Chris Jackson
@chriscjackson.bsky.social
Lawyer. Whiskey enthusiast.
📍 Houston
📍 Houston
Pinned
Anyways, fuck Ted Cruz.
SHORTER SCOTUS: yes we said you were criminally immune from all prosecution and almost akin to a King but you’re fucking with my money now
January 21, 2026 at 3:53 PM
SHORTER SCOTUS: yes we said you were criminally immune from all prosecution and almost akin to a King but you’re fucking with my money now
Getting dunked on like this by Samuel Alito when you’re arguing *for* the Trump Administration should result in immediate disbarment.
Alito off the top rope [IMO]: "Are the mortgage applications even in the record in this case?"
January 21, 2026 at 3:52 PM
Getting dunked on like this by Samuel Alito when you’re arguing *for* the Trump Administration should result in immediate disbarment.
Just checked my local screening of MELANIA this weekend and…that guy is definitely jerking off in the theater.
January 21, 2026 at 3:31 PM
Just checked my local screening of MELANIA this weekend and…that guy is definitely jerking off in the theater.
Reposted by Chris Jackson
"You're not ready for how much the rest of the world hates Americans" I live here man I'm extremely used to the concept of hating Americans
January 21, 2026 at 2:04 PM
"You're not ready for how much the rest of the world hates Americans" I live here man I'm extremely used to the concept of hating Americans
Remember how great the thirty minutes were when we thought he died
January 21, 2026 at 2:48 PM
Remember how great the thirty minutes were when we thought he died
Reposted by Chris Jackson
A lot of push alerts not heeding Bump’s wisdom at this hour
Attn news commentators: Trump saying he could use force to obtain Greenland but won’t is not Trump saying he won’t use force to obtain Greenland. It is Trump using force as a threat to obtain Greenland. That is why he mentions it.
January 21, 2026 at 2:29 PM
A lot of push alerts not heeding Bump’s wisdom at this hour
It’s even more embarrassing when Trump shows up on the national stage looking like he was just hit by a horse tranquilizer. Everyone looking at us like “THIS? You destroyed yourselves over this guy?”
January 21, 2026 at 1:52 PM
It’s even more embarrassing when Trump shows up on the national stage looking like he was just hit by a horse tranquilizer. Everyone looking at us like “THIS? You destroyed yourselves over this guy?”
Ted Cruz abandoning Texas before a freeze. You can set your watch to it.
Senator Ted Cruz (R-Texas) was spotted earlier today, January 20, 2026, on a plane heading to Laguna Beach as the state of Texas braces for a rare ice threat and arctic cold front.
January 21, 2026 at 1:23 PM
Ted Cruz abandoning Texas before a freeze. You can set your watch to it.
This must be that small government I’ve heard so much about
Mischief Toy Store in St. Paul has until Wednesday to turn over employment records to the Department of Homeland Security as part of a surprise audit launched Friday, just hours after one of the shop's owners criticized ICE agents during a television interview. bit.ly/4r5AFol
January 21, 2026 at 12:52 PM
This must be that small government I’ve heard so much about
Reposted by Chris Jackson
I want to emphasize that at this time the unconfirmed reports that President Trump has both arms stuck "elbow deep" in the airplane toilet are just that. We will be monitoring this story. Please be responsible about spreading news that both his arms are "as far as they can go" into the toilet hole.
January 21, 2026 at 4:07 AM
I want to emphasize that at this time the unconfirmed reports that President Trump has both arms stuck "elbow deep" in the airplane toilet are just that. We will be monitoring this story. Please be responsible about spreading news that both his arms are "as far as they can go" into the toilet hole.
when there’s “electrical problems”
January 21, 2026 at 4:20 AM
when there’s “electrical problems”
Don’t worry guys. It’s gonna Happen and when it does it’ll be glorious.
January 21, 2026 at 3:58 AM
Don’t worry guys. It’s gonna Happen and when it does it’ll be glorious.
Voters: we need affordable groceries and healthcare
Trump:
Trump:
January 21, 2026 at 3:31 AM
Voters: we need affordable groceries and healthcare
Trump:
Trump:
Reposted by Chris Jackson
10 years of this shit
January 20, 2026 at 10:44 PM
10 years of this shit
They tear-gassed a six-month-old infant until he stopped breathing last week.
Bovino lies shamelessly: "What we do is legal, ethical, and moral. Everything we do every day is legal, ethical, moral, well grounded in law."
January 20, 2026 at 9:10 PM
They tear-gassed a six-month-old infant until he stopped breathing last week.
Reposted by Chris Jackson
no greenlander ever called me a libtard
January 20, 2026 at 8:18 PM
no greenlander ever called me a libtard
It’s going to happen one day. It will happen. And that keeps me going.
January 20, 2026 at 8:13 PM
It’s going to happen one day. It will happen. And that keeps me going.
We elected the dumbest and worst person we’ve ever produced as a country President. Then we did it again.
January 20, 2026 at 7:59 PM
We elected the dumbest and worst person we’ve ever produced as a country President. Then we did it again.
“How can I make this woman’s murder about me”
Trump: "ICE is gonna be too rough with somebody. They're gonna make a mistake sometimes. I felt horribly when I was told the young woman had the tragedy. But when I learned her father is - I hope he still is, but I don't know - was a tremendous Trump fan. It's terrible. It's so sad. It just happens"
January 20, 2026 at 7:52 PM
“How can I make this woman’s murder about me”
Reposted by Chris Jackson
folks, this is some really weird shit. the president is not well.
January 20, 2026 at 7:01 PM
folks, this is some really weird shit. the president is not well.
Donald Trump has increased his wealth by $1.4B since becoming President and his spokespeople are saying you can live on $15 a day.
Brooke Rollins is still at it!
"We had run almost 1,000 simulations, and between $3 and $4 is a fair number if you can have access to that food. I just saw new numbers that were run: a full day, meaning 3 full square meals and a snack, is about $15.64."
"We had run almost 1,000 simulations, and between $3 and $4 is a fair number if you can have access to that food. I just saw new numbers that were run: a full day, meaning 3 full square meals and a snack, is about $15.64."
January 20, 2026 at 6:00 PM
Donald Trump has increased his wealth by $1.4B since becoming President and his spokespeople are saying you can live on $15 a day.
Greenland should rename itself after the Epstein Files so Trump loses all interest in it.
January 20, 2026 at 5:31 PM
Greenland should rename itself after the Epstein Files so Trump loses all interest in it.
In his wildest dreams Putin could have never imagined the return on investment he’d get from interfering with the 2016 election.
Trump amplifies post that says NATO — not China or Russia — is part of the “real threat” to America.
January 20, 2026 at 4:25 PM
In his wildest dreams Putin could have never imagined the return on investment he’d get from interfering with the 2016 election.
Reposted by Chris Jackson
Posting the words "Lord as my witness I am going to Make Heaven Crowded in Riverside, California on January 21" on social media and instantly the feds are at my door.
January 20, 2026 at 4:03 AM
Posting the words "Lord as my witness I am going to Make Heaven Crowded in Riverside, California on January 21" on social media and instantly the feds are at my door.
me explaining Current Events to a normie
January 20, 2026 at 3:16 AM
me explaining Current Events to a normie