Another Untitled Music Podcast” should you want more of those. Please consider. I’ll update you tonight. the9pmedict.com/mid2025
CROWDFUNDER FINAL WEEK: I’ve combined two seasons’ worth into The 9pm Mid-2025 series, for more special-guest episodes of my terrible podcast “The 9pm Edict” and other projects. the9pmedict.com/mid2025
Please click, read, consider, pledge, tell people. Any questions?
Please click, read, consider, pledge, tell people. Any questions?
April 17, 2025 at 3:17 AM
ROUTINE PLUG: The current crowdfunder is currently 79% of the way to Target One with five and a bit days to go. I’ve just added the rewards relevant to “Another Untitled Music Podcast” should you want more of those. Please consider. I’ll update you tonight. the9pmedict.com/mid2025