Chip Chantry
@chipchantry.bsky.social
Comedian, writer, twenty-third President of the United States.
Seen on Netflix's TIRES.
Check out my new special, MOVE CLOSER, on Youtube.
https://youtu.be/_QKarKuuTdU?si=1cU6miLvUcs16w9-
Seen on Netflix's TIRES.
Check out my new special, MOVE CLOSER, on Youtube.
https://youtu.be/_QKarKuuTdU?si=1cU6miLvUcs16w9-
Pinned
Chip Chantry
@chipchantry.bsky.social
· Nov 15
Chip Chantry: Move Closer - Full Comedy Special
YouTube video by Chip Chantry
youtu.be
Hey Blue Sky. Consider taking a short break from reality this weekend, and watch my comedy special, MOVE CLOSER.
It's roughly 2 episodes of Mr. Belvedere long, and will hopefully give you just as many laughs.
youtu.be/_QKarKuuTdU?...
It's roughly 2 episodes of Mr. Belvedere long, and will hopefully give you just as many laughs.
youtu.be/_QKarKuuTdU?...
2025 ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
-Formed Harvey Danger tribute act
-Disbanded Harvey Danger tribute act
-"New Adventures of Old Christine" tattoo removed
-Declared legally dead thrice
-Fannypacked through Delaware
-Settled out of court w/ Harlem Globetrotters
-Avoided scromiting altogether
-Outlived Hulk Hogan
-Formed Harvey Danger tribute act
-Disbanded Harvey Danger tribute act
-"New Adventures of Old Christine" tattoo removed
-Declared legally dead thrice
-Fannypacked through Delaware
-Settled out of court w/ Harlem Globetrotters
-Avoided scromiting altogether
-Outlived Hulk Hogan
December 31, 2025 at 8:55 PM
2025 ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
-Formed Harvey Danger tribute act
-Disbanded Harvey Danger tribute act
-"New Adventures of Old Christine" tattoo removed
-Declared legally dead thrice
-Fannypacked through Delaware
-Settled out of court w/ Harlem Globetrotters
-Avoided scromiting altogether
-Outlived Hulk Hogan
-Formed Harvey Danger tribute act
-Disbanded Harvey Danger tribute act
-"New Adventures of Old Christine" tattoo removed
-Declared legally dead thrice
-Fannypacked through Delaware
-Settled out of court w/ Harlem Globetrotters
-Avoided scromiting altogether
-Outlived Hulk Hogan
I cried when I had no shoes, but stopped crying when I saw those videos of couples who constantly prank each other on Tik Tok.
December 30, 2025 at 10:34 PM
I cried when I had no shoes, but stopped crying when I saw those videos of couples who constantly prank each other on Tik Tok.
Reposted by Chip Chantry
I wish there was a Dabney B. Coleman like how there’s a Michael B. Jordan
December 29, 2025 at 4:47 PM
I wish there was a Dabney B. Coleman like how there’s a Michael B. Jordan
Gonna be honest: There are lot fewer Dabneys walking around than I hoped there would be.
December 29, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Gonna be honest: There are lot fewer Dabneys walking around than I hoped there would be.
THE BIRDS ARE PHONING IN THEIR WAY TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!
December 29, 2025 at 12:37 AM
THE BIRDS ARE PHONING IN THEIR WAY TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!
I hope I have time to accomplish both of my New Year’s resolutions: to get my awful neighbor to move out, and to learn to play the saxophone.
December 28, 2025 at 9:19 PM
I hope I have time to accomplish both of my New Year’s resolutions: to get my awful neighbor to move out, and to learn to play the saxophone.
Whenever I see an Emergen-C ad come up, I get excited for a second, and I just figured out why.
December 28, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Whenever I see an Emergen-C ad come up, I get excited for a second, and I just figured out why.
Watching all my favorite Christmas movies this week
December 27, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Watching all my favorite Christmas movies this week
This is basically how my Christmas went.
The Kelly Family –Fell In Love With An Alien (Official Video)
YouTube video by The Kelly Family
youtu.be
December 27, 2025 at 2:51 AM
This is basically how my Christmas went.
I love how show business people sometimes give secret signals to their loved ones, like when Carol Burnett would tug on her ear as a loving message to her grandmother, or when GG Allin would
December 26, 2025 at 3:31 PM
I love how show business people sometimes give secret signals to their loved ones, like when Carol Burnett would tug on her ear as a loving message to her grandmother, or when GG Allin would
When you see your parents this Christmas, please tell them that you love them.
Also, tell them to s”email me the last four digits of their Social Security number, so I can check an issue with their back accounts.
Also, tell them to s”email me the last four digits of their Social Security number, so I can check an issue with their back accounts.
December 25, 2025 at 10:32 PM
When you see your parents this Christmas, please tell them that you love them.
Also, tell them to s”email me the last four digits of their Social Security number, so I can check an issue with their back accounts.
Also, tell them to s”email me the last four digits of their Social Security number, so I can check an issue with their back accounts.
BESURETODRINKYOUREPSTEINFILES
December 25, 2025 at 2:03 PM
BESURETODRINKYOUREPSTEINFILES
Reposted by Chip Chantry
There's nothing in the rulebook that says a dog CAN'T be implicated in the Epstein files!
December 23, 2025 at 8:34 PM
There's nothing in the rulebook that says a dog CAN'T be implicated in the Epstein files!
Greatest gameshow episode ever.
youtu.be/G52GprHu8HQ?...
youtu.be/G52GprHu8HQ?...
Remote Control : Christmas episode
YouTube video by Game Shows
youtu.be
December 23, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Greatest gameshow episode ever.
youtu.be/G52GprHu8HQ?...
youtu.be/G52GprHu8HQ?...
2026 STAND UP DATES
Jan 14: Trump Kennedy Center
Jan 16-18 Trump's Chuckle Hut
Jan 23: Trump Laugh Lounge
Feb 2-4 Captain Nutsy's Trump Ha Ha Hut
Feb 9: Trump Jokerz Joint
Feb 15-16 Bonzo's Trump Joke Hole
Feb 23: Trump Snicker Shack and Hookah Lounge
Mar 5: The Confetti Bucket Trump Comedy Theatre
Jan 14: Trump Kennedy Center
Jan 16-18 Trump's Chuckle Hut
Jan 23: Trump Laugh Lounge
Feb 2-4 Captain Nutsy's Trump Ha Ha Hut
Feb 9: Trump Jokerz Joint
Feb 15-16 Bonzo's Trump Joke Hole
Feb 23: Trump Snicker Shack and Hookah Lounge
Mar 5: The Confetti Bucket Trump Comedy Theatre
December 23, 2025 at 2:29 PM
2026 STAND UP DATES
Jan 14: Trump Kennedy Center
Jan 16-18 Trump's Chuckle Hut
Jan 23: Trump Laugh Lounge
Feb 2-4 Captain Nutsy's Trump Ha Ha Hut
Feb 9: Trump Jokerz Joint
Feb 15-16 Bonzo's Trump Joke Hole
Feb 23: Trump Snicker Shack and Hookah Lounge
Mar 5: The Confetti Bucket Trump Comedy Theatre
Jan 14: Trump Kennedy Center
Jan 16-18 Trump's Chuckle Hut
Jan 23: Trump Laugh Lounge
Feb 2-4 Captain Nutsy's Trump Ha Ha Hut
Feb 9: Trump Jokerz Joint
Feb 15-16 Bonzo's Trump Joke Hole
Feb 23: Trump Snicker Shack and Hookah Lounge
Mar 5: The Confetti Bucket Trump Comedy Theatre
REPORTER: Sir, the city has a budget deficit of $12 million. Violent crime is skyrocketing, businesses are shuttering, there is mass corruption, and poverty is at an all-time high. What do you say to all of this?
MAYOR OF PARADISE CITY: Well, the girls are pretty. And the grass is REALLY green.
MAYOR OF PARADISE CITY: Well, the girls are pretty. And the grass is REALLY green.
December 23, 2025 at 2:18 PM
REPORTER: Sir, the city has a budget deficit of $12 million. Violent crime is skyrocketing, businesses are shuttering, there is mass corruption, and poverty is at an all-time high. What do you say to all of this?
MAYOR OF PARADISE CITY: Well, the girls are pretty. And the grass is REALLY green.
MAYOR OF PARADISE CITY: Well, the girls are pretty. And the grass is REALLY green.
I want Christmas to be the way it USED TO be. That’s why I went to the toy store tonight, punched an old lady and took her Cabbage Patch doll.
December 23, 2025 at 1:59 AM
I want Christmas to be the way it USED TO be. That’s why I went to the toy store tonight, punched an old lady and took her Cabbage Patch doll.
NO, INTERNET, I am NOT buying my wife a bird feeder with a camera inside of it. Please stop.
December 22, 2025 at 1:26 PM
NO, INTERNET, I am NOT buying my wife a bird feeder with a camera inside of it. Please stop.
Well, unless a miracle happens in the next two days, I'm financially ruined.
I don't want to point fingers, but "culture" today is dead.
I just can't BELIEVE that for Christmas this year, children do not want action figures from the 1986 hit NBC sitcom The Hogan Family.
I don't want to point fingers, but "culture" today is dead.
I just can't BELIEVE that for Christmas this year, children do not want action figures from the 1986 hit NBC sitcom The Hogan Family.
December 22, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Well, unless a miracle happens in the next two days, I'm financially ruined.
I don't want to point fingers, but "culture" today is dead.
I just can't BELIEVE that for Christmas this year, children do not want action figures from the 1986 hit NBC sitcom The Hogan Family.
I don't want to point fingers, but "culture" today is dead.
I just can't BELIEVE that for Christmas this year, children do not want action figures from the 1986 hit NBC sitcom The Hogan Family.
Oh, it's the SOLSTICE! THAT'S why I'm feeling so devilish today!
December 22, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Oh, it's the SOLSTICE! THAT'S why I'm feeling so devilish today!
If Donald Trump is not trustworthy and responsible, then WHY was he listed as Jeffrey Epstein’s emergency contact?
December 20, 2025 at 5:57 PM
If Donald Trump is not trustworthy and responsible, then WHY was he listed as Jeffrey Epstein’s emergency contact?
If I’m asked for my ID to get into a bar at all this month, I’m just going to show the bouncer how many times I’ve been sent the video of if “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” was performed by the band Cake.
December 20, 2025 at 5:25 PM
If I’m asked for my ID to get into a bar at all this month, I’m just going to show the bouncer how many times I’ve been sent the video of if “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” was performed by the band Cake.
Hey- did you guys hear about God and the sinners? Yeah- they reconciled!
December 20, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Hey- did you guys hear about God and the sinners? Yeah- they reconciled!
GAMESHOW PITCH:
STACHE FOR CASH: Photos are shown of men with handlebar mustaches, and contestants must guess if these men's political leanings are EXTREME RIGHT or EXTREME LEFT.
STACHE FOR CASH: Photos are shown of men with handlebar mustaches, and contestants must guess if these men's political leanings are EXTREME RIGHT or EXTREME LEFT.
December 20, 2025 at 3:44 AM
GAMESHOW PITCH:
STACHE FOR CASH: Photos are shown of men with handlebar mustaches, and contestants must guess if these men's political leanings are EXTREME RIGHT or EXTREME LEFT.
STACHE FOR CASH: Photos are shown of men with handlebar mustaches, and contestants must guess if these men's political leanings are EXTREME RIGHT or EXTREME LEFT.