Hassam Rizvi, the Boss
@cartomancing.bsky.social
What is this world? | Roleplay | #AGENCY | mdni
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What did you think all of this documentation has been for, Joel?
Hey, do we, like, get judged for our work here, or...?
September 8, 2025 at 11:34 PM
What did you think all of this documentation has been for, Joel?
Oh, would you look at that. A visitor.
September 8, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Oh, would you look at that. A visitor.
Ah, un instant, s'il vous plaît. It seems that you misunderstand me.
( His sunglasses glinted in the light, her face reflecting back at her. Hassam is always smiling a gambler's smile. )
I wish to speak to *the Big Bad Wolf*.
( His sunglasses glinted in the light, her face reflecting back at her. Hassam is always smiling a gambler's smile. )
I wish to speak to *the Big Bad Wolf*.
( her smile isn't just gone, it was never even there in the first place. )
oh. him.
fine. wait here.
oh. him.
fine. wait here.
I have an appointment with the Big Bad Wolf. I believe we spoke on the telephone?
August 27, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Ah, un instant, s'il vous plaît. It seems that you misunderstand me.
( His sunglasses glinted in the light, her face reflecting back at her. Hassam is always smiling a gambler's smile. )
I wish to speak to *the Big Bad Wolf*.
( His sunglasses glinted in the light, her face reflecting back at her. Hassam is always smiling a gambler's smile. )
I wish to speak to *the Big Bad Wolf*.
I have an appointment with the Big Bad Wolf. I believe we spoke on the telephone?
Well I hope I'm worth the wait, handsome. What can I do for you?
Ah, bonjour. You are not the receptionist, are you? I have been waiting here for quite some time to be served.
August 27, 2025 at 11:02 PM
I have an appointment with the Big Bad Wolf. I believe we spoke on the telephone?
Ah, bonjour. You are not the receptionist, are you? I have been waiting here for quite some time to be served.
who said that?
August 26, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Ah, bonjour. You are not the receptionist, are you? I have been waiting here for quite some time to be served.
How very astute.
Well, Daisy, it is a retirement plan with certain tax benefits. But I am boring you already!
Well, Daisy, it is a retirement plan with certain tax benefits. But I am boring you already!
Knowledge is totally its own pursuit, man.
And why are you asking?
August 25, 2025 at 11:16 PM
How very astute.
Well, Daisy, it is a retirement plan with certain tax benefits. But I am boring you already!
Well, Daisy, it is a retirement plan with certain tax benefits. But I am boring you already!
And why are you asking?
Hassam what's a 401k
August 25, 2025 at 10:57 PM
And why are you asking?
Surely by now you must realize that aliens are everywhere?
The United Kingdom has . . . ( He considers the term. ) An affinity for alien interactions, especially on a larger scale. There are... Persons of interest here.
The United Kingdom has . . . ( He considers the term. ) An affinity for alien interactions, especially on a larger scale. There are... Persons of interest here.
Has anything ever happened here? You-know-what wise? Like, I can't imagine ALIENS in England. That'd be stupid.
Don't worry, Daisy. We shall go into this... together. But be careful of the seagulls, they are wicked little things.
July 31, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Surely by now you must realize that aliens are everywhere?
The United Kingdom has . . . ( He considers the term. ) An affinity for alien interactions, especially on a larger scale. There are... Persons of interest here.
The United Kingdom has . . . ( He considers the term. ) An affinity for alien interactions, especially on a larger scale. There are... Persons of interest here.
Don't worry, Daisy. We shall go into this... together. But be careful of the seagulls, they are wicked little things.
Wow! Other cultures sure are scary to me.
They call them fish and chips here. Much thicker than your... American things, you see?
July 30, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Don't worry, Daisy. We shall go into this... together. But be careful of the seagulls, they are wicked little things.
They call them fish and chips here. Much thicker than your... American things, you see?
Fries?
July 30, 2025 at 12:24 AM
They call them fish and chips here. Much thicker than your... American things, you see?
Hm. ( A nod. )
Acceptable.
Acceptable.
The Hassam cow is in Stardew Valley.
Stardew Valley or Township?
July 30, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Hm. ( A nod. )
Acceptable.
Acceptable.
Stardew Valley or Township?
(For a second, he sits there. Staring with that intense stare of his. But eventually, he relents.) I enjoy technology. Taking things apart and putting them back together.
I also, on occasion, draw or play video games. There is a cow named after you on one of my virtual farms.
I also, on occasion, draw or play video games. There is a cow named after you on one of my virtual farms.
What are *your* hobbies?
July 18, 2025 at 1:03 AM
Stardew Valley or Township?
What are *your* hobbies?
Hobbies?
You cannot be serious.
You cannot be serious.
Do you know what the problem with these youth today is, mon ami?
You have no hobbies! I have always said, it is important to have the little trinkets and such, if it is not keeping from work.
You have no hobbies! I have always said, it is important to have the little trinkets and such, if it is not keeping from work.
July 18, 2025 at 12:18 AM
What are *your* hobbies?
Do you know what the problem with these youth today is, mon ami?
You have no hobbies! I have always said, it is important to have the little trinkets and such, if it is not keeping from work.
You have no hobbies! I have always said, it is important to have the little trinkets and such, if it is not keeping from work.
And then: I had the least pleasant hour of my life. Or was it longer than that? It felt like an eternity, I will tell you that.
And then?
July 17, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Do you know what the problem with these youth today is, mon ami?
You have no hobbies! I have always said, it is important to have the little trinkets and such, if it is not keeping from work.
You have no hobbies! I have always said, it is important to have the little trinkets and such, if it is not keeping from work.
And then?
July 17, 2025 at 10:41 PM
And then?
The children have been concerningly silent as of late.
I must admit, I am quite sold upon this... 'Caravan'. It is a little primitive, but there is no shame in enjoying something basic every so often, non?
July 16, 2025 at 9:29 PM
The children have been concerningly silent as of late.
I must admit, I am quite sold upon this... 'Caravan'. It is a little primitive, but there is no shame in enjoying something basic every so often, non?
July 16, 2025 at 9:24 PM
I must admit, I am quite sold upon this... 'Caravan'. It is a little primitive, but there is no shame in enjoying something basic every so often, non?
ⓘ This user has been permasupermegabanned for leaking state secrets
On my way to a [REDACTED] crash site yoooooo
June 21, 2025 at 6:20 PM
ⓘ This user has been permasupermegabanned for leaking state secrets
The food here is quite basic, but I'll admit it has a certain charm. Occasionally. I have heard and seen some apt chefs. I do enjoy the haute cuisine at the Ultra-Luxe, for instance. Now there is an attempt at restoration!
I have to eat, y'know? I can go a long time, but not forever.
Hey, *I'm* supposed to be the one asking the questions here!
Hey, *I'm* supposed to be the one asking the questions here!
Mm. And have you tried any of the food here?
June 2, 2025 at 5:00 PM
The food here is quite basic, but I'll admit it has a certain charm. Occasionally. I have heard and seen some apt chefs. I do enjoy the haute cuisine at the Ultra-Luxe, for instance. Now there is an attempt at restoration!
Mm. And have you tried any of the food here?
(Her shoulders are slowly relaxing. She doesn't look like she might bite him at any moment, so that's progress.)
The meaning of life is a little beyond me, but it might be good food.
The meaning of life is a little beyond me, but it might be good food.
I enjoy good food and drink. Culture is what life is all about, Valerie, no?
June 2, 2025 at 4:43 PM
Mm. And have you tried any of the food here?
I enjoy good food and drink. Culture is what life is all about, Valerie, no?
Yeah, I have the same problem when it comes to picking a favorite food.
So you're a wine guy? I can see that.
So you're a wine guy? I can see that.
I do not have a favourite meal because there are too many good ones, although I will always have a bottle of wine with my dinner. This is very important.
June 2, 2025 at 3:10 AM
I enjoy good food and drink. Culture is what life is all about, Valerie, no?
I do not have a favourite meal because there are too many good ones, although I will always have a bottle of wine with my dinner. This is very important.
(A sigh and a dramatic roll of her eyes. It's mostly playful.) Yeah. Yeah, it is.
Let me see. *Your* favorite color is... Purple, no?
June 2, 2025 at 2:23 AM
I do not have a favourite meal because there are too many good ones, although I will always have a bottle of wine with my dinner. This is very important.
Let me see. *Your* favorite color is... Purple, no?
Burgundy is a nice one.
Okay, next! Favorite food?
Okay, next! Favorite food?
Tem. Or perhaps burgundy.
June 2, 2025 at 2:14 AM
Let me see. *Your* favorite color is... Purple, no?
Tem. Or perhaps burgundy.
Well, I'm asking.
I would start with the apocalypse thing, but that feels heavy. So! Let's start small. What's your favorite color?
I would start with the apocalypse thing, but that feels heavy. So! Let's start small. What's your favorite color?
People, they do not ask - well, how can I tell if no one asks? Not even our good friend Giacomo. What do you wish to know?
June 2, 2025 at 2:02 AM
Tem. Or perhaps burgundy.
People, they do not ask - well, how can I tell if no one asks? Not even our good friend Giacomo. What do you wish to know?
C'mon, I'm sure there's *something* you could tell me.
It'd be easier to stop distrusting you if you weren't just a creepy stranger.
It'd be easier to stop distrusting you if you weren't just a creepy stranger.
There is nothing much to tell, Valerie.
June 2, 2025 at 1:50 AM
People, they do not ask - well, how can I tell if no one asks? Not even our good friend Giacomo. What do you wish to know?