Chris Patterson
@chriswritesplays.bsky.social
Playwright and Screenwriter. Semi-retired Actor. Satirist. Harlem, NYC
Business inquiries through Email. DM's open.
Business inquiries through Email. DM's open.
Pinned
"Writing is not a real job!"
Me: "You like reading books though?"
"Yes, That is correct."
Me: "Ok, Follow up question... Are you (bleeping) with us?"
#PeaceAndQuiet2026
Me: "You like reading books though?"
"Yes, That is correct."
Me: "Ok, Follow up question... Are you (bleeping) with us?"
#PeaceAndQuiet2026
This is weird.
I'm in a good mood today.
I'm not used to this...
I'm in a good mood today.
I'm not used to this...
November 15, 2025 at 10:33 PM
This is weird.
I'm in a good mood today.
I'm not used to this...
I'm in a good mood today.
I'm not used to this...
I feel seen and heard!
I also think I'm a side...
I also think I'm a side...
Bi guys can be sides, tops and asexual, not just bottoms
Bi girls can be butch and love strap-ons, not just femmes
Sometimes we're fluid and just gay for a person, doesn't mean we're experimenting
Sex is infinite; don't love what bi people put out while putting us into boxes
Bi girls can be butch and love strap-ons, not just femmes
Sometimes we're fluid and just gay for a person, doesn't mean we're experimenting
Sex is infinite; don't love what bi people put out while putting us into boxes
November 15, 2025 at 6:22 AM
I feel seen and heard!
I also think I'm a side...
I also think I'm a side...
Goodnight, my degenerates. 💕
I'm gonna get baked and play GTA 5...
I'm gonna get baked and play GTA 5...
November 15, 2025 at 5:55 AM
Goodnight, my degenerates. 💕
I'm gonna get baked and play GTA 5...
I'm gonna get baked and play GTA 5...
Sometimes, I just wish I could yell from the rooftops:
"I'M BISEXUAL!"
And just look down at people's reactions... 🤣
"I'M BISEXUAL!"
And just look down at people's reactions... 🤣
November 15, 2025 at 5:45 AM
Sometimes, I just wish I could yell from the rooftops:
"I'M BISEXUAL!"
And just look down at people's reactions... 🤣
"I'M BISEXUAL!"
And just look down at people's reactions... 🤣
You fucking rule! 🤘🏾
These posts are brought to you by Friday night, wine, and my buddy @chriswritesplays.bsky.social
November 15, 2025 at 5:18 AM
You fucking rule! 🤘🏾
Sigh...
Things are rough out there. I just hope you find what little joy you can in this world. Be nice to others, they shall be nice to you.
My empathy battery is at 20% and it is disturbing.
Things are rough out there. I just hope you find what little joy you can in this world. Be nice to others, they shall be nice to you.
My empathy battery is at 20% and it is disturbing.
November 15, 2025 at 5:17 AM
Sigh...
Things are rough out there. I just hope you find what little joy you can in this world. Be nice to others, they shall be nice to you.
My empathy battery is at 20% and it is disturbing.
Things are rough out there. I just hope you find what little joy you can in this world. Be nice to others, they shall be nice to you.
My empathy battery is at 20% and it is disturbing.
"What radicalized you?"
Drugs!
I was on a lot of drugs in my twenties. God, I miss drugs... 🤣
Drugs!
I was on a lot of drugs in my twenties. God, I miss drugs... 🤣
November 15, 2025 at 5:07 AM
"What radicalized you?"
Drugs!
I was on a lot of drugs in my twenties. God, I miss drugs... 🤣
Drugs!
I was on a lot of drugs in my twenties. God, I miss drugs... 🤣
Learning to let things go was VERY important for my self-care routine...
November 15, 2025 at 5:04 AM
Learning to let things go was VERY important for my self-care routine...
I am no longer the brash, brazen alcoholic in their twenties.
I am now the brash, brazen alcoholic in their 30's.
You- You gotta meet me halfway here, Honey. 🤣
I am now the brash, brazen alcoholic in their 30's.
You- You gotta meet me halfway here, Honey. 🤣
November 15, 2025 at 5:00 AM
I am no longer the brash, brazen alcoholic in their twenties.
I am now the brash, brazen alcoholic in their 30's.
You- You gotta meet me halfway here, Honey. 🤣
I am now the brash, brazen alcoholic in their 30's.
You- You gotta meet me halfway here, Honey. 🤣
The point I'm trying to make is, "Give it a listen." If someone says, "But what ABOUT-"
Ignore them. Just- just ignore them.
They are gold medalists in mental gymnastics. Just let it go...
Ignore them. Just- just ignore them.
They are gold medalists in mental gymnastics. Just let it go...
November 15, 2025 at 4:58 AM
The point I'm trying to make is, "Give it a listen." If someone says, "But what ABOUT-"
Ignore them. Just- just ignore them.
They are gold medalists in mental gymnastics. Just let it go...
Ignore them. Just- just ignore them.
They are gold medalists in mental gymnastics. Just let it go...
Fun fact about myself:
When I was in my twenties, and I was wrong? I used to get mad. I used to shout down opinions.
In my thirties? I stop and listen. I read what people say before I shout at them.
Then I realize their opinions are stupid as fuck and I just laugh and laugh and laugh...
When I was in my twenties, and I was wrong? I used to get mad. I used to shout down opinions.
In my thirties? I stop and listen. I read what people say before I shout at them.
Then I realize their opinions are stupid as fuck and I just laugh and laugh and laugh...
November 15, 2025 at 4:55 AM
Fun fact about myself:
When I was in my twenties, and I was wrong? I used to get mad. I used to shout down opinions.
In my thirties? I stop and listen. I read what people say before I shout at them.
Then I realize their opinions are stupid as fuck and I just laugh and laugh and laugh...
When I was in my twenties, and I was wrong? I used to get mad. I used to shout down opinions.
In my thirties? I stop and listen. I read what people say before I shout at them.
Then I realize their opinions are stupid as fuck and I just laugh and laugh and laugh...
"What radicalized you?"
Thinking for my fucking self. That's what radicalized me...
Thinking for my fucking self. That's what radicalized me...
November 15, 2025 at 4:52 AM
"What radicalized you?"
Thinking for my fucking self. That's what radicalized me...
Thinking for my fucking self. That's what radicalized me...
I love the question, "What radicalized you?"
I LOVE this question.
What radicalized me?
THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION! GIRL, I AM OLD! 🤣
I LOVE this question.
What radicalized me?
THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION! GIRL, I AM OLD! 🤣
November 15, 2025 at 4:50 AM
I love the question, "What radicalized you?"
I LOVE this question.
What radicalized me?
THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION! GIRL, I AM OLD! 🤣
I LOVE this question.
What radicalized me?
THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION! GIRL, I AM OLD! 🤣
This is the part where I acknowledge that I'm a lot smarter than the average bear...
Because I don't like Republicans. 🤫
Because I don't like Republicans. 🤫
November 15, 2025 at 4:49 AM
This is the part where I acknowledge that I'm a lot smarter than the average bear...
Because I don't like Republicans. 🤫
Because I don't like Republicans. 🤫
When I see someone I like on Twitter following me here:
a man in a white shirt is saying i know that ain t who i think it is
ALT: a man in a white shirt is saying i know that ain t who i think it is
media.tenor.com
November 15, 2025 at 4:26 AM
When I see someone I like on Twitter following me here:
Phone calls. Letters. Documents. Video calls. Meetings.
90% of being an adult is fucking paper work...
90% of being an adult is fucking paper work...
November 14, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Phone calls. Letters. Documents. Video calls. Meetings.
90% of being an adult is fucking paper work...
90% of being an adult is fucking paper work...
Every single time I get a letter in the mail, I die a little inside...
"What is this? 1986? I don't do letters, Lady! I'm all digital."
-Dee Reynolds, IASIP
"What is this? 1986? I don't do letters, Lady! I'm all digital."
-Dee Reynolds, IASIP
November 13, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Every single time I get a letter in the mail, I die a little inside...
"What is this? 1986? I don't do letters, Lady! I'm all digital."
-Dee Reynolds, IASIP
"What is this? 1986? I don't do letters, Lady! I'm all digital."
-Dee Reynolds, IASIP
I have something that AI could never replicate.
Bad first drafts!
*Walks out the room*
Bad first drafts!
*Walks out the room*
November 9, 2025 at 10:37 PM
I have something that AI could never replicate.
Bad first drafts!
*Walks out the room*
Bad first drafts!
*Walks out the room*
19 year old me: "This is the greatest script I will ever write! My first script is a banger!"
33 year old me: "Girl, You THOUGHT!"
33 year old me: "Girl, You THOUGHT!"
November 9, 2025 at 10:32 PM
19 year old me: "This is the greatest script I will ever write! My first script is a banger!"
33 year old me: "Girl, You THOUGHT!"
33 year old me: "Girl, You THOUGHT!"
It's good to look back on my old writing and say to myself, "Wow... That script sucked!"
Girl! 🤣
Girl! 🤣
November 9, 2025 at 10:21 PM
It's good to look back on my old writing and say to myself, "Wow... That script sucked!"
Girl! 🤣
Girl! 🤣
I read and criticized my own work today.
I demand validation in the form of social media likes! 🤣
I demand validation in the form of social media likes! 🤣
November 9, 2025 at 9:54 PM
I read and criticized my own work today.
I demand validation in the form of social media likes! 🤣
I demand validation in the form of social media likes! 🤣
My first script was...
A TWO PACK OF ASS!
A TWO PACK OF ASS!
November 9, 2025 at 9:36 PM
My first script was...
A TWO PACK OF ASS!
A TWO PACK OF ASS!
I read the very first script I ever wrote when I was 19 years old...
IT. WAS. HORRIBLE! OH, MY GOD! I CURSED SO MUCH! 🤣
IT. WAS. HORRIBLE! OH, MY GOD! I CURSED SO MUCH! 🤣
November 9, 2025 at 9:34 PM
I read the very first script I ever wrote when I was 19 years old...
IT. WAS. HORRIBLE! OH, MY GOD! I CURSED SO MUCH! 🤣
IT. WAS. HORRIBLE! OH, MY GOD! I CURSED SO MUCH! 🤣
Happy 4:20pm!
*Bong rip*
WOOOO!!!
*Bong rip*
WOOOO!!!
November 9, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Happy 4:20pm!
*Bong rip*
WOOOO!!!
*Bong rip*
WOOOO!!!
Yes, I'm the guy with the SAMCRO shirt on Twitter...
November 8, 2025 at 5:44 AM
Yes, I'm the guy with the SAMCRO shirt on Twitter...