Dan Telfer
@dantelfer.com
Stand-up Comic / Nerd Poker podcast’s Dungeon Master / Voice Over Person / former MAD Magazine & The Onion editor / currently writing games & scripts
dantelfer.com
dantelfer.com
Pinned
I love the moment in Rings of Power where a young Sauron is at the forge of Eregion with Celebrimbor, and he says—
“Looks like I’m—“
*stares directly into the camera*
“— the LORD of the RINGS.”
Which cues Thin Lizzy’s The Boys Are Back in Town, because of course Amazon can afford to license it.
“Looks like I’m—“
*stares directly into the camera*
“— the LORD of the RINGS.”
Which cues Thin Lizzy’s The Boys Are Back in Town, because of course Amazon can afford to license it.
December 29, 2025 at 5:43 AM
I love the moment in Rings of Power where a young Sauron is at the forge of Eregion with Celebrimbor, and he says—
“Looks like I’m—“
*stares directly into the camera*
“— the LORD of the RINGS.”
Which cues Thin Lizzy’s The Boys Are Back in Town, because of course Amazon can afford to license it.
“Looks like I’m—“
*stares directly into the camera*
“— the LORD of the RINGS.”
Which cues Thin Lizzy’s The Boys Are Back in Town, because of course Amazon can afford to license it.
Reposted by Dan Telfer
Merry Christmas to people with strained families, shitty families, or no family at all. I promise you there are so many of us who are struggling to get through these days, as best we can, and that's enough. You are not alone.❤️
December 25, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Merry Christmas to people with strained families, shitty families, or no family at all. I promise you there are so many of us who are struggling to get through these days, as best we can, and that's enough. You are not alone.❤️
Getting back on dating apps and adding “Kpop Demon Hunters ONLY” to my bio
December 26, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Getting back on dating apps and adding “Kpop Demon Hunters ONLY” to my bio
Going on 3 years since I had enough money to not work every day Christmas week. Y’all being like “just take the week off” — you are not allowed to tell someone that unless you Venmo them $1500
December 24, 2025 at 6:24 AM
Going on 3 years since I had enough money to not work every day Christmas week. Y’all being like “just take the week off” — you are not allowed to tell someone that unless you Venmo them $1500
Having a friend show you their A.I. art is like when a friend forces you to listen to a bad song they wrote.
On an 3.4 string guitar.
With lyrics in three languages, one of them gibberish.
And instead of one friend at a party once in a blue moon, it’s many friends out of nowhere every day.
On an 3.4 string guitar.
With lyrics in three languages, one of them gibberish.
And instead of one friend at a party once in a blue moon, it’s many friends out of nowhere every day.
December 22, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Having a friend show you their A.I. art is like when a friend forces you to listen to a bad song they wrote.
On an 3.4 string guitar.
With lyrics in three languages, one of them gibberish.
And instead of one friend at a party once in a blue moon, it’s many friends out of nowhere every day.
On an 3.4 string guitar.
With lyrics in three languages, one of them gibberish.
And instead of one friend at a party once in a blue moon, it’s many friends out of nowhere every day.
I wonder when everyone will realize— these “bathroom violations” that conservatives project onto trans people?
It was all a complete, obvious con. Conservatives gave themselves a moralistic excuse to violate you in the bathroom.
They’re essentially the only people doing it.
An ABUNDANCE of it.
It was all a complete, obvious con. Conservatives gave themselves a moralistic excuse to violate you in the bathroom.
They’re essentially the only people doing it.
An ABUNDANCE of it.
December 20, 2025 at 9:30 PM
I wonder when everyone will realize— these “bathroom violations” that conservatives project onto trans people?
It was all a complete, obvious con. Conservatives gave themselves a moralistic excuse to violate you in the bathroom.
They’re essentially the only people doing it.
An ABUNDANCE of it.
It was all a complete, obvious con. Conservatives gave themselves a moralistic excuse to violate you in the bathroom.
They’re essentially the only people doing it.
An ABUNDANCE of it.
I keep getting into self-care authors who, one day, are like
"I'm hosting a retreat for women ONLY! All my self-care and healing routines have only ever been for WOMEN. If you are not a woman, what the FUCK are you doing enjoying MY work? Get out of our safe space, OGRE. The age of MAN has ENDED."
"I'm hosting a retreat for women ONLY! All my self-care and healing routines have only ever been for WOMEN. If you are not a woman, what the FUCK are you doing enjoying MY work? Get out of our safe space, OGRE. The age of MAN has ENDED."
December 16, 2025 at 5:16 PM
I keep getting into self-care authors who, one day, are like
"I'm hosting a retreat for women ONLY! All my self-care and healing routines have only ever been for WOMEN. If you are not a woman, what the FUCK are you doing enjoying MY work? Get out of our safe space, OGRE. The age of MAN has ENDED."
"I'm hosting a retreat for women ONLY! All my self-care and healing routines have only ever been for WOMEN. If you are not a woman, what the FUCK are you doing enjoying MY work? Get out of our safe space, OGRE. The age of MAN has ENDED."
Timothée Chalamet is… Sassy Paddle Boy
December 16, 2025 at 6:40 AM
Timothée Chalamet is… Sassy Paddle Boy
Tarantino talks a lot of shit for someone who runs a movie theater better than he can make a movie
December 10, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Tarantino talks a lot of shit for someone who runs a movie theater better than he can make a movie
get someone who looks at you the way Hayley Williams looks at Mirtazapine
December 9, 2025 at 6:32 AM
get someone who looks at you the way Hayley Williams looks at Mirtazapine
I’ve been in love twice, and let me tell you firsthand, it’s predictable and overrated.
“Maybe you’re the common element in these disasters, Dan!”
Ew! I already go to therapy to have someone tell me that!
“Maybe you’re the common element in these disasters, Dan!”
Ew! I already go to therapy to have someone tell me that!
December 8, 2025 at 8:29 PM
I’ve been in love twice, and let me tell you firsthand, it’s predictable and overrated.
“Maybe you’re the common element in these disasters, Dan!”
Ew! I already go to therapy to have someone tell me that!
“Maybe you’re the common element in these disasters, Dan!”
Ew! I already go to therapy to have someone tell me that!
I hope The Devil Wears Prada 2 is just about how ugly this iOS update is
December 8, 2025 at 8:25 PM
I hope The Devil Wears Prada 2 is just about how ugly this iOS update is
I just want to be good enough to pretend everything is okay
December 7, 2025 at 10:44 PM
I just want to be good enough to pretend everything is okay
please do not remove card REMOVE CARD OH GOD HURRY OR YOU WILL DIE
December 7, 2025 at 12:35 AM
please do not remove card REMOVE CARD OH GOD HURRY OR YOU WILL DIE
The fact that all financial assistance has a minimum income requirement is so brutal.
"We're here for you... unless you need us!"
What are you, health insurance?
"We're here for you... unless you need us!"
What are you, health insurance?
December 5, 2025 at 12:36 AM
The fact that all financial assistance has a minimum income requirement is so brutal.
"We're here for you... unless you need us!"
What are you, health insurance?
"We're here for you... unless you need us!"
What are you, health insurance?
Why do I get so many Scam Likely calls offering me a personal loan? Don’t they know I’d prefer a thousands of dollars as a gift
December 4, 2025 at 10:34 PM
Why do I get so many Scam Likely calls offering me a personal loan? Don’t they know I’d prefer a thousands of dollars as a gift
Some artists make great art by overcoming trauma.
Other artists have no compassion, and since they waste zero time thinking about others, they are exceedingly efficient.
Develop a codependent relationship with an artist and find out which is which!
Other artists have no compassion, and since they waste zero time thinking about others, they are exceedingly efficient.
Develop a codependent relationship with an artist and find out which is which!
December 2, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Some artists make great art by overcoming trauma.
Other artists have no compassion, and since they waste zero time thinking about others, they are exceedingly efficient.
Develop a codependent relationship with an artist and find out which is which!
Other artists have no compassion, and since they waste zero time thinking about others, they are exceedingly efficient.
Develop a codependent relationship with an artist and find out which is which!
I loved KPop Demon Hunters, but Mira briefly acting attracted to men was one of the most difficult suspensions of disbelief I have encountered in animation
December 1, 2025 at 6:41 AM
I loved KPop Demon Hunters, but Mira briefly acting attracted to men was one of the most difficult suspensions of disbelief I have encountered in animation
new fork knife (Fortnite) season! Rent is due! Time 2 stream! twitch.tv/TelferDan
TelferDan - Twitch
New fork knife season!
twitch.tv
November 30, 2025 at 3:17 AM
new fork knife (Fortnite) season! Rent is due! Time 2 stream! twitch.tv/TelferDan
There’s a WHOLE LOTTA self-involved folks “practicing radical honesty” before they have the slightest fucking clue what “compassion” is
November 27, 2025 at 1:17 AM
There’s a WHOLE LOTTA self-involved folks “practicing radical honesty” before they have the slightest fucking clue what “compassion” is
I am still staying soft while the world gets hard! PS this means I am also destroyed
November 24, 2025 at 7:33 PM
I am still staying soft while the world gets hard! PS this means I am also destroyed
Weird how everyone suddenly has a “really bad cold” or “allergies are crazy” but it’s “definitely not COVID” so “it’s fine”
November 19, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Weird how everyone suddenly has a “really bad cold” or “allergies are crazy” but it’s “definitely not COVID” so “it’s fine”
I am ready to write a four-part mini-series adaptation of The Hobbit if anyone has $175 million laying around
November 17, 2025 at 10:26 PM
I am ready to write a four-part mini-series adaptation of The Hobbit if anyone has $175 million laying around
Every viral video is AI now, in case you were looking for a final reason to throw this phone of yours into the ocean
November 17, 2025 at 6:47 PM
Every viral video is AI now, in case you were looking for a final reason to throw this phone of yours into the ocean
I don’t care if the Mariah Xmas song sucks. It’s HILARIOUS
November 15, 2025 at 10:45 PM
I don’t care if the Mariah Xmas song sucks. It’s HILARIOUS