Chip Chantry
@chipchantry.bsky.social
Comedian, writer, twenty-third President of the United States.
Seen on Netflix's TIRES.
Check out my new special, MOVE CLOSER, on Youtube.
https://youtu.be/_QKarKuuTdU?si=1cU6miLvUcs16w9-
Seen on Netflix's TIRES.
Check out my new special, MOVE CLOSER, on Youtube.
https://youtu.be/_QKarKuuTdU?si=1cU6miLvUcs16w9-
Pinned
Chip Chantry
@chipchantry.bsky.social
· Nov 15
Chip Chantry: Move Closer - Full Comedy Special
YouTube video by Chip Chantry
youtu.be
Hey Blue Sky. Consider taking a short break from reality this weekend, and watch my comedy special, MOVE CLOSER.
It's roughly 2 episodes of Mr. Belvedere long, and will hopefully give you just as many laughs.
youtu.be/_QKarKuuTdU?...
It's roughly 2 episodes of Mr. Belvedere long, and will hopefully give you just as many laughs.
youtu.be/_QKarKuuTdU?...
It's so cool that I might be able to get a 50-year mortgage sometime! My parents paid for their first house with the change they found in the seats of their VW Bus.
November 11, 2025 at 9:41 PM
It's so cool that I might be able to get a 50-year mortgage sometime! My parents paid for their first house with the change they found in the seats of their VW Bus.
This game isn't doing much to dispel the idea that "nothing ever happens in Wisconsin".
November 11, 2025 at 3:44 AM
This game isn't doing much to dispel the idea that "nothing ever happens in Wisconsin".
All throughout my childhood, my mother and father never spoke to each other. Family dinners were silent affairs where you could cut the tension with a knife. I feel awful saying this, but sometimes I wish my parents weren't Shields and Yarnell.
November 10, 2025 at 6:09 PM
All throughout my childhood, my mother and father never spoke to each other. Family dinners were silent affairs where you could cut the tension with a knife. I feel awful saying this, but sometimes I wish my parents weren't Shields and Yarnell.
POLL: What’s the second greatest song of all time after “There She Goes” by the La’s?
November 8, 2025 at 11:21 PM
POLL: What’s the second greatest song of all time after “There She Goes” by the La’s?
I saw Dick Cheney walking with the Queen
November 5, 2025 at 12:32 AM
I saw Dick Cheney walking with the Queen
Shit. Just chased a waterfall.
November 2, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Shit. Just chased a waterfall.
Okay, WE GET IT, baseball.
November 2, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Okay, WE GET IT, baseball.
My life goal is to someday live in a lighthouse.
But if that doesn't work, I'll settle for an old Pizza Hut.
But if that doesn't work, I'll settle for an old Pizza Hut.
October 28, 2025 at 11:36 PM
My life goal is to someday live in a lighthouse.
But if that doesn't work, I'll settle for an old Pizza Hut.
But if that doesn't work, I'll settle for an old Pizza Hut.
Writing a reboot called The Office 2035. It's just 21 minutes of security footage from a server farm in Taiwan.
October 28, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Writing a reboot called The Office 2035. It's just 21 minutes of security footage from a server farm in Taiwan.
Just jumped over eight girl dads on my dirt bike.
October 27, 2025 at 8:32 PM
Just jumped over eight girl dads on my dirt bike.
The Dark Knight < Dark Night of the Scarecrow
October 26, 2025 at 3:46 AM
The Dark Knight < Dark Night of the Scarecrow
Reposted by Chip Chantry
Hey fiends, if you need a fangtastic podcast to get you in the Halloween spirit this weekend, treat yourself to our latest episode.
What do you do when you run out of candy on Halloween? Chip and Jeff have the answers! They also tell you what costumes they'd pay to see on Halloween night.
www.junkmilesshow.com/talking-spoo...
www.junkmilesshow.com/talking-spoo...
October 25, 2025 at 1:51 PM
Hey fiends, if you need a fangtastic podcast to get you in the Halloween spirit this weekend, treat yourself to our latest episode.
Say what you will about the internet, but it clearly wants my beer belly gone in 14 days.
October 17, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Say what you will about the internet, but it clearly wants my beer belly gone in 14 days.
I love those little free libraries almost as much as I love those little boxes in front of people’s houses where you can take free mail.
October 16, 2025 at 1:16 PM
I love those little free libraries almost as much as I love those little boxes in front of people’s houses where you can take free mail.
Only two weeks until Halloween and my sexy crossing guard outfit is on backorder.
Guess I know what I'll be wearing to Thanksgiving.
Guess I know what I'll be wearing to Thanksgiving.
October 15, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Only two weeks until Halloween and my sexy crossing guard outfit is on backorder.
Guess I know what I'll be wearing to Thanksgiving.
Guess I know what I'll be wearing to Thanksgiving.
(Flashes pill bottle to beautiful woman at bar) Pretty sure I’m staying at your place tonight, so I brought my ACID REFLUX MEDICINE just in case.
October 15, 2025 at 5:39 PM
(Flashes pill bottle to beautiful woman at bar) Pretty sure I’m staying at your place tonight, so I brought my ACID REFLUX MEDICINE just in case.
Has anyone actually SEEN the chamber where they keep all the commerce?
I ask the hard hitting questions.
I ask the hard hitting questions.
October 15, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Has anyone actually SEEN the chamber where they keep all the commerce?
I ask the hard hitting questions.
I ask the hard hitting questions.
I have that real STAR quality (someday I’m gong to explode.)
October 15, 2025 at 1:10 AM
I have that real STAR quality (someday I’m gong to explode.)
Reposted by Chip Chantry
Maybe stop bitching about your own little problems for a second and help me find out where my wife hid the goddamn Halloween candy.
October 14, 2023 at 11:53 PM
Maybe stop bitching about your own little problems for a second and help me find out where my wife hid the goddamn Halloween candy.
My grandfather took every task he ever did seriously- from his first job at 7 years old, until the day he died in that pie fight.
October 15, 2025 at 12:29 AM
My grandfather took every task he ever did seriously- from his first job at 7 years old, until the day he died in that pie fight.
ME: Your honor, I plead GUILTY to being the handsomest man in this town!
JUDGE: You got arrested for shoplifting at a yard sale.
JUDGE: You got arrested for shoplifting at a yard sale.
October 14, 2025 at 10:32 PM
ME: Your honor, I plead GUILTY to being the handsomest man in this town!
JUDGE: You got arrested for shoplifting at a yard sale.
JUDGE: You got arrested for shoplifting at a yard sale.
I love how when we were kids watching cartoons, a visual punch line would often be something like “Oh hey, that wolf is horny!”
October 14, 2025 at 9:52 PM
I love how when we were kids watching cartoons, a visual punch line would often be something like “Oh hey, that wolf is horny!”
Someone trying to figure out the meaning of the kids' "6-7" is almost as sad and pointless as someone who is trying to figure out the meaning of- you know- life.
October 12, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Someone trying to figure out the meaning of the kids' "6-7" is almost as sad and pointless as someone who is trying to figure out the meaning of- you know- life.
Reposted by Chip Chantry
Uh Chip…they’re standing right behind you with the prize
October 10, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Uh Chip…they’re standing right behind you with the prize
It’s fucking bullshit that those assholes in Europe and all you dipshits didn’t award me the Nobel motherfuckin Peace Prize. Fuck all of you assclowns. EAT SHIT
October 10, 2025 at 1:01 PM
It’s fucking bullshit that those assholes in Europe and all you dipshits didn’t award me the Nobel motherfuckin Peace Prize. Fuck all of you assclowns. EAT SHIT