Dee Ahmed
@deeahmed.bsky.social
Comedian, Voice Actor, Writter, IT Drone, Goofball, Massive Forehead.
I now wear Hunter S. Thompson yellow sunglasses... I’m in a strangely confident place in my life.
July 7, 2025 at 3:14 PM
I now wear Hunter S. Thompson yellow sunglasses... I’m in a strangely confident place in my life.
Wait a second… DEI includes Paternity leave for Fathers?!?!?!?
jerry from tom and jerry is crying with a tear coming out of his nose
ALT: jerry from tom and jerry is crying with a tear coming out of his nose
media.tenor.com
February 6, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Wait a second… DEI includes Paternity leave for Fathers?!?!?!?
Stay safe on your dating apps in DC folks. The new crop just popped in and it's looking Musky.
February 6, 2025 at 3:03 PM
Stay safe on your dating apps in DC folks. The new crop just popped in and it's looking Musky.
They seem to be very concerned about diversity. Well, let's break this down.
If 44/45 guys, going back 236 years, all got sunburned. But 1 new guy showed up, over 15 years ago… and he didn't get sunburn.
Diversity would probably be less important than the real possibility of skin cancer. Right?
If 44/45 guys, going back 236 years, all got sunburned. But 1 new guy showed up, over 15 years ago… and he didn't get sunburn.
Diversity would probably be less important than the real possibility of skin cancer. Right?
February 3, 2025 at 6:18 PM
They seem to be very concerned about diversity. Well, let's break this down.
If 44/45 guys, going back 236 years, all got sunburned. But 1 new guy showed up, over 15 years ago… and he didn't get sunburn.
Diversity would probably be less important than the real possibility of skin cancer. Right?
If 44/45 guys, going back 236 years, all got sunburned. But 1 new guy showed up, over 15 years ago… and he didn't get sunburn.
Diversity would probably be less important than the real possibility of skin cancer. Right?
So many L’s.
[Stephen A Smith Voice]
“Luka landing in LA to link with LeBron? Legendary! This Lakers lineup's gonna leave the league in awe. Limitless Luka and legendary LeBron—LA's lights just got a lot brighter!”
#Lakers #Luka #LeBron #NBASky
[Stephen A Smith Voice]
“Luka landing in LA to link with LeBron? Legendary! This Lakers lineup's gonna leave the league in awe. Limitless Luka and legendary LeBron—LA's lights just got a lot brighter!”
#Lakers #Luka #LeBron #NBASky
a man in a suit and tie is drinking a green smoothie from a plastic cup with a straw .
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is drinking a green smoothie from a plastic cup with a straw .
media.tenor.com
February 2, 2025 at 6:10 AM
Luka to the Lakers has everyone in LA looking like this.
a cartoon character with a yellow tank top and brown shorts standing on a rocky beach .
ALT: a cartoon character with a yellow tank top and brown shorts standing on a rocky beach .
media.tenor.com
February 2, 2025 at 5:59 AM
Luka to the Lakers has everyone in LA looking like this.
This is the only reason I'm holding onto Instagram.
January 31, 2025 at 4:42 AM
This is the only reason I'm holding onto Instagram.
Sending this to folks unprompted in 2025.
January 26, 2025 at 7:24 AM
Sending this to folks unprompted in 2025.
Being a fan of Washington Sports teams will do things to you.
January 19, 2025 at 7:36 AM
Being a fan of Washington Sports teams will do things to you.
[Fake Facts FoxNews will Run With in 2025]
Only 1 in 5 of Gen-Z can whistle? Whistling was once a form of catcalling, so millennials stopped learning how to do it (60%). Now, even fewer Gen-Z can. Some even claiming they're physically incapable of whistling.
Woke people cancelled Whistling.
Only 1 in 5 of Gen-Z can whistle? Whistling was once a form of catcalling, so millennials stopped learning how to do it (60%). Now, even fewer Gen-Z can. Some even claiming they're physically incapable of whistling.
Woke people cancelled Whistling.
December 27, 2024 at 1:57 AM
[Fake Facts FoxNews will Run With in 2025]
Only 1 in 5 of Gen-Z can whistle? Whistling was once a form of catcalling, so millennials stopped learning how to do it (60%). Now, even fewer Gen-Z can. Some even claiming they're physically incapable of whistling.
Woke people cancelled Whistling.
Only 1 in 5 of Gen-Z can whistle? Whistling was once a form of catcalling, so millennials stopped learning how to do it (60%). Now, even fewer Gen-Z can. Some even claiming they're physically incapable of whistling.
Woke people cancelled Whistling.
Yeah, that seems correct… 😤
December 5, 2024 at 10:11 PM
Yeah, that seems correct… 😤
My Spotify Wrapped is just the call-waiting song for Xfinity when I tried to cancel my internet.
a man in a suit and tie is sitting in a chair and talking on a cell phone .
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting in a chair and talking on a cell phone .
media.tenor.com
December 5, 2024 at 8:29 PM
My Spotify Wrapped is just the call-waiting song for Xfinity when I tried to cancel my internet.
12 year old Dee thought there were going to be wayyy more hostage situations when I grew up.
Now, it's just reflux situations.
Now, it's just reflux situations.
December 4, 2024 at 9:57 PM
12 year old Dee thought there were going to be wayyy more hostage situations when I grew up.
Now, it's just reflux situations.
Now, it's just reflux situations.
Help if you can. He's a great person.
One of my friends was hit by an SUV recently while crossing the street. If you have any extra funds, please consider helping him out. He's a good and cool dude www.gofundme.com/f/help-andre...
Donate to Help Andrew Heal After Accident, organized by SAS Snipes
On Monday night, Andrew stepped onto a crosswalk after seeing the signal light indicate tha… SAS Snipes needs your support for Help Andrew Heal After Accident
www.gofundme.com
December 4, 2024 at 5:11 PM
Help if you can. He's a great person.
I don’t want to hear anyone of you bitch and moan in 2 weeks saying 2024 was so tough.
NO!
You know what happens in January!!!
Technically, 2024 is as good as it’s gonna get for like 5 years.
Cherish 2024.
THEN CONTOUR THE WAR PAINT. KNUCKLE UP. BITE DOWN ON THE MOUTH GUARD.
and just...
NO!
You know what happens in January!!!
Technically, 2024 is as good as it’s gonna get for like 5 years.
Cherish 2024.
THEN CONTOUR THE WAR PAINT. KNUCKLE UP. BITE DOWN ON THE MOUTH GUARD.
and just...
a woman with curly hair says " protect each other " in front of a wall
ALT: a woman with curly hair says " protect each other " in front of a wall
media.tenor.com
December 3, 2024 at 8:36 PM
I don’t want to hear anyone of you bitch and moan in 2 weeks saying 2024 was so tough.
NO!
You know what happens in January!!!
Technically, 2024 is as good as it’s gonna get for like 5 years.
Cherish 2024.
THEN CONTOUR THE WAR PAINT. KNUCKLE UP. BITE DOWN ON THE MOUTH GUARD.
and just...
NO!
You know what happens in January!!!
Technically, 2024 is as good as it’s gonna get for like 5 years.
Cherish 2024.
THEN CONTOUR THE WAR PAINT. KNUCKLE UP. BITE DOWN ON THE MOUTH GUARD.
and just...
Reposted by Dee Ahmed
Black Friday
Blacker Saturday
Bigger and Blacker Sunday
Cyber Monday
Giving Tuesday
WTF Did I Buy Wednesday
Fraudulent Charge Thursday
Blacker Saturday
Bigger and Blacker Sunday
Cyber Monday
Giving Tuesday
WTF Did I Buy Wednesday
Fraudulent Charge Thursday
December 3, 2024 at 8:19 PM
Black Friday
Blacker Saturday
Bigger and Blacker Sunday
Cyber Monday
Giving Tuesday
WTF Did I Buy Wednesday
Fraudulent Charge Thursday
Blacker Saturday
Bigger and Blacker Sunday
Cyber Monday
Giving Tuesday
WTF Did I Buy Wednesday
Fraudulent Charge Thursday
I am done eating fast food for good.
I am now eating fast food for Evil.
I am now eating fast food for Evil.
December 1, 2024 at 12:47 AM
I am done eating fast food for good.
I am now eating fast food for Evil.
I am now eating fast food for Evil.
Reposted by Dee Ahmed
Hey Jokes on Tap is back at Port City in Alexandria tomorrow at 7:30 featuring @olmikeb757.bsky.social @deeahmed.bsky.social
Come out and have fun for once in your life!
Come out and have fun for once in your life!
November 29, 2024 at 4:40 PM
Hey Jokes on Tap is back at Port City in Alexandria tomorrow at 7:30 featuring @olmikeb757.bsky.social @deeahmed.bsky.social
Come out and have fun for once in your life!
Come out and have fun for once in your life!
Quote post yourself from another era.
2016, I was in Puerto Rico for a bachelor party. We wore banana costumes and got into a massive street fight in San Juan. We scattered and were called The Plantain Bandas(Gang). These are the only photos linking me to this event.
2016, I was in Puerto Rico for a bachelor party. We wore banana costumes and got into a massive street fight in San Juan. We scattered and were called The Plantain Bandas(Gang). These are the only photos linking me to this event.
November 25, 2024 at 4:58 PM
Quote post yourself from another era.
2016, I was in Puerto Rico for a bachelor party. We wore banana costumes and got into a massive street fight in San Juan. We scattered and were called The Plantain Bandas(Gang). These are the only photos linking me to this event.
2016, I was in Puerto Rico for a bachelor party. We wore banana costumes and got into a massive street fight in San Juan. We scattered and were called The Plantain Bandas(Gang). These are the only photos linking me to this event.
These stickers are not hitting like they used to.
November 19, 2024 at 2:40 PM
These stickers are not hitting like they used to.
This is how I hold microphones. Please don’t bully me.
November 14, 2024 at 3:37 PM
This is how I hold microphones. Please don’t bully me.
Why does this Adderall taste like I’m going to learn Mandarin today?
a man is using a laptop in front of a wall that says ' i love you '
ALT: a man is using a laptop in front of a wall that says ' i love you '
media.tenor.com
November 14, 2024 at 2:39 PM
Why does this Adderall taste like I’m going to learn Mandarin today?
And he’s back baby!!!!
November 14, 2024 at 3:09 AM
And he’s back baby!!!!
Went to Greece. Found this hat. Never taking it off. ✊🏾🤠
August 18, 2023 at 2:59 PM
Went to Greece. Found this hat. Never taking it off. ✊🏾🤠
You @ 25 vs Your Dad @ 25
Im definitely give my Dad this fade. But, my Mama would beat the shit out of me shortly afterwards. She was an Olympic hopeful in Somalia.
Im definitely give my Dad this fade. But, my Mama would beat the shit out of me shortly afterwards. She was an Olympic hopeful in Somalia.
August 18, 2023 at 12:44 AM
You @ 25 vs Your Dad @ 25
Im definitely give my Dad this fade. But, my Mama would beat the shit out of me shortly afterwards. She was an Olympic hopeful in Somalia.
Im definitely give my Dad this fade. But, my Mama would beat the shit out of me shortly afterwards. She was an Olympic hopeful in Somalia.