Running the Imodium A-D box through the office shredder so the cleaning crew won’t find out about my tummy problems.

Alternatively,

Wordle 1,409 4/6*

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You know what would really make them stop and reflect is if you pointed out their hypocrisy.

Saturn now has 274 moons. Thirty years ago, there were only 62.

Something’s going on here…

When did we begin vaccinating Saturn and with what?

The cool thing about #Philips TVs is that every time it restarts itself for no reason while you’re watching something, it puts up the Philips logo real big while it’s coming back on so you know what kind of TV never to buy again.

Surefire cocktail party conversation starter #34:

“Hey, I’m no political scientist, but maybe we just let fascism run its course…”

FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States

A tiny roomba—like a hockey puck—for countertops.

Audiobooks need to have a warning label if the narrator pronounces HUMAN like YOOMAN.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a declassified World War II-era CIA guide to sabotaging fascism in the workplace has become one of the most popular free ebooks on the internet:

www.404media.co/declassified...

I know it looks like I’m showing solidarity with Palestine, but it’s unintentional; I just happen to wear a lot of Adidas.

Wordle 1,311 2/6*

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People keep posting this image. Each person has some point to make about it, but I would suggest that you just read it out loud in Butthead’s voice.

First day of Class

Instructor (taking attendance): “Kaylie?”

Kaleigh, Kaylee, Kayleigh, Kaeleigh, Cailee, Kaylie, Kalee, Keighlee, and Kailey: “Here!”

Instructor: “Okay that’s everybody, so let’s get started. Welcome to Intro to Porn Acting.”

Deleted my last remaining Meta account today. Instagram isn’t worth my time anyway.

I encourage my followers to do the same—although most of you appear to be cam models, so this may fall on deaf ears.