Jessica Albatross
@crawdaddy37.bsky.social
The sexiest bitch at this bingo hall
Please read this
When I first saw Applebee's advertisement for the O-M-Cheeseburger, I was terrified. I trembled. I cowered. Then I opened my heart to it. Here is what it revealed to me. johnpaulbrammer.substack.com/p/god-cheese...
God. Cheese. Burger.
An exercise in ecstatic American theology
johnpaulbrammer.substack.com
January 23, 2026 at 3:51 PM
Please read this
Doing standup on BlueSky Live and absolutely bombing because no one here gets jokes. Yes that includes you
January 18, 2026 at 10:05 PM
Doing standup on BlueSky Live and absolutely bombing because no one here gets jokes. Yes that includes you
Reposted by Jessica Albatross
Butcher offered me some cured meats. I said I didn’t even know they were sick
January 16, 2026 at 2:25 AM
Butcher offered me some cured meats. I said I didn’t even know they were sick
I think it's good actually when I sneeze and hurt half of my body doing so
January 12, 2026 at 5:31 AM
I think it's good actually when I sneeze and hurt half of my body doing so
A Bears-Jaguars Super Bowl would be so funny
January 11, 2026 at 4:19 PM
A Bears-Jaguars Super Bowl would be so funny
Folks,
The KVB - Dayzed
YouTube video by Andrea Polidoro
youtu.be
January 10, 2026 at 8:53 PM
Folks,
Reposted by Jessica Albatross
It would appear that uncritically funding the people that hate us so much that they mint coins commemorating body counts instead of listening to the people who said that the institutional rot within the police is so deeply engrained that they represent a danger to us all has mysteriously backfired.
NOTUS:
Dem House Rep Steven Horsford:
“They called the local sheriff; they showed up and were going to arrest me. These are the same people that I’m supposed to call to coordinate security or to do support when I have a town hall.”
www.notus.org/democrats/me...
Dem House Rep Steven Horsford:
“They called the local sheriff; they showed up and were going to arrest me. These are the same people that I’m supposed to call to coordinate security or to do support when I have a town hall.”
www.notus.org/democrats/me...
Democrats' New Fear: They Can’t Rely on Local Law Enforcement for Protection
“They called the local sheriff; they showed up and were going to arrest me,” said Rep. Steven Horsford.
www.notus.org
September 20, 2025 at 7:56 PM
It would appear that uncritically funding the people that hate us so much that they mint coins commemorating body counts instead of listening to the people who said that the institutional rot within the police is so deeply engrained that they represent a danger to us all has mysteriously backfired.
Bombing on set doing standup at the World Weightlifting Championships: yeesh, tough crowd
January 9, 2026 at 4:58 PM
Bombing on set doing standup at the World Weightlifting Championships: yeesh, tough crowd
Sorry but trying to justify extrajudicial kidnapping is going to be a block from me fuck off
January 4, 2026 at 5:12 PM
Sorry but trying to justify extrajudicial kidnapping is going to be a block from me fuck off
French Onion ramen to distract myself from the horrors
January 4, 2026 at 5:11 AM
French Onion ramen to distract myself from the horrors
Guy who calls himself secretary of war: "this isn't about regime change" every fucking idiot: "wow okay cool"
January 3, 2026 at 2:32 PM
Guy who calls himself secretary of war: "this isn't about regime change" every fucking idiot: "wow okay cool"
You have to stop giving me access to the internet, I can't stress this enough people
January 2, 2026 at 3:47 AM
You have to stop giving me access to the internet, I can't stress this enough people
A t-shirt that says "my body is a machine that turns anxiety into worsened IBS symptoms" but the font is really cool
January 1, 2026 at 4:48 PM
A t-shirt that says "my body is a machine that turns anxiety into worsened IBS symptoms" but the font is really cool
Folks they turned the jingle horse into that sparkly Elmer's glue
December 28, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Folks they turned the jingle horse into that sparkly Elmer's glue
Got the damn Lament Configuration from my secret Santa again
December 26, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Got the damn Lament Configuration from my secret Santa again
My gift to you all is not posting this year folks
December 25, 2025 at 5:45 PM
My gift to you all is not posting this year folks
Reposted by Jessica Albatross
Bridge over the River Jamiroquai
December 24, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Bridge over the River Jamiroquai
Reposted by Jessica Albatross
I don’t mean to sound extreme, but I don’t think we should have torture camps for people with criminal records either.
December 23, 2025 at 1:51 AM
I don’t mean to sound extreme, but I don’t think we should have torture camps for people with criminal records either.
Reposted by Jessica Albatross
"time is controlled by a team of wizards in boulder colorado" yea ok sure. and fort collins is the backup. whatever dude
December 21, 2025 at 12:06 AM
"time is controlled by a team of wizards in boulder colorado" yea ok sure. and fort collins is the backup. whatever dude
Love taking off my hat after a 9 hour shift and looking like a damn tropical bird
December 20, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Love taking off my hat after a 9 hour shift and looking like a damn tropical bird
Not going to name the specific restaurant that made this but the local pizza scene is in fucking shambles
December 19, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Not going to name the specific restaurant that made this but the local pizza scene is in fucking shambles
*Huey Lewis voice* I got a noooooooose bleed
December 18, 2025 at 4:33 AM
*Huey Lewis voice* I got a noooooooose bleed