Chris Fletcher
@classicfletcher.bsky.social
Writer, teacher, tea drinker.
I work with fourth graders during the day and teenagers in the evening.
I write horror movies, twisted stories, and most things in between.
US/UK citizen, proud liberal, husband, father, and dog person.
I work with fourth graders during the day and teenagers in the evening.
I write horror movies, twisted stories, and most things in between.
US/UK citizen, proud liberal, husband, father, and dog person.
Saw the police report for my rear-end accident.
This muh’fucker told the cops I “stopped suddenly” - I didn’t. I was slowed in a yield lane.
And that he “didn’t know he hit me”. Yet he ran.
Neither of those things are true.
The lack of responsibility is staggering.
This muh’fucker told the cops I “stopped suddenly” - I didn’t. I was slowed in a yield lane.
And that he “didn’t know he hit me”. Yet he ran.
Neither of those things are true.
The lack of responsibility is staggering.
November 18, 2025 at 1:23 PM
Saw the police report for my rear-end accident.
This muh’fucker told the cops I “stopped suddenly” - I didn’t. I was slowed in a yield lane.
And that he “didn’t know he hit me”. Yet he ran.
Neither of those things are true.
The lack of responsibility is staggering.
This muh’fucker told the cops I “stopped suddenly” - I didn’t. I was slowed in a yield lane.
And that he “didn’t know he hit me”. Yet he ran.
Neither of those things are true.
The lack of responsibility is staggering.
In reading class.
4th grader (reading): Mr. Fletcher, what’s a crow-bat?
Me: A what now?
4g: A crow-bat.
Me: I’m not sure. Sounds pretty scary. Lemme see the book.
…
Me: Ah. That says “acrobat”.
4th grader (reading): Mr. Fletcher, what’s a crow-bat?
Me: A what now?
4g: A crow-bat.
Me: I’m not sure. Sounds pretty scary. Lemme see the book.
…
Me: Ah. That says “acrobat”.
November 17, 2025 at 10:28 PM
In reading class.
4th grader (reading): Mr. Fletcher, what’s a crow-bat?
Me: A what now?
4g: A crow-bat.
Me: I’m not sure. Sounds pretty scary. Lemme see the book.
…
Me: Ah. That says “acrobat”.
4th grader (reading): Mr. Fletcher, what’s a crow-bat?
Me: A what now?
4g: A crow-bat.
Me: I’m not sure. Sounds pretty scary. Lemme see the book.
…
Me: Ah. That says “acrobat”.
Apparently one of my fourth graders saw me talking to the cop by the side of the road after my accident this weekend.
He came bounding up to me yesterday morning.
Him: “Mr. Fletcher! I SAW you!”
Me: “What, out in the world?”
Him: “Uh huh.”
Me: “What was I doing?”
Him: “Getting arrested!”
He came bounding up to me yesterday morning.
Him: “Mr. Fletcher! I SAW you!”
Me: “What, out in the world?”
Him: “Uh huh.”
Me: “What was I doing?”
Him: “Getting arrested!”
November 4, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Apparently one of my fourth graders saw me talking to the cop by the side of the road after my accident this weekend.
He came bounding up to me yesterday morning.
Him: “Mr. Fletcher! I SAW you!”
Me: “What, out in the world?”
Him: “Uh huh.”
Me: “What was I doing?”
Him: “Getting arrested!”
He came bounding up to me yesterday morning.
Him: “Mr. Fletcher! I SAW you!”
Me: “What, out in the world?”
Him: “Uh huh.”
Me: “What was I doing?”
Him: “Getting arrested!”
The end of Daylight Savings always brings the same question.
Do I let the clock in my car be wrong for six months, or do I dig out the manual?
Do I let the clock in my car be wrong for six months, or do I dig out the manual?
November 2, 2025 at 11:07 PM
The end of Daylight Savings always brings the same question.
Do I let the clock in my car be wrong for six months, or do I dig out the manual?
Do I let the clock in my car be wrong for six months, or do I dig out the manual?
Just got rear ended on the way home from work. Nothing serious - a minor fender bender. Impact unseated my rear bumper.
However, this motherfucker FLED.
Why yes, officer. I did get his plates.
However, this motherfucker FLED.
Why yes, officer. I did get his plates.
November 1, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Just got rear ended on the way home from work. Nothing serious - a minor fender bender. Impact unseated my rear bumper.
However, this motherfucker FLED.
Why yes, officer. I did get his plates.
However, this motherfucker FLED.
Why yes, officer. I did get his plates.
Not that anyone asked, but.
The new Fun Lovin’ Criminals album absolutely fucking rips.
The new Fun Lovin’ Criminals album absolutely fucking rips.
A Matter of Time
open.spotify.com
November 1, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Not that anyone asked, but.
The new Fun Lovin’ Criminals album absolutely fucking rips.
The new Fun Lovin’ Criminals album absolutely fucking rips.
4th grader: Mr. Fletcher, my calculator is broken.
Me: How so?
4g: This says 9 minus 7 is 2, but that’s wrong. It should say 3.
Me: Should it?
4g: … Oh. It’s 2. Is… is it Friday today?
Me: Uh huh.
4g: That’s good.
Me: How so?
4g: This says 9 minus 7 is 2, but that’s wrong. It should say 3.
Me: Should it?
4g: … Oh. It’s 2. Is… is it Friday today?
Me: Uh huh.
4g: That’s good.
October 24, 2025 at 4:35 PM
4th grader: Mr. Fletcher, my calculator is broken.
Me: How so?
4g: This says 9 minus 7 is 2, but that’s wrong. It should say 3.
Me: Should it?
4g: … Oh. It’s 2. Is… is it Friday today?
Me: Uh huh.
4g: That’s good.
Me: How so?
4g: This says 9 minus 7 is 2, but that’s wrong. It should say 3.
Me: Should it?
4g: … Oh. It’s 2. Is… is it Friday today?
Me: Uh huh.
4g: That’s good.
I often wish I lived in a world where Firefly ran for four seasons.
October 16, 2025 at 3:24 AM
I often wish I lived in a world where Firefly ran for four seasons.
Gotta say, this “6-7” shit is absolutely tiresome.
October 14, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Gotta say, this “6-7” shit is absolutely tiresome.
Unsolicited Glick pic.
October 13, 2025 at 10:01 PM
Unsolicited Glick pic.
My Wordle today sounds like the title of a children’s book.
October 13, 2025 at 9:50 PM
My Wordle today sounds like the title of a children’s book.
It’s a teacher training day today, and our trainer is a question-talker.
“Is this ideal? No.”
“Can we find better ways to address such a situation? Yes.”
“Should you seek assistance of this happens? Absolutely.”
Not gonna lie; it’s a little much.
“Is this ideal? No.”
“Can we find better ways to address such a situation? Yes.”
“Should you seek assistance of this happens? Absolutely.”
Not gonna lie; it’s a little much.
October 13, 2025 at 2:15 PM
It’s a teacher training day today, and our trainer is a question-talker.
“Is this ideal? No.”
“Can we find better ways to address such a situation? Yes.”
“Should you seek assistance of this happens? Absolutely.”
Not gonna lie; it’s a little much.
“Is this ideal? No.”
“Can we find better ways to address such a situation? Yes.”
“Should you seek assistance of this happens? Absolutely.”
Not gonna lie; it’s a little much.
Ooh I can play this one.
I’ve never seen the Godfather movies. Or The Wire.
No actual reason. I just… haven’t.
I’ve never seen the Godfather movies. Or The Wire.
No actual reason. I just… haven’t.
I haven't seen Back to the Future or The Goonies, or any of the big family films of the '80s except Star Wars and ET (once, I didn't like it). And I deliberately kept not watching them when I wrote a middle grade set in '86, because I didn't want to give readers homework.
Inspired by a post I just saw in which someone admitted they hadn’t seen a single episode of Friends nor the film Love Actually… what cultural hole do you have that’s a bit weird for your generation?
I’ll go first: I haven’t seen Dirty Dancing.
I’ll go first: I haven’t seen Dirty Dancing.
October 6, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Ooh I can play this one.
I’ve never seen the Godfather movies. Or The Wire.
No actual reason. I just… haven’t.
I’ve never seen the Godfather movies. Or The Wire.
No actual reason. I just… haven’t.
I have always championed the Xbox. Always. Hell, I even loved my Windows Phone.
But a 50% price increase to Game Pass?
And for what? Adding old Ubisoft games and some Fortnite shit I’ll never play?
Fuck that.
I’m done. Cancelled my subscription.
#gamersky
But a 50% price increase to Game Pass?
And for what? Adding old Ubisoft games and some Fortnite shit I’ll never play?
Fuck that.
I’m done. Cancelled my subscription.
#gamersky
It’s Time To Get Rid Of Your Xbox Game Pass Ultimate Subscription After Massive Price Increase
Microsoft's Xbox Game Pass subscription price hike is a desperate, greedy imposition and a broken promise to gamers who supported this model.
www.forbes.com
October 4, 2025 at 1:53 PM
I have always championed the Xbox. Always. Hell, I even loved my Windows Phone.
But a 50% price increase to Game Pass?
And for what? Adding old Ubisoft games and some Fortnite shit I’ll never play?
Fuck that.
I’m done. Cancelled my subscription.
#gamersky
But a 50% price increase to Game Pass?
And for what? Adding old Ubisoft games and some Fortnite shit I’ll never play?
Fuck that.
I’m done. Cancelled my subscription.
#gamersky
October 3rd is World Smile Day, apparently.
October 3, 2025 at 10:33 PM
October 3rd is World Smile Day, apparently.
I hate it when we lose the good ones.
Jane Goodall, ethologist and conservationist, has died. She was 91
October 1, 2025 at 7:20 PM
I hate it when we lose the good ones.
“For the love of potatoes, can you please listen?”
- A teacher this morning in fourth grade.
I fell the frustration, I do, but I’m also a little confused.
- A teacher this morning in fourth grade.
I fell the frustration, I do, but I’m also a little confused.
September 30, 2025 at 1:33 PM
“For the love of potatoes, can you please listen?”
- A teacher this morning in fourth grade.
I fell the frustration, I do, but I’m also a little confused.
- A teacher this morning in fourth grade.
I fell the frustration, I do, but I’m also a little confused.
Th Xbox Series X, a five-year-old console, is gonna be $150 more expensive than when it launched. That’s fucking ridiculous.
I have a Series S, and I’m a devout Xbox gamer, but I won’t be upgrading anytime soon.
What the actual.
#gamesky
I have a Series S, and I’m a devout Xbox gamer, but I won’t be upgrading anytime soon.
What the actual.
#gamesky
Microsoft is increasing Xbox Series X|S prices in the US again
Microsoft has announced that due to the “macroeconomic environment” in the US, it is once again raising Xbox Series X|S console prices in the region.
www.trueachievements.com
September 22, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Th Xbox Series X, a five-year-old console, is gonna be $150 more expensive than when it launched. That’s fucking ridiculous.
I have a Series S, and I’m a devout Xbox gamer, but I won’t be upgrading anytime soon.
What the actual.
#gamesky
I have a Series S, and I’m a devout Xbox gamer, but I won’t be upgrading anytime soon.
What the actual.
#gamesky
I wonder if tomorrow’s Rapture will be as successful as the last few.
September 22, 2025 at 5:24 PM
I wonder if tomorrow’s Rapture will be as successful as the last few.
What in the ever loving fascist fuck.
Pentagon Steps Up Media Restrictions, Now Requiring Approval Before Reporting Even Unclassified Info
The Pentagon is stepping up restrictions on the media by requiring journalists to sign a pledge not to report on information that has not been authorized for release.
www.huffpost.com
September 21, 2025 at 2:13 PM
What in the ever loving fascist fuck.
One simple sentence and I suddenly and quite viscerally miss the Nineties.
I want to be part of the Luddite Club.
September 17, 2025 at 3:03 AM
One simple sentence and I suddenly and quite viscerally miss the Nineties.
“Hurry the hell up, dude,” I yell to my 8yo. “We’ll both be late for school.”
VO: But, as every morning, up he certainly did not hurry.
VO: But, as every morning, up he certainly did not hurry.
September 15, 2025 at 12:20 PM
“Hurry the hell up, dude,” I yell to my 8yo. “We’ll both be late for school.”
VO: But, as every morning, up he certainly did not hurry.
VO: But, as every morning, up he certainly did not hurry.
That moment before jumping in the shower where you just… don’t wanna get wet.
September 15, 2025 at 1:26 AM
That moment before jumping in the shower where you just… don’t wanna get wet.
My 8yo watches a bunch of different animated shows. I can’t keep track.
Invariably though, at some point I’ll walk past and say “Hey, that voice is Clancy Brown.”
Invariably though, at some point I’ll walk past and say “Hey, that voice is Clancy Brown.”
September 14, 2025 at 1:15 PM
My 8yo watches a bunch of different animated shows. I can’t keep track.
Invariably though, at some point I’ll walk past and say “Hey, that voice is Clancy Brown.”
Invariably though, at some point I’ll walk past and say “Hey, that voice is Clancy Brown.”
I was Day One on Borderlands 1, 2, Pre-Sequel, and 3.
I don’t have Borderlands 4 yet. Not because I don’t wanna, but because I’m working seven days a week.
Adulting sucks.
I don’t have Borderlands 4 yet. Not because I don’t wanna, but because I’m working seven days a week.
Adulting sucks.
September 14, 2025 at 1:05 PM
I was Day One on Borderlands 1, 2, Pre-Sequel, and 3.
I don’t have Borderlands 4 yet. Not because I don’t wanna, but because I’m working seven days a week.
Adulting sucks.
I don’t have Borderlands 4 yet. Not because I don’t wanna, but because I’m working seven days a week.
Adulting sucks.