David Gardner
@davidgardner.bsky.social
Writer: GQ, NYT, WaPo, Ringer, etc. Shit poster and aspiring shit skeeter.
The football gods punish cowardice
December 7, 2025 at 4:04 AM
The football gods punish cowardice
Big Ten refs are so bad they made these dudes where body cams
December 7, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Big Ten refs are so bad they made these dudes where body cams
Trying to get a consulting contract with Netflix so that I can charge them $25 million to suggest renaming HBO Max to just … HBO
December 5, 2025 at 2:47 PM
Trying to get a consulting contract with Netflix so that I can charge them $25 million to suggest renaming HBO Max to just … HBO
Oh yeah that’s the good stuff
November 27, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Oh yeah that’s the good stuff
It’s giving … thanks
November 27, 2025 at 3:16 PM
It’s giving … thanks
Oh yeah for sure, let me put on my tux to slide into Spirit Airlines seat 26B
Trump's Transportation Secretary on how to improve air travel:
"People dress up like they're going to bed when they fly... We want to push people as we come into a really busy travel season, help people out, be in a good mood, dress up"
"People dress up like they're going to bed when they fly... We want to push people as we come into a really busy travel season, help people out, be in a good mood, dress up"
November 21, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Oh yeah for sure, let me put on my tux to slide into Spirit Airlines seat 26B
Does anyone have the under/over on prison sentence lengths for the NBA FBI arrests?
October 23, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Does anyone have the under/over on prison sentence lengths for the NBA FBI arrests?
Your periodic reminder that for every name you’ve heard — Terry Rozier and Chauncey Billups — there are five support staff members with access to the same information who make 1/100th of their salaries and have every incentive in the world to gamble
October 23, 2025 at 1:16 PM
Your periodic reminder that for every name you’ve heard — Terry Rozier and Chauncey Billups — there are five support staff members with access to the same information who make 1/100th of their salaries and have every incentive in the world to gamble
Me every time I see a college football coach get fired and enjoy those sweet buyout years
October 12, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Me every time I see a college football coach get fired and enjoy those sweet buyout years
My kid slept past 8 a.m. today for the first time in 2.5 years and I feel like I could summit Everest without oxygen
September 20, 2025 at 4:06 PM
My kid slept past 8 a.m. today for the first time in 2.5 years and I feel like I could summit Everest without oxygen
Someone threw a water bottle at Derrick Henry during that TD run, which reminds me of my long-held belief that players should be given the opportunity to fight, at the 50-yard line, any fan who engages in that kind of behavior
September 8, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Someone threw a water bottle at Derrick Henry during that TD run, which reminds me of my long-held belief that players should be given the opportunity to fight, at the 50-yard line, any fan who engages in that kind of behavior
Steve Ballmer’s defense really was just
September 6, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Steve Ballmer’s defense really was just
Mamdani got a 2140 on his SATs? Out of 1600?? What an achievement
July 8, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Mamdani got a 2140 on his SATs? Out of 1600?? What an achievement
Reposted by David Gardner
They finally made the milk from that hotel
July 6, 2025 at 3:42 PM
They finally made the milk from that hotel
For every player whose name you recognize there have gotta be 3 people who work in support roles who are doing the same thing and we’ll never know
DETROIT (AP) — NBA player Malik Beasley under investigation by US District Attorney's office after gambling allegations, AP source says.
June 29, 2025 at 5:32 PM
For every player whose name you recognize there have gotta be 3 people who work in support roles who are doing the same thing and we’ll never know
If what just happened to Mathurin ever happened to me, I wouldn’t walk for six months
June 23, 2025 at 2:29 AM
If what just happened to Mathurin ever happened to me, I wouldn’t walk for six months
Never seen a leg pop like that. Hope I never see something like that again
June 23, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Never seen a leg pop like that. Hope I never see something like that again
Watching Tyrese go down in Game 7
June 23, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Watching Tyrese go down in Game 7
Never too soon to start your holiday shopping (for pizza, pasta & soups)
June 6, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Never too soon to start your holiday shopping (for pizza, pasta & soups)
Did they just call palming? On the MVP? In the Western Conference Finals? In his own arena? In the Year of our Lord 2025?
May 23, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Did they just call palming? On the MVP? In the Western Conference Finals? In his own arena? In the Year of our Lord 2025?
Why they changed it, I can’t say
People just liked it better that way
People just liked it better that way
May 14, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Why they changed it, I can’t say
People just liked it better that way
People just liked it better that way
A great time to reevaluate your personal politics is when you find yourself consistently to the right of the Catholic Church
May 8, 2025 at 7:19 PM
A great time to reevaluate your personal politics is when you find yourself consistently to the right of the Catholic Church
I love TV shows that make me ask questions. Take The Rehearsal Season 2, for example. When I watch that show, I can’t stop asking myself: “What in God’s name is going on right now?”
May 5, 2025 at 4:43 PM
I love TV shows that make me ask questions. Take The Rehearsal Season 2, for example. When I watch that show, I can’t stop asking myself: “What in God’s name is going on right now?”