Iosef Tarasov killed John Wick’s dog and John Wick murdered 439 people about it and you know what? I get it.

Hey, I’m sitting in the dumpster with you. Neither of us realize that our smudged faces look like haute couture and that fashion week is happening right around the corner, and if we can help each other climb out of the dumpster, we can sneak in for snacks and to get photographed by paparazzi.

so the OCD won’t let me be or let me be me so let me see

Or whatever Eminem said

Me, forging ahead on some foolhardy quest

butts are just the boobs of the back

Lookadis cat!

What if we all, just like chill for a sec?

burnout occurs when you try to rub your last two brain cells together to make a thought and instead they catch fire and torch the entirety of your gray matter.

Me: “COVID caused my hair to fall out. I don’t have ANY hair left! Is this what it’s like to go BALD?!”

Also Me:

Hey Skeeters, Me and my pal @deedeerose.bsky.social did a podcast with my pal Abbey Hannis about mosquitos and dead billionaires and how the Supreme Court should have sour cream and tomatoes on it, it was really fun & you should go check it out!
Worstweekyet.com

Satanic Lesbians Have All But Demolished The Christian God

quote skeet with your right wing grifter headline

“Cis is a made up word.” Oh yeah? You know what else is made up? Every other fucking word including the word words. Shut up.

and just like that, somewhere between a Wegman’s and a Wawa, I realized I was once again disoriented in the suburbs of Philadelphia…

Every day I think about the time my friend put a “Honk if you’re sad” bumper sticker on her car, forgot about it, then got paranoid she was a really bad driver because people kept honking at her.

When you're so depressed you don't even bother to use a coaster

she’s making the bed cause she’s a trad wife, i’m making the bed in case i die under suspicious circumstances i don’t want the people investigating to think i’m a slob and i’m afraid not making it will taunt the universe, causing me to die under suspicious circumstances. we are not the same.

I was here for less than 24 hours before I saw some anthropomorphized dildo say libraries are obsolete wastes of space. I thought it was supposed to be better here. Why did y’all trick me?