Your Old Pal
@coachbeardspants.bsky.social
🍷I like the wine, and not the label.
Also...I love this journey for you.
Also...I love this journey for you.
Pinned
My mother was the epitome of kindness and generosity.
She was a lifelong, devout Christian, and did her very best to live up to that standard.
Not long after she died, I found in her desk a book called "2000 Questions About Me."
She hadn't answered ALL the questions, but she did answer this one:
She was a lifelong, devout Christian, and did her very best to live up to that standard.
Not long after she died, I found in her desk a book called "2000 Questions About Me."
She hadn't answered ALL the questions, but she did answer this one:
If ANY of the BILLION Pearl Jam and/or DMB fans can understand even 1% of those lyrics, then they're lying to you. It's zero percent.
“I’m mad I can’t understand Bad Bunny’s lyrics because they’re not in English”
my brother millions of metalheads around the world have been happily listening to incomprehensible Finnish shrieks and Japanese death grunts since we were teens, you’re just boring and racist
my brother millions of metalheads around the world have been happily listening to incomprehensible Finnish shrieks and Japanese death grunts since we were teens, you’re just boring and racist
February 9, 2026 at 3:01 PM
If ANY of the BILLION Pearl Jam and/or DMB fans can understand even 1% of those lyrics, then they're lying to you. It's zero percent.
Yup.
Yup^infinity
Yup^infinity
Benito is a threat b/c he makes art so alluring and enjoyable you want to understand everything about it and then you end up learning about sugar and slavery and colonialism and the Taínos and Hawaii and then you probably have some thoughts of your own, and that's why art is powerful and dangerous
February 9, 2026 at 12:57 PM
Yup.
Yup^infinity
Yup^infinity
This wins today's intrawebs
I want America to be a country where singing Spanish during a 15minute halftime show doesn't cause more shock than rich men r*ping children over decades
#BadBunny #SuperBowl #HalfTimeShow #SuperBowl2026 #SuperBowlLX #NFL #Football #GameDay #RememberTheEpsteinVictims #tRumpIsARapist #FuckIce #IceOut
#BadBunny #SuperBowl #HalfTimeShow #SuperBowl2026 #SuperBowlLX #NFL #Football #GameDay #RememberTheEpsteinVictims #tRumpIsARapist #FuckIce #IceOut
February 9, 2026 at 2:05 AM
This wins today's intrawebs
Bwaaahhahhahhaaaa!
Racism brains exploding across the nation!
Stephen Miller immediately trying to figure out how to deport the NFL.
#Halftime
Racism brains exploding across the nation!
Stephen Miller immediately trying to figure out how to deport the NFL.
#Halftime
February 9, 2026 at 1:43 AM
Bwaaahhahhahhaaaa!
Racism brains exploding across the nation!
Stephen Miller immediately trying to figure out how to deport the NFL.
#Halftime
Racism brains exploding across the nation!
Stephen Miller immediately trying to figure out how to deport the NFL.
#Halftime
Rest in Peace, #WashingtonPost.
Though, you died the day you decided to carry Trump's water thru the entire 2024 election cycle.
You jumped the shark long ago, & deserve every ounce of the disintegration you're about to endure.
Feel bad for the few remaining non-shills that were just fired, tho.
Though, you died the day you decided to carry Trump's water thru the entire 2024 election cycle.
You jumped the shark long ago, & deserve every ounce of the disintegration you're about to endure.
Feel bad for the few remaining non-shills that were just fired, tho.
February 5, 2026 at 2:22 PM
Rest in Peace, #WashingtonPost.
Though, you died the day you decided to carry Trump's water thru the entire 2024 election cycle.
You jumped the shark long ago, & deserve every ounce of the disintegration you're about to endure.
Feel bad for the few remaining non-shills that were just fired, tho.
Though, you died the day you decided to carry Trump's water thru the entire 2024 election cycle.
You jumped the shark long ago, & deserve every ounce of the disintegration you're about to endure.
Feel bad for the few remaining non-shills that were just fired, tho.
I'm "Amazon just delivered my LED magnifying glass, and I'm STOKED" years old.
January 31, 2026 at 11:40 PM
I'm "Amazon just delivered my LED magnifying glass, and I'm STOKED" years old.
We named our cat Vivien Blake, after #CatherineOhara as Moira Rose as Sunrise Bay's Vivien Blake.
January 30, 2026 at 8:18 PM
We named our cat Vivien Blake, after #CatherineOhara as Moira Rose as Sunrise Bay's Vivien Blake.
Chaotic Evil Orange Blob says the quiet part out loud (which is apparently his entire approach to everything):
"Hey Europe, we're the Nazis now. Get out of the way."
"Hey Europe, we're the Nazis now. Get out of the way."
Trump: "No nation is in any position to be able to secure Greenland other than the US. We're a great power. Much greater than people even understand. I think they found that out 2 weeks ago in Venezuela. We saw this in World War 2 when Denmark fell to Germany after just 6 hours of fighting."
January 21, 2026 at 3:05 PM
Chaotic Evil Orange Blob says the quiet part out loud (which is apparently his entire approach to everything):
"Hey Europe, we're the Nazis now. Get out of the way."
"Hey Europe, we're the Nazis now. Get out of the way."
All this, right here.
It’s crazy how it’s suddenly “wow we live in a police state” when it happens to white people
January 16, 2026 at 4:40 PM
All this, right here.
ICE is the only job where you're required to dress like you've never had a job...and then cover that with an entire army surplus store.
Also, release the Epstein files.
Also, release the Epstein files.
January 16, 2026 at 3:50 PM
ICE is the only job where you're required to dress like you've never had a job...and then cover that with an entire army surplus store.
Also, release the Epstein files.
Also, release the Epstein files.
I'm old enough to remember when Conan O'Brien was actually funny.
January 12, 2026 at 2:54 AM
I'm old enough to remember when Conan O'Brien was actually funny.
In case anyone was wondering where all the obnoxiously vocal, anti-tyranny, gun-nut, ammo sexual, voices have gone: they all work for #ICE now, and they're much harder to hear from behind their Murderwear™ facemasks.
January 8, 2026 at 3:15 AM
In case anyone was wondering where all the obnoxiously vocal, anti-tyranny, gun-nut, ammo sexual, voices have gone: they all work for #ICE now, and they're much harder to hear from behind their Murderwear™ facemasks.
It's almost like people of color have been screaming for decades about law enforcement getting away with murdering anyone they want.
January 8, 2026 at 2:33 AM
It's almost like people of color have been screaming for decades about law enforcement getting away with murdering anyone they want.
As we know, #Trump, like a swamp creature composed entirely of human feces, ruins literally everything he touches.
So, let's just let him HAVE The Kennedy Center. He's already soiled it beyond redemption. Instead, let's just create a NEW venue called The REAL Kennedy Center, and fuck MAGA forever.
So, let's just let him HAVE The Kennedy Center. He's already soiled it beyond redemption. Instead, let's just create a NEW venue called The REAL Kennedy Center, and fuck MAGA forever.
January 4, 2026 at 2:30 AM
As we know, #Trump, like a swamp creature composed entirely of human feces, ruins literally everything he touches.
So, let's just let him HAVE The Kennedy Center. He's already soiled it beyond redemption. Instead, let's just create a NEW venue called The REAL Kennedy Center, and fuck MAGA forever.
So, let's just let him HAVE The Kennedy Center. He's already soiled it beyond redemption. Instead, let's just create a NEW venue called The REAL Kennedy Center, and fuck MAGA forever.
By being super shady, lying lawbreakers who got tired of pretending they didn't have them.
How does one stumble upon a million more documents?
December 24, 2025 at 11:10 PM
By being super shady, lying lawbreakers who got tired of pretending they didn't have them.
If you're watching the #KennedyCenter Honors tonight, you're a rage-porn addicted dipshit.
Find something less painful to do with your time, like chewing glass.
Find something less painful to do with your time, like chewing glass.
December 24, 2025 at 1:46 AM
If you're watching the #KennedyCenter Honors tonight, you're a rage-porn addicted dipshit.
Find something less painful to do with your time, like chewing glass.
Find something less painful to do with your time, like chewing glass.
Where'd all them #pizzagate windbags go? You'd think they'd be louder than ever, now!
Go fucking figure.
Go fucking figure.
December 22, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Where'd all them #pizzagate windbags go? You'd think they'd be louder than ever, now!
Go fucking figure.
Go fucking figure.
Any artist currently considering performing at the #KennedyCenter should seriously evaluate their life choices right now (I feel for you, all you NSO musicians).
I see that the infinitely mediocre Bro's Bro Adam Carolla is performing there in January. That shit fits like a glove, right there.
I see that the infinitely mediocre Bro's Bro Adam Carolla is performing there in January. That shit fits like a glove, right there.
December 21, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Any artist currently considering performing at the #KennedyCenter should seriously evaluate their life choices right now (I feel for you, all you NSO musicians).
I see that the infinitely mediocre Bro's Bro Adam Carolla is performing there in January. That shit fits like a glove, right there.
I see that the infinitely mediocre Bro's Bro Adam Carolla is performing there in January. That shit fits like a glove, right there.
Just a reminder: #BillClinton, while he's no PoopyPants Von CheetoFace, is still a slimy sack of shit who deserves every last ounce of scrutiny and outrage over his connections to Epstein.
Thank you for attending my TedTalk.
Thank you for attending my TedTalk.
December 20, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Just a reminder: #BillClinton, while he's no PoopyPants Von CheetoFace, is still a slimy sack of shit who deserves every last ounce of scrutiny and outrage over his connections to Epstein.
Thank you for attending my TedTalk.
Thank you for attending my TedTalk.
December 15, 2025 at 6:04 PM
#TheAbandons might be the most poorly written sack of dog turds ever produced by Netflix.
Holy hell.
How do adult professionals put out this garbage and still have jobs? It's like every western ever written threw up onto a script and everyone was like, "Shit! Let's do it...terribly!"
Holy hell.
How do adult professionals put out this garbage and still have jobs? It's like every western ever written threw up onto a script and everyone was like, "Shit! Let's do it...terribly!"
December 8, 2025 at 9:28 PM
#TheAbandons might be the most poorly written sack of dog turds ever produced by Netflix.
Holy hell.
How do adult professionals put out this garbage and still have jobs? It's like every western ever written threw up onto a script and everyone was like, "Shit! Let's do it...terribly!"
Holy hell.
How do adult professionals put out this garbage and still have jobs? It's like every western ever written threw up onto a script and everyone was like, "Shit! Let's do it...terribly!"
The fact that Spain is mad they can't loot the #SanJose is hilarious.
"HEY! We legit enslaved, murdered, raped, and manically subjugated an ENTIRE indigenous population for DECADES to accumulate all this stolen gold! How dare you tell us we can't steal it yet again!"
"HEY! We legit enslaved, murdered, raped, and manically subjugated an ENTIRE indigenous population for DECADES to accumulate all this stolen gold! How dare you tell us we can't steal it yet again!"
December 8, 2025 at 5:03 PM
The fact that Spain is mad they can't loot the #SanJose is hilarious.
"HEY! We legit enslaved, murdered, raped, and manically subjugated an ENTIRE indigenous population for DECADES to accumulate all this stolen gold! How dare you tell us we can't steal it yet again!"
"HEY! We legit enslaved, murdered, raped, and manically subjugated an ENTIRE indigenous population for DECADES to accumulate all this stolen gold! How dare you tell us we can't steal it yet again!"
Hey Georgia! How's it feel to watch your grifting grifter of a representative grift her way right out the door, just in the nick of time for one final, lifelong grift?
Almost seems like y'all like electing grifters, or some such.
Almost seems like y'all like electing grifters, or some such.
November 24, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Hey Georgia! How's it feel to watch your grifting grifter of a representative grift her way right out the door, just in the nick of time for one final, lifelong grift?
Almost seems like y'all like electing grifters, or some such.
Almost seems like y'all like electing grifters, or some such.
Apparently, the closer you get to the playoffs, the less moving screens are illegal.
When you're actually IN the playoffs, moving screens are legit never ever ever called.
Talking to you, #WNBA.
When you're actually IN the playoffs, moving screens are legit never ever ever called.
Talking to you, #WNBA.
September 21, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Apparently, the closer you get to the playoffs, the less moving screens are illegal.
When you're actually IN the playoffs, moving screens are legit never ever ever called.
Talking to you, #WNBA.
When you're actually IN the playoffs, moving screens are legit never ever ever called.
Talking to you, #WNBA.
Wow. Charlie Kirk's killer seems to be a straight, white, 20-something, male, with easy access to guns.
Who could have possibly predicted?
Oh...everyone.
Who could have possibly predicted?
Oh...everyone.
September 12, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Wow. Charlie Kirk's killer seems to be a straight, white, 20-something, male, with easy access to guns.
Who could have possibly predicted?
Oh...everyone.
Who could have possibly predicted?
Oh...everyone.