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custardfist.bsky.social
CustardFist
@custardfist.bsky.social
210 followers 160 following 1K posts
I’m a cartoonist from the Netherlands, making mostly silly and unwholesome comics. 😎
https://custardfist.com
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custardfist.bsky.social
’𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙 𝟯𝟳’ 🐝

Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
– - - This is a one panel comic - - - A sexworker on the street is dressed as a professional beekeeper. She leans into the open window of the passenger side of a car and says: “WHAT’S YOUR PLEASURE? HONEY?”
November 10, 2025 at 7:07 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
’𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗥𝗔𝗚𝗘’ ((✊)) !NSFW!

What’s the saying? If you can’t beat ‘em, leave ‘em? 🤷‍♂️

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
- - - This is a NSFW comic strip - - - Page 1/3 A guy is frantically doing doggy style with a girl (our narrator). Narrator: SO THE GUY AND I WERE GOING AT IT… The guy clenches his fist en screams [GAAAAAH] Narrator: … WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE SNAPPED. The guy makes a wild hand gesture near her butt like he’s violently throwing a door shut. Narrator: HE SLAMMED MY VAG SHUT… The guy turns around and walks away, punching down hard on his erect penis with his fist. Narrator: … PUNCHED OUT HIS ERECTION… Page 2/3 The guy walks out the front door naked. Narrator: … AND WALKED OUT NAKED. The guy: THIS SHIT’S IMPOSSIBLE!!! I CAN’T WIN THIS!!! This was all a flashback. We cut to the girl (our narrator), who’s talking to a friend of hers. The friend: WOW. SO HE RAGE QUIT SEX? The girl: YEAH, WEIRD HUH? Page 3/3 The girl and her friend sit there in silence. The girl seems to ponder. The girl: COME TO THINK OF IT… We see another flashback of the guy, aggressively putting on a condom, shouting. The girl: …HE ALSO RAGE STARTED SEX. The guy: GAAAAH!!! LET’S FUCK THIS THING, I DON’T CARE!!! The friend: OH GIRL. RED FLAG!
November 8, 2025 at 2:25 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
’𝙰𝚃𝙼’ 🏧

Just checking the balance on the ol’ bank account.

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
- - - This is a comic strip - - - An old lady is using an ATM. She presses “CHECK BALANCE” on the menu. A little mechanical door opens and a long rod with a soft tip gives the woman a more than firm nudge. The poor woman loses her balance and falls to the ground. The screen says “INSUFFICIENT BALANCE”.
November 6, 2025 at 7:04 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
’𝗗𝗔𝗬𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗦𝗔𝗩𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦’ ⏰

What a difference an hour made. 🎶🎵

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
This is a comic strip - page 1/2 In a wide shot of the backyard, Guy is raking leaves when his neighbor sticks his head over the fence. Neighbor says: “Howdy neighbour!” Guy replies: “Hey neighbor!” Guy and the neighbor stand at the fence. Neighbor says: “Don’t forget to set your clocks back an hour tomorrow morning.” Guy and the neighbor are still at the fence. Neighbor says: “You know… because of daylight savings.” Guy looks annoyed by this news. Guy shouts: “Daylight savings?!? Ha!!!” Guy, looking angry, declares: “More like… daylight… uhmmm…” He gets preoccupied trying to come up with a clever comeback. Guy mutters: “Uuuhhhhh… stupid daylight… savings? No.” Neighbor says: “Well, I gotta go. Bye!” The neighbor walks away, waving friendly. This is a comic strip - page 2/2 Guy walks back toward the house, dragging the rake behind him, lost in thought as he tries to come up with a witty comment about daylight savings. He says: “Daylight… frickin’ daylight… deficit?” Later, Guy is in bed, still thinking. He says: “Daylight… debt?” Guy tosses and turns in bed. He mumbles: “Uhm… daylight… expenses?” After several hours, he’s still wide awake and exhausted. He mutters: “Dumb… daylight… wasting…?” A caption says: “The next morning.” Guy walks into the backyard. His body is slumped, his face tired and unshaven, with dark circles under his eyes. The neighbor greets him and says: “Good morning, neighbor. Say, you don’t look so good.” Guy replies: “Those fricking daylight savings cost me my precious sleep.” Neighbor says: “But we had an extra hour.” Guy shouts: “Precious sleeeeeep!!!”
November 1, 2025 at 2:09 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
’𝑹𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑳𝑬𝑺𝑺 𝑾𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺’ 🌊

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
This is a comic strip: We see a large, old mansion near a forest in autumn. The silhouette of Donavan can be seen standing near one of the big windows. Donavan says: “I’m telling you, Deidre, Uncle Egbert was a terrible businessman.” Inside, we see Donavan up close — a well-dressed young man talking passionately to his wife, Deidre. Donavan continues: “He should’ve sold the old factory when it was still economically viable. But nooo!” An elderly woman in a wheelchair, Aunt Mabel, overhears him and protests. Aunt Mabel says: “If he could hear you right now, he’d be turning over in his grave.” Donavan replies: “Grave? He wasn’t buried, you know. He was cremated.” Aunt Mabel frowns and says: “Then he’d be spinning in his urn.” Donavan corrects her pedantically, with a smirk on his face: “Actually, his ashes were scattered over Raystown Lake.” Aunt Mabel hesitates: “Well… then uhhh…” Outside, we see a duck swimming peacefully on Raystown Lake. Suddenly, a strange wave rises and flips the duck over. The wave appears to have the distorted face of a tormented soul. The duck recovers, looking bewildered, and thinks to itself: “What the duck?”
October 31, 2025 at 6:49 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
’𝑺𝑻𝑼𝑪𝑲 𝑰𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑫𝑹𝒀𝑬𝑹’ 🎃

The #horror!

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
This is a comic strip. Page 1/4 It’s night. A young man is sleeping. All of a sudden he’s awaken by his stepsister's voice. Stepsister: STEPBROTHER… HELP… He gets out of bed and walks in the direction of her voice. Young man: what? What’s wrong? Stepsister: COME HERE, QUICK. The young man finds his stepsister stuck in the dryer. Ass up, in her pink panties. Stepsister: I’M STUCK IN THE DRYER. Page 2/4 The young man gets annoyed. Young man: SERIOUSLY? HOW THE HELL ARE YOU STUCK? AND IT’S 3 AM! The stepsister interrupts him. Stepsister: SHHHH! DON’T WAKE OUR PARENTS. JUST GET ME OUT, OK? Young man: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT. CHILL. He gets on his knees and gets ready to pull her out of the dryer. Page 3/4 Suddenly, the stepsister raises her entire body in the air, her torso splits open and reveals a huge vertical mouth with rows of sharp teeth. The creature (which clearly wasn’t his stepsister after all) grabs the young man, chomps down on him and swallows him whole. Page 4/4 The creature tries to get him down its throat, but it gets stuck. It starts to panic as it’s gasping for air. The creature thinks to itself: “OK… OK… DON’T PANIC.” and in desperation, it starts to call for help. Creature: STEPDAD? HELP.
October 23, 2025 at 5:04 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
’𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙 𝟭𝟭𝟮’ 💦👻

That’s what you get for sneaking up on people, looking like a sheet of tissue paper.

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
This is a one panel comic. A ghost comes out of a teenage boys room, covered in suspicious looking white stains, and says to another ghost: “OKAY, WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T HAUNT A TEENAGE BOY’S ROOM.”
October 18, 2025 at 12:16 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
’𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙 𝟭𝟭𝟭’ 🐟

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
This is a one panel comic. It looks like a movie poster. A cod (a fish) wakes up in bed and pulls the blankets away to reveal the cut off head of a seahorse. The movie is titled: THE CODFATHER
October 15, 2025 at 5:42 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
Little announcement.
ANNOUNCEMENT: TAKING A TWO WEEK BREAK FROM WORK, POSTING COMICS, SOCIAL MEDIA, YOUTUBE, AND THE SHITTY NEWS. LATERS! 👋
September 27, 2025 at 2:23 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
’𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙 𝟭𝟭𝟬’ 🎲

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
This is a one panel comic. A scruffy looking, balding Warhammer nerd is on a blind date with a woman, who is clearly out of his league. He shows her his Warhammer figurines, looks her in the eyes confidently, and says: IF I’M NOT MISTAKEN, YOU SAID IN YOUR PROFILE THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A MAN WHO MAKES AT LEAST SIX FIGURINES A YEAR. WELL… A caption says: HE WAS MISTAKEN THOUGH.
September 25, 2025 at 11:37 AM
custardfist.bsky.social
’𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙 𝟭𝟬𝟵’ 🔋⚡

This joke may be dadly. 😉

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
This is a one panel comic. Caption says: JOHN B. GOODENOUGH, AFTER IMPROVING UPON AN OLDER DESIGN OF A LITHIUM-ION BATTERY. John, looking at his battery’s output, says: “M’YEAH. THIS WILL SUFFICE.”
September 23, 2025 at 4:06 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
Yes. Another edition of the Sunday Comix. I snuck one of my comics in there. I wonder how long it will take before I get caught. 😉
September 21, 2025 at 8:02 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
’𝗜𝗧 𝗗𝗢𝗘𝗦 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧’ ⌚

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
This is a comic strip: A girl is walking through a park. Her smartwatch makes a bleep and starts talking to her. Smartwatch: CONGRATULATIONS. YOU’VE REACHED YOUR GOAL OF 10,000 STEPS TODAY. Girl: NICE. The smartwatch continues. Smartwatch: BY NOW, YOUR INNER THIGHS MUST BE CHAFING A LITTLE. Girl: WHAT? Smartwatch: WHEN WE GET HOME, I CAN RUB LOTION ON THEM IF YOU WANT. Girl: UUUHH… NO? Smartwatch: JUST POUR LOTION ON MY SCREEN AND SHOVE ME BETWEEN YOUR LEGS. Girl: STOP IT! YOU’RE MY STEP COUNTER APP!
September 18, 2025 at 11:25 AM
custardfist.bsky.social
’𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙 𝟯𝟲’

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
This is a one panel comic: A few seniors are sitting in a retirement home. A nurse passes by, holding a tray. Out of the blue, one senior lady yells: MY COLOSTOMY BAG ITCHES!!! The nurse drops her tray.
September 17, 2025 at 4:42 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
Make a band singular

The Village Person 👮🏻‍♂️
realmundiriki.bsky.social Viking Comics by Yoav @realmundiriki.bsky.social · Sep 14
Make a band singular

The Stroke
ufomitzidino.bsky.social Meowtzi Fung Coo (trouble/tribble) @ufomitzidino.bsky.social · Sep 14
Make a band singular:

The Rut
September 14, 2025 at 5:30 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
’𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙 𝟭𝟬𝟴’ 🐕

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
This is a one panel comic: CAPTION: EVERYBODY HATED THEO’S NEW, EXPENSIVE LAB COAT. And then we see a laboratory full of employees, looking angry at Theo, who’s wearing a lab coat made of several labradors.
September 14, 2025 at 12:57 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
’𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙 𝟯𝟱’ 🥃

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
This is a one panel comic: Police officers stand in a bar beside an unconscious criminal, with empty shot glasses scattered across the counter. Caption reads: THE SUSPECT SURRENDERED AFTER MULTIPLE WARNING SHOTS.
September 13, 2025 at 12:56 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
’𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗦’ 🌳🐝

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
This is a comic strip: A man and a woman are relaxing in the summer sun in their backyard. The woman says: “IT SAYS HERE THAT WITH ALL THE BEES DISAPPEARING, MANY TREES MAY GO EXTINCT.” Behind them, a tree looks shocked. The tree pulls his roots out of the ground and runs through the garden, past the couple, scaring them. The tree mounts another tree and they start having tree sex. The woman says: “OH WOW! THE TREES JUST EVOLVED COPULATIVE REPRODUCTION! THEY’RE SAVED!” The man says: “NOT REALLY. THAT BIRCH IS CLUMSILY POKING OUR ASH IN THE TREE HOUSE’S BACKDOOR.”
September 12, 2025 at 5:48 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
’𝗣𝗢𝗢𝗥 𝗦𝗤𝗨𝗜𝗥𝗥𝗘𝗟’ 🐿

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
Two women are parking in a park. Woman: OH MY GOD! THERE’S A SQUIRREL STUCK IN THE BIRDFEEDER! And then we see an old lady, who had been feeding the birds, but is now sitting dead on the bench, with a squirrel’s tail sticking out of her mouth.
September 11, 2025 at 12:19 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
Post a perfect album from the 90s that isn't Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, or Alice in Chains.
September 10, 2025 at 8:19 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
If you see this, post a vampire!
Count von Count counts three wooden stakes through his heart.
September 8, 2025 at 2:46 AM
custardfist.bsky.social
Yessss! Yet another edition of the 𝗦𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘅.
I made the cover. 👉😎👈

Click it. Read it.
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It’s freeeee. 🖐️ 🤩 🤚
September 7, 2025 at 8:23 AM
custardfist.bsky.social
’𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙 𝟭𝟬𝟳’ 😷

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
A brain surgeon is operating on a patient’s brain. He performs an awake craniotomy, a procedure during which the patient is awake and has to perform tasks in order to prevent damaging important parts of the brain. Surgeon: I DON’T GET IT. I’VE REMOVED 90% OF BRAIN MATTER, BUT THIS INFLUENCER IS STILL SPEWING OUT SO-CALLED MEDICAL ADVICE. Influencer: BY PUTTING CLOVES OF GARLIC UNDER YOUR EYELIDS EVERY NIGHT YOU CAN PREVENT EYE CANCER FROM WATCHING SCREENS ALL DAY.
September 6, 2025 at 1:17 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
’𝗗𝗢𝗡’𝗧 𝗣𝗘𝗘 𝗜𝗡 𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗣𝗢𝗢𝗟’ 🏊‍♂️

This goes both ways, you know!

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist
Page 1/2 A guy is swimming in a swimming pool, but he has to pee real bad. Guy: OH MAN, I GOTTA PEE SO BAD. For a brief moment, he considers his options. Guy: SHOULD I DO IT IN THE POOL? He sees a sign that says “we don’t swim in your toilet. Don’t pee in our pool. Thanks, staff“ Guy: NAH. He climbs out of the pool. Guy: I BETTER GO PEE IN MY ROOM. Page 2/2 He walks towards his motel room. Guy: I MEAN, I’M A DECENT PERSON, AND I WOULDN’T WANT TO SWIM IN OTHER PEOPLE‘S PEE. The guy is confronted by a few staff members, swimming in his toilet bowl. Guy: WHAT THE…?!? Employee: SIR, LET ME EXPLAIN… The guy runs back to the pool in anger, being chased by a staff member. Employee: SIR! The guy jumps off the spring board and urinates mid flight into the pool over the other visitors. Guy: LIES!!! ALL LIES!!!
September 4, 2025 at 2:38 PM
custardfist.bsky.social
Well... are they? 🤔
A few philosophers are standing near a hotdog stand, contemplating the true meaning of the sign that says "FREE HOTDOGS".
September 3, 2025 at 6:24 PM