Those bloody Brits
@cynicalbrit.bsky.social
Film watcher. Book reader. Sci-fi nerd. Gamer. Dad. Husband. Sometimes sarcastic.
Turns out my wife can hear me mutter 'whatever' under my breath, but cant hear me shout 'WHAT' when shes calling me from the kitchen.
December 2, 2024 at 11:12 PM
Turns out my wife can hear me mutter 'whatever' under my breath, but cant hear me shout 'WHAT' when shes calling me from the kitchen.
I have to ask, what the fuck is this 'group chat' i see everyone talking about? I only have 2 friends and they dont even know each other
December 2, 2024 at 9:25 PM
I have to ask, what the fuck is this 'group chat' i see everyone talking about? I only have 2 friends and they dont even know each other
Parents are replacing their coffee machine which is 7yrs old.
Me- thats not old, i have sheets older than that.
Mom- well maybe your sheets arnt getting as much action as our coffee machine.
When your own mother hits you with an espresso shot to the soul 🫣
Me- thats not old, i have sheets older than that.
Mom- well maybe your sheets arnt getting as much action as our coffee machine.
When your own mother hits you with an espresso shot to the soul 🫣
December 2, 2024 at 8:32 PM
Parents are replacing their coffee machine which is 7yrs old.
Me- thats not old, i have sheets older than that.
Mom- well maybe your sheets arnt getting as much action as our coffee machine.
When your own mother hits you with an espresso shot to the soul 🫣
Me- thats not old, i have sheets older than that.
Mom- well maybe your sheets arnt getting as much action as our coffee machine.
When your own mother hits you with an espresso shot to the soul 🫣
A blue whales anus can stretch up to 3.5 feet, making it the second largest asshole next to those people that talk on speakerphone in public.
December 1, 2024 at 12:14 AM
A blue whales anus can stretch up to 3.5 feet, making it the second largest asshole next to those people that talk on speakerphone in public.
The population of Scotland is about 5.2 million. There's about 600 million cats in the world. If every cat decided to invade Scotland, each Scott would have to fight 115 cats and i really dont think they could pull it off..
November 30, 2024 at 11:57 PM
The population of Scotland is about 5.2 million. There's about 600 million cats in the world. If every cat decided to invade Scotland, each Scott would have to fight 115 cats and i really dont think they could pull it off..
Us adults will tell our kids they cant have ice cream for breakfast, then call on the way to work for a large double mocha frappe caramel extra whip cream bukkake from starbucks
November 30, 2024 at 11:53 PM
Us adults will tell our kids they cant have ice cream for breakfast, then call on the way to work for a large double mocha frappe caramel extra whip cream bukkake from starbucks
I'm really good at opening jars.
November 30, 2024 at 11:47 PM
I'm really good at opening jars.
Being an adult means you have a total of 3 friends and they all live in different parts of the country and you periodically send each other videos of weird dogs and say "this made me think of you"
November 30, 2024 at 11:44 PM
Being an adult means you have a total of 3 friends and they all live in different parts of the country and you periodically send each other videos of weird dogs and say "this made me think of you"
Dont know why people think kids learning about gay relationships in school will turn them gay. I learned about world war 2 in school, but am yet to invade Poland.
November 29, 2024 at 10:53 AM
Dont know why people think kids learning about gay relationships in school will turn them gay. I learned about world war 2 in school, but am yet to invade Poland.
Reposted by Those bloody Brits
GIRLFRIEND: I'm leaving you. You're constantly making up ridiculous idioms instead of just using common ones.
ME: That's fine, Denise. There are plenty more little houses on the prairie.
ME: That's fine, Denise. There are plenty more little houses on the prairie.
November 27, 2024 at 1:55 PM
GIRLFRIEND: I'm leaving you. You're constantly making up ridiculous idioms instead of just using common ones.
ME: That's fine, Denise. There are plenty more little houses on the prairie.
ME: That's fine, Denise. There are plenty more little houses on the prairie.
Its wednesday folks, all downhill to the weekend from here!
November 27, 2024 at 9:46 AM
Its wednesday folks, all downhill to the weekend from here!
Asking for a friend.
November 25, 2024 at 6:58 PM
Asking for a friend.
My wife said i need to grow up, but you've have no idea how long i waited for this moment
November 25, 2024 at 1:56 PM
My wife said i need to grow up, but you've have no idea how long i waited for this moment
Reposted by Those bloody Brits
Shoutout to this cunt who just honked up some sick and then, while I was cleaning it up, begged me for treats.
November 25, 2024 at 9:14 AM
Shoutout to this cunt who just honked up some sick and then, while I was cleaning it up, begged me for treats.
This morning i cranked a neighbours petrol mower on the first pull in front of his wife and kids. Yup.
November 25, 2024 at 12:57 AM
This morning i cranked a neighbours petrol mower on the first pull in front of his wife and kids. Yup.
I want a relationship.
*Masturbates*
I dont want a relationship.
*Masturbates*
I dont want a relationship.
November 25, 2024 at 12:53 AM
I want a relationship.
*Masturbates*
I dont want a relationship.
*Masturbates*
I dont want a relationship.
Its not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel really sad around 8pm
November 25, 2024 at 12:18 AM
Its not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel really sad around 8pm
Reposted by Those bloody Brits
November is my favourite month because I’m so attracted to moustaches and prostates.
November 19, 2024 at 7:03 PM
November is my favourite month because I’m so attracted to moustaches and prostates.
Reposted by Those bloody Brits
Opening a fried fish restaurant, calling it KFSea
November 24, 2024 at 11:30 PM
Opening a fried fish restaurant, calling it KFSea
Stay safe this flu season. Secondly, remove your minds from the gutter you degenerates.
November 24, 2024 at 11:31 PM
Stay safe this flu season. Secondly, remove your minds from the gutter you degenerates.
I know eating a second slice of chocolate cake is going to make me feel sick and bloated, but i'm gonna do it anyway.
November 24, 2024 at 5:37 PM
I know eating a second slice of chocolate cake is going to make me feel sick and bloated, but i'm gonna do it anyway.
Having too much sex can cause memory loss. I read that on page 48 of a medical jounal on September 14 2010 at 10.17am.
November 24, 2024 at 5:33 PM
Having too much sex can cause memory loss. I read that on page 48 of a medical jounal on September 14 2010 at 10.17am.
That one aunt or uncle that keeps their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense the older you become.
November 24, 2024 at 5:17 PM
That one aunt or uncle that keeps their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense the older you become.
Reposted by Those bloody Brits
I registered quite a few years ago now and it was incredibly straightforward to do. Please do consider it.
🚨8-year-old Lilian has a rare blood disorder & needs a #lifesaver! Her stem cell donor match fell through, leaving her family devastated💔
Now, she’s back at square one but you can help by registering as a DKMS stem cell donor. It’s easy to do🙏
www.dkms.org.uk/get-involved...
Now, she’s back at square one but you can help by registering as a DKMS stem cell donor. It’s easy to do🙏
www.dkms.org.uk/get-involved...
November 24, 2024 at 3:40 PM
I registered quite a few years ago now and it was incredibly straightforward to do. Please do consider it.