Charles Bernard
@charlesbernard.ca
I'm from Ottawa and I'm here to help.
Not sure which is worse: having to bring Twin A to a pharmacy in Gatineau for a strep test because Ontario sucks, or the knowledge that I'm gonna have to go back at least twice more next week.
November 20, 2025 at 11:53 PM
Not sure which is worse: having to bring Twin A to a pharmacy in Gatineau for a strep test because Ontario sucks, or the knowledge that I'm gonna have to go back at least twice more next week.
Adventures in potty training: baby pooped in the potty unprompted!
He then tried to dump it in the toilet, got overwhelmed by the stink, and barfed...on the floor next to the toilet.
He then slipped on the barf and left a shitty ass print on the floor.
But goddammit, a win's a win.
He then tried to dump it in the toilet, got overwhelmed by the stink, and barfed...on the floor next to the toilet.
He then slipped on the barf and left a shitty ass print on the floor.
But goddammit, a win's a win.
November 18, 2025 at 1:08 PM
Adventures in potty training: baby pooped in the potty unprompted!
He then tried to dump it in the toilet, got overwhelmed by the stink, and barfed...on the floor next to the toilet.
He then slipped on the barf and left a shitty ass print on the floor.
But goddammit, a win's a win.
He then tried to dump it in the toilet, got overwhelmed by the stink, and barfed...on the floor next to the toilet.
He then slipped on the barf and left a shitty ass print on the floor.
But goddammit, a win's a win.
Walk into the gym and they're blasting Limp Bizkit and Korn.
Then it hits me that the U17 class across the way weren't even born until well after these bands peaked...
Then it hits me that the U17 class across the way weren't even born until well after these bands peaked...
a close up of a man in a military uniform looking at the camera with a serious look on his face .
ALT: a close up of a man in a military uniform looking at the camera with a serious look on his face .
media.tenor.com
November 3, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Walk into the gym and they're blasting Limp Bizkit and Korn.
Then it hits me that the U17 class across the way weren't even born until well after these bands peaked...
Then it hits me that the U17 class across the way weren't even born until well after these bands peaked...
Actual footage of me commuting into Gatineau.
THEY. WERE. DOING. THIS. WITHOUT. PAY.
NOAA’s hurricane hunter pilots (and Kermit The Frog hanging from the control panel) fly into Hurricane Melissa.
Extraordinary bravery, saving lives.
(🎥 Cmdr. Danielle Varwig, NOAA Corps).
NOAA’s hurricane hunter pilots (and Kermit The Frog hanging from the control panel) fly into Hurricane Melissa.
Extraordinary bravery, saving lives.
(🎥 Cmdr. Danielle Varwig, NOAA Corps).
October 31, 2025 at 11:03 AM
Actual footage of me commuting into Gatineau.
...these things have got to be expired.
October 23, 2025 at 6:45 PM
...these things have got to be expired.
Hi. I'm in ~~Delaware~~ Labrador.
October 16, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Hi. I'm in ~~Delaware~~ Labrador.
"Whatcha doing dad?"
"Stuffing the turkey."
"Wow, the turkey sure has a big mouth!"
"... thaaaat's not the mouth kiddo."
"Stuffing the turkey."
"Wow, the turkey sure has a big mouth!"
"... thaaaat's not the mouth kiddo."
a man in a white shirt is sitting at a table with his hands folded and smiling .
ALT: a man in a white shirt is sitting at a table with his hands folded and smiling .
media.tenor.com
October 12, 2025 at 12:49 PM
"Whatcha doing dad?"
"Stuffing the turkey."
"Wow, the turkey sure has a big mouth!"
"... thaaaat's not the mouth kiddo."
"Stuffing the turkey."
"Wow, the turkey sure has a big mouth!"
"... thaaaat's not the mouth kiddo."
Twin B keeps saying New York Wankees, and I'm absolutely not correcting her.
October 4, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Twin B keeps saying New York Wankees, and I'm absolutely not correcting her.
For school Open House, Twin B's class each picked a word important to them, the teacher put them all on the board, and parents got to guess which was their kid.
Twin B's word: responsibility. "Because the class doesn't function unless everyone is responsible!"
...is my kid a narc?
Twin B's word: responsibility. "Because the class doesn't function unless everyone is responsible!"
...is my kid a narc?
September 26, 2025 at 2:25 PM
For school Open House, Twin B's class each picked a word important to them, the teacher put them all on the board, and parents got to guess which was their kid.
Twin B's word: responsibility. "Because the class doesn't function unless everyone is responsible!"
...is my kid a narc?
Twin B's word: responsibility. "Because the class doesn't function unless everyone is responsible!"
...is my kid a narc?
In celebration of Franco Ontarian Day, the school gave each kid a kazoo.
In related news, we're switching the kids to the English district, and I'm buying them memberships in the People's Alliance of NB.
In related news, we're switching the kids to the English district, and I'm buying them memberships in the People's Alliance of NB.
September 25, 2025 at 8:36 PM
In celebration of Franco Ontarian Day, the school gave each kid a kazoo.
In related news, we're switching the kids to the English district, and I'm buying them memberships in the People's Alliance of NB.
In related news, we're switching the kids to the English district, and I'm buying them memberships in the People's Alliance of NB.
What they don't tell you about these things is that they're basically a way to monetize parental stress eating.
So far we've eaten $18 worth of emotions.
So far we've eaten $18 worth of emotions.
September 22, 2025 at 11:13 PM
What they don't tell you about these things is that they're basically a way to monetize parental stress eating.
So far we've eaten $18 worth of emotions.
So far we've eaten $18 worth of emotions.
Had to shuck a package of Oreos to make dirt for Baby's construction-themed cake.
Used the guts to make a Vingituple-Stuff Oreo.
Follow me for more gastronomy tips.
Used the guts to make a Vingituple-Stuff Oreo.
Follow me for more gastronomy tips.
September 20, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Had to shuck a package of Oreos to make dirt for Baby's construction-themed cake.
Used the guts to make a Vingituple-Stuff Oreo.
Follow me for more gastronomy tips.
Used the guts to make a Vingituple-Stuff Oreo.
Follow me for more gastronomy tips.
I guess they called it Buick because that's the sound I made when I saw this Android Auto implementation.
I am once again begging car companies to hire just one single UX designer.
I am once again begging car companies to hire just one single UX designer.
September 16, 2025 at 1:28 AM
I guess they called it Buick because that's the sound I made when I saw this Android Auto implementation.
I am once again begging car companies to hire just one single UX designer.
I am once again begging car companies to hire just one single UX designer.
Baby: "I put my pasta on different plate."
Me: "Why, buddy?"
Baby, deadpan with hard eye contact: "It funny. It on different plate."
Help, my baby is the reincarnation of Norm MacDonald.
Me: "Why, buddy?"
Baby, deadpan with hard eye contact: "It funny. It on different plate."
Help, my baby is the reincarnation of Norm MacDonald.
September 13, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Baby: "I put my pasta on different plate."
Me: "Why, buddy?"
Baby, deadpan with hard eye contact: "It funny. It on different plate."
Help, my baby is the reincarnation of Norm MacDonald.
Me: "Why, buddy?"
Baby, deadpan with hard eye contact: "It funny. It on different plate."
Help, my baby is the reincarnation of Norm MacDonald.
Reposted by Charles Bernard
The only way you didn't go crazy from computer is if you know what really whips the llamas ass
Discovering computer as an adult makes you go crazy. Discovering computer as a baby makes you go crazy. In all of human history, there will only ever be one generation to discover computer at the correct age: 13
The problem with every post-Millennial generation is they got to go straight to high speed internet. Of course you'll get computer madness that way. Make them start with those old screeching modems and work their way up
September 13, 2025 at 12:34 AM
The only way you didn't go crazy from computer is if you know what really whips the llamas ass
I can get an airport beer at 5:30am, but gelato before 10 is socially unacceptable? C'mon United, do better.
September 12, 2025 at 9:44 AM
I can get an airport beer at 5:30am, but gelato before 10 is socially unacceptable? C'mon United, do better.
15 years ago I was in Orlando for a space shuttle launch that ended up postponed after a week of trying.
Today this Falcon 9 launched the day I left the Cape, after three days of delays.
...maybe it's me?
Today this Falcon 9 launched the day I left the Cape, after three days of delays.
...maybe it's me?
Liftoff of the SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket on the Nusantara Lima mission from Cape Canaveral Space Force Station at 9:56 p.m. EDT (0156 UTC). Watch continuing coverage: youtube.com/live/na_6zlo...
September 12, 2025 at 2:18 AM
15 years ago I was in Orlando for a space shuttle launch that ended up postponed after a week of trying.
Today this Falcon 9 launched the day I left the Cape, after three days of delays.
...maybe it's me?
Today this Falcon 9 launched the day I left the Cape, after three days of delays.
...maybe it's me?
Visited the last McDonald's in the world to serve pizza.
They also had pasta and Philly cheesesteaks for some reason?
They also had pasta and Philly cheesesteaks for some reason?
September 11, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Visited the last McDonald's in the world to serve pizza.
They also had pasta and Philly cheesesteaks for some reason?
They also had pasta and Philly cheesesteaks for some reason?
Me: "CrossFit is not a cult!"
The CrossFit gym near my hotel with suspiciously cheap drop-in rates: "We're secretly a church!"
The CrossFit gym near my hotel with suspiciously cheap drop-in rates: "We're secretly a church!"
September 8, 2025 at 12:50 PM
Me: "CrossFit is not a cult!"
The CrossFit gym near my hotel with suspiciously cheap drop-in rates: "We're secretly a church!"
The CrossFit gym near my hotel with suspiciously cheap drop-in rates: "We're secretly a church!"
Carp Hamfest.
(...also I bought a radio.)
(...also I bought a radio.)
September 6, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Carp Hamfest.
(...also I bought a radio.)
(...also I bought a radio.)
Dozens of peaches
Peaches for me
Peaches for me
September 1, 2025 at 6:04 PM
Dozens of peaches
Peaches for me
Peaches for me
Legitimately have muttered this to myself at least once weekly for the past...
*checks notes*
24 years?! That can't be right.
youtu.be/enY771qAmvk?...
*checks notes*
24 years?! That can't be right.
youtu.be/enY771qAmvk?...
August 30, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Legitimately have muttered this to myself at least once weekly for the past...
*checks notes*
24 years?! That can't be right.
youtu.be/enY771qAmvk?...
*checks notes*
24 years?! That can't be right.
youtu.be/enY771qAmvk?...
Even fighter pilots can't get away from Teams meetings.
Also, if I had access to an ejection seat during conference calls, I can guarantee I wouldn't last anywhere close to 50 minutes.
www.cnn.com/2025/08/27/u...
Also, if I had access to an ejection seat during conference calls, I can guarantee I wouldn't last anywhere close to 50 minutes.
www.cnn.com/2025/08/27/u...
F-35 pilot held 50-minute airborne conference call with engineers before fighter jet crashed in Alaska | CNN
A US Air Force F-35 pilot spent 50 minutes on an airborne conference call with Lockheed Martin engineers trying to solve a problem with his fighter jet before he ejected and the plane plunged to the g...
www.cnn.com
August 29, 2025 at 11:35 AM
Even fighter pilots can't get away from Teams meetings.
Also, if I had access to an ejection seat during conference calls, I can guarantee I wouldn't last anywhere close to 50 minutes.
www.cnn.com/2025/08/27/u...
Also, if I had access to an ejection seat during conference calls, I can guarantee I wouldn't last anywhere close to 50 minutes.
www.cnn.com/2025/08/27/u...
(Preface: everyone is fine now)
Protip: if your kid has an EpiPen, make sure you know exactly where that fucking thing is at any given time. Searching the front hall closet for the right diaper bag when shit's going sideways is not fun.
Protip: if your kid has an EpiPen, make sure you know exactly where that fucking thing is at any given time. Searching the front hall closet for the right diaper bag when shit's going sideways is not fun.
August 16, 2025 at 9:40 PM
(Preface: everyone is fine now)
Protip: if your kid has an EpiPen, make sure you know exactly where that fucking thing is at any given time. Searching the front hall closet for the right diaper bag when shit's going sideways is not fun.
Protip: if your kid has an EpiPen, make sure you know exactly where that fucking thing is at any given time. Searching the front hall closet for the right diaper bag when shit's going sideways is not fun.