Derek Asaff
@derekasaff.bsky.social
Writer. Rescue Dog lover. Bert on the outside. Ernie on the inside. Reps at WME/KaplanPerrone.
I make Batman kill
SCENARIO: You got hired to write an X-Men book and are now embroiled a big scandal over a choice you made. What was it
September 16, 2025 at 3:02 AM
I make Batman kill
Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2?
September 2, 2025 at 5:38 AM
Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2?
I’m not religious, but I believe in the Holy Trinity.
April 7, 2025 at 9:49 PM
I’m not religious, but I believe in the Holy Trinity.
No cheating. The last saved celebrity pic on your phone is your therapist.
April 6, 2025 at 5:33 AM
No cheating. The last saved celebrity pic on your phone is your therapist.
Anyone else worried about that Chekhov's gun on The Pitt heading into next week?
"Stand between ten and two so the helicopter pilot can see you."
"Stand between ten and two so the helicopter pilot can see you."
April 4, 2025 at 6:16 AM
Anyone else worried about that Chekhov's gun on The Pitt heading into next week?
"Stand between ten and two so the helicopter pilot can see you."
"Stand between ten and two so the helicopter pilot can see you."
@browsermod.bsky.social, please remove me from your google list. I don't want to be on it. It's confusing for some people and they just block it.
March 29, 2025 at 9:08 AM
@browsermod.bsky.social, please remove me from your google list. I don't want to be on it. It's confusing for some people and they just block it.
Post a ship that's not Star Wars or Star Trek?
No.
No.
March 24, 2025 at 4:49 AM
Post a ship that's not Star Wars or Star Trek?
No.
No.
How many ingredients can change in a dish b4 it is no longer that dish? e.g. is it still Eggs Benedict if you swap the English muffin for plain toast? What if you also swap the hollandaise for bearnaise? And the bacon for crab? Shouldn't this be called something else?
In this Ted talk I will--
In this Ted talk I will--
March 23, 2025 at 8:33 PM
How many ingredients can change in a dish b4 it is no longer that dish? e.g. is it still Eggs Benedict if you swap the English muffin for plain toast? What if you also swap the hollandaise for bearnaise? And the bacon for crab? Shouldn't this be called something else?
In this Ted talk I will--
In this Ted talk I will--
Best Star Trek crew, wrong answers only
March 21, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Best Star Trek crew, wrong answers only
Age yourself with a cartoon you watched as a kid.
March 18, 2025 at 4:08 AM
Age yourself with a cartoon you watched as a kid.
Irish I was a little bit taller
Irish I was a baller
Irish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
Irish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a six-four Impala
Irish I was a baller
Irish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
Irish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a six-four Impala
March 17, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Irish I was a little bit taller
Irish I was a baller
Irish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
Irish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a six-four Impala
Irish I was a baller
Irish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
Irish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a six-four Impala
Vampire Lord: under tonight's blood moon, legions of undead shall walk this cursed earth, hunting you wretched mortals so we may feast upon your souls
Gavin Newsom: and I can't thank you enough for taking time away from all that to appear on my podcast
Gavin Newsom: and I can't thank you enough for taking time away from all that to appear on my podcast
March 14, 2025 at 8:07 AM
Vampire Lord: under tonight's blood moon, legions of undead shall walk this cursed earth, hunting you wretched mortals so we may feast upon your souls
Gavin Newsom: and I can't thank you enough for taking time away from all that to appear on my podcast
Gavin Newsom: and I can't thank you enough for taking time away from all that to appear on my podcast
Happy McDonald's Filet-o-Fish Friday to all the other low standard pescatarians out there!
March 7, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Happy McDonald's Filet-o-Fish Friday to all the other low standard pescatarians out there!
I didn't feel the earthquake.
My wife did. My dogs did. The house made some noise.
But I didn't feel it. Should I see my doctor? Am I dead?
My wife did. My dogs did. The house made some noise.
But I didn't feel it. Should I see my doctor? Am I dead?
March 3, 2025 at 6:42 AM
I didn't feel the earthquake.
My wife did. My dogs did. The house made some noise.
But I didn't feel it. Should I see my doctor? Am I dead?
My wife did. My dogs did. The house made some noise.
But I didn't feel it. Should I see my doctor? Am I dead?
“Why aren’t you wearing a suit?”
March 2, 2025 at 2:11 AM
“Why aren’t you wearing a suit?”
When the waiter brings out everyone's food but mine.
March 1, 2025 at 5:03 PM
When the waiter brings out everyone's food but mine.
Reposted by Derek Asaff
Gonna go watch THE PITT to de-stress.
March 1, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Gonna go watch THE PITT to de-stress.
Is there a more infuriating facebook comment "like" option than this emoji 😄 from right wing idiots presented with indisputable facts? WTF do they find so funny about anything right now??!!?
March 1, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Is there a more infuriating facebook comment "like" option than this emoji 😄 from right wing idiots presented with indisputable facts? WTF do they find so funny about anything right now??!!?
On the way to the store today, I passed two Cybertrucks & three regular Teslas, and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE DRIVERS WAS BLEEDING FROM AN OPEN HEAD WOUND!!
Not sure what it means or if there is something going on...
Not sure what it means or if there is something going on...
February 27, 2025 at 10:38 PM
On the way to the store today, I passed two Cybertrucks & three regular Teslas, and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE DRIVERS WAS BLEEDING FROM AN OPEN HEAD WOUND!!
Not sure what it means or if there is something going on...
Not sure what it means or if there is something going on...
Is this Gene Hackman death story true? This is the only outlet reporting thus far.
www.santafenewmexican.com
www.santafenewmexican.com
santafenewmexican.com | Santa Fe New Mexico daily news, sports, arts & culture news
The oldest newspaper company in the West, featuring local news, arts and opinion coverage in Santa Fe and Northern New Mexico.
www.santafenewmexican.com
February 27, 2025 at 8:16 AM
Is this Gene Hackman death story true? This is the only outlet reporting thus far.
www.santafenewmexican.com
www.santafenewmexican.com
@azalben.bsky.social Both Marvel Insider ending and Dark Horse Digital shutting down. Any insight into what is happening with that?
February 26, 2025 at 4:30 PM
@azalben.bsky.social Both Marvel Insider ending and Dark Horse Digital shutting down. Any insight into what is happening with that?
Dear Dept. Head:
My 5 main accomplishments this week are:
1. So much to do, so much to see
2. So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
3. You'll never know if you don't go
4. You'll never shine if you don't glow
5. Hey now, you're an all star
My 5 main accomplishments this week are:
1. So much to do, so much to see
2. So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
3. You'll never know if you don't go
4. You'll never shine if you don't glow
5. Hey now, you're an all star
Dear Dept. Head:
My 5 main accomplishments this week are:
1. Coming out of my cage
2. And I've been doing just fine
3. Gotta, gotta be down, because I want it all
4. It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?
5. It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
My 5 main accomplishments this week are:
1. Coming out of my cage
2. And I've been doing just fine
3. Gotta, gotta be down, because I want it all
4. It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?
5. It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
February 25, 2025 at 2:12 AM
Dear Dept. Head:
My 5 main accomplishments this week are:
1. So much to do, so much to see
2. So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
3. You'll never know if you don't go
4. You'll never shine if you don't glow
5. Hey now, you're an all star
My 5 main accomplishments this week are:
1. So much to do, so much to see
2. So what's wrong with taking the back streets?
3. You'll never know if you don't go
4. You'll never shine if you don't glow
5. Hey now, you're an all star
Movie you’ve watched more than six (or easily over 300) times, gifs only
February 24, 2025 at 8:34 AM
Movie you’ve watched more than six (or easily over 300) times, gifs only