Dan Carpenter
@carpenterdf.bsky.social
Official World Record Holder. Variously called a "local character", "nutjob" and "quiche eating terrorist sympathiser". The Jack Dee of dewatering
Oof those are brutal World Cup qualifying draws for Wales, Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland. Considering some of the teams they could have played they have been so unlucky
It's going to be Italy, Turkey and Denmark qualifying isn't it? The other pot could be anyone
It's going to be Italy, Turkey and Denmark qualifying isn't it? The other pot could be anyone
November 20, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Oof those are brutal World Cup qualifying draws for Wales, Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland. Considering some of the teams they could have played they have been so unlucky
It's going to be Italy, Turkey and Denmark qualifying isn't it? The other pot could be anyone
It's going to be Italy, Turkey and Denmark qualifying isn't it? The other pot could be anyone
.....did the first caller on @mrjamesob.bsky.social really just call the First World War a border squabble between France and Germany...?
November 20, 2025 at 10:24 AM
.....did the first caller on @mrjamesob.bsky.social really just call the First World War a border squabble between France and Germany...?
After all the unpleasantness of the political landscape at the moment this @mrjamesob.bsky.social chat on finding art, music etc again is wonderful. So joyous to hear people doing something they love. Definitely not crying. It's a cold wind ok?
Off to dust off my cornet again after work tonight
Off to dust off my cornet again after work tonight
November 18, 2025 at 12:45 PM
After all the unpleasantness of the political landscape at the moment this @mrjamesob.bsky.social chat on finding art, music etc again is wonderful. So joyous to hear people doing something they love. Definitely not crying. It's a cold wind ok?
Off to dust off my cornet again after work tonight
Off to dust off my cornet again after work tonight
I'm so glad @mrjamesob.bsky.social is talking about this immigration jewellery story. It's one of the most disgusting immigration stories I've heard from any credible party in recent times in the UK and the fact it's coming from labour is even worse.
It's just cruelty for cruelty sake
It's just cruelty for cruelty sake
November 17, 2025 at 11:16 AM
I'm so glad @mrjamesob.bsky.social is talking about this immigration jewellery story. It's one of the most disgusting immigration stories I've heard from any credible party in recent times in the UK and the fact it's coming from labour is even worse.
It's just cruelty for cruelty sake
It's just cruelty for cruelty sake
This Trump-BBC farrago just reminds of that Simpsons Halloween special where France nukes Springfield because something Mayor Quimby said.
I'm not saying Trump is going to nuke Broadcasting House obviously. Just that i'd make sure Claudia and David Attenborough know the way to the bomb shelter
I'm not saying Trump is going to nuke Broadcasting House obviously. Just that i'd make sure Claudia and David Attenborough know the way to the bomb shelter
November 11, 2025 at 9:55 AM
This Trump-BBC farrago just reminds of that Simpsons Halloween special where France nukes Springfield because something Mayor Quimby said.
I'm not saying Trump is going to nuke Broadcasting House obviously. Just that i'd make sure Claudia and David Attenborough know the way to the bomb shelter
I'm not saying Trump is going to nuke Broadcasting House obviously. Just that i'd make sure Claudia and David Attenborough know the way to the bomb shelter
Reposted by Dan Carpenter
Still possibly one of the greatest Armistice Day tweets of all time from the good old days on Twitter.
#inremembrance
#lestweforget
#cockdestroyer
#inremembrance
#lestweforget
#cockdestroyer
November 10, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Still possibly one of the greatest Armistice Day tweets of all time from the good old days on Twitter.
#inremembrance
#lestweforget
#cockdestroyer
#inremembrance
#lestweforget
#cockdestroyer
It's quite nice listening to a bit of fire in #PMQs from Lammy. Starmer is normally a pretty safe and steady performer but he's not the most passionate
November 5, 2025 at 12:08 PM
It's quite nice listening to a bit of fire in #PMQs from Lammy. Starmer is normally a pretty safe and steady performer but he's not the most passionate
Some people on social media are very strange. The amount of people who seem genuinely angry that I had a dream where both Harris in the US and Labour in the UK won an election on the same day is fucking unhinged. It was a dream you know!? I.e. not real!
October 21, 2025 at 8:08 AM
Some people on social media are very strange. The amount of people who seem genuinely angry that I had a dream where both Harris in the US and Labour in the UK won an election on the same day is fucking unhinged. It was a dream you know!? I.e. not real!
Dreamt last night we had simultaneous UK and USA general elections. Harris comfortably beat Trump and Labour won in the UK with Reform way back in third. It was very satisfying
October 21, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Dreamt last night we had simultaneous UK and USA general elections. Harris comfortably beat Trump and Labour won in the UK with Reform way back in third. It was very satisfying
I swear to god if @duolingoverde.bsky.social is down all day because of this outage and they reset all of our streaks then I'm going to come after that owl with the fury of a thousand suns
#duolingo
#duolingo
October 20, 2025 at 10:06 AM
I swear to god if @duolingoverde.bsky.social is down all day because of this outage and they reset all of our streaks then I'm going to come after that owl with the fury of a thousand suns
#duolingo
#duolingo
Reposted by Dan Carpenter
In Discworld, cities thrive because they welcome dwarfs, trolls, vampires, and humans alike. Ankh-Morpork works because everyone belongs. Funny how fiction can seem more humane than policy sometimes.
October 7, 2025 at 12:46 PM
In Discworld, cities thrive because they welcome dwarfs, trolls, vampires, and humans alike. Ankh-Morpork works because everyone belongs. Funny how fiction can seem more humane than policy sometimes.
Reposted by Dan Carpenter
Dad’s books are full of empathy, common sense, and a healthy suspicion of the powerful. But at its heart his work is also about how systems keep people poor while pretending it’s their own fault. So I hope Kemi’s taking notes as well as reading the jokes.
Kemi Badenoch claiming Terry Pratchett as her favourite author is wild
October 7, 2025 at 12:46 PM
Dad’s books are full of empathy, common sense, and a healthy suspicion of the powerful. But at its heart his work is also about how systems keep people poor while pretending it’s their own fault. So I hope Kemi’s taking notes as well as reading the jokes.
Reposted by Dan Carpenter
Whilst it is obviously awful for anyone to lose their jobs, I'm not sure this is quite the threat he thinks it is.
BBC News - Betfred says all its shops may close if Reeves hikes gambling tax
www.bbc.com/news/article...
BBC News - Betfred says all its shops may close if Reeves hikes gambling tax
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Betfred says all its shops may close if Reeves hikes gambling tax
The company's co-founder says it would be forced to close all its sites, putting 7,500 jobs at risk, if gambling taxes go up.
www.bbc.com
October 19, 2025 at 7:45 AM
Whilst it is obviously awful for anyone to lose their jobs, I'm not sure this is quite the threat he thinks it is.
BBC News - Betfred says all its shops may close if Reeves hikes gambling tax
www.bbc.com/news/article...
BBC News - Betfred says all its shops may close if Reeves hikes gambling tax
www.bbc.com/news/article...
I was very impressed with Daisy Cooper's questioning in parliament yesterday (hardly a surprise) but considering how angry and upset she has made some people she clearly did an even better job than I thought!
October 16, 2025 at 6:41 AM
I was very impressed with Daisy Cooper's questioning in parliament yesterday (hardly a surprise) but considering how angry and upset she has made some people she clearly did an even better job than I thought!
Wow. Just wow...
BBC News - Barnsley man in hospital after three-day cola bottles binge - BBC News
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
BBC News - Barnsley man in hospital after three-day cola bottles binge - BBC News
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Barnsley man in hospital after three-day cola bottles binge
Nathan Rimmington ate his way through 3kg of sweets - and doctors were shocked he survived.
www.bbc.co.uk
October 15, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Wow. Just wow...
BBC News - Barnsley man in hospital after three-day cola bottles binge - BBC News
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
BBC News - Barnsley man in hospital after three-day cola bottles binge - BBC News
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Fwiw my prediction for the Israel-Gaza peace deal - in a couple of days Netanyahu will announce either Hamas haven't returned all of the dead hostages or they were returned in such a bad condition the deal is off and he'll use it as an excuse to bomb Gaza further and worse
October 13, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Fwiw my prediction for the Israel-Gaza peace deal - in a couple of days Netanyahu will announce either Hamas haven't returned all of the dead hostages or they were returned in such a bad condition the deal is off and he'll use it as an excuse to bomb Gaza further and worse
That Netanyahu speech may have been one of the most deceptive, unhinged and repulsive speeches I've heard a major politician give.
In fact he had his tongue so far up Trumps arse I'm amazed you could hear a word he said
In fact he had his tongue so far up Trumps arse I'm amazed you could hear a word he said
October 13, 2025 at 11:14 AM
That Netanyahu speech may have been one of the most deceptive, unhinged and repulsive speeches I've heard a major politician give.
In fact he had his tongue so far up Trumps arse I'm amazed you could hear a word he said
In fact he had his tongue so far up Trumps arse I'm amazed you could hear a word he said
Ah yes, because what London so desperately needs is more of its historic buildings turned into wanky, unaffordable luxury hotels eh?
www.constructionenquirer.com/2025/09/10/l...
www.constructionenquirer.com/2025/09/10/l...
London Custom House luxury hotel plan gets go-ahead
Grade I listed historic landmark building to be restored
www.constructionenquirer.com
September 10, 2025 at 7:52 AM
Ah yes, because what London so desperately needs is more of its historic buildings turned into wanky, unaffordable luxury hotels eh?
www.constructionenquirer.com/2025/09/10/l...
www.constructionenquirer.com/2025/09/10/l...
Saw The Thursday Murder Club film last night. I think the hate it's getting is very unfair - it was a lovely film! Incredibly well cast and arguably better than the book as it's much more focused and has dropped some of the secondary storylines. Defo worth watching & a sequel
August 30, 2025 at 5:31 AM
Saw The Thursday Murder Club film last night. I think the hate it's getting is very unfair - it was a lovely film! Incredibly well cast and arguably better than the book as it's much more focused and has dropped some of the secondary storylines. Defo worth watching & a sequel
Im not saying that I have less than zero sympathy for the financial predicament of #WHSmith #TGJones or whatever the hell they are called now, but today they tried to charge me £3.39 for a standard bottle of diet coke at Watford Junction station...
Dick Turpin had less shame
Dick Turpin had less shame
August 18, 2025 at 6:20 PM
How sad. His books were wonderful
BBC News - Children's author Allan Ahlberg dies aged 87
www.bbc.com/news/article...
BBC News - Children's author Allan Ahlberg dies aged 87
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Allan Ahlberg, celebrated children's author, dies aged 87
He wrote more than 150 books, including The Jolly Postman and Each Peach Pear Plum.
www.bbc.com
July 31, 2025 at 8:16 PM
How sad. His books were wonderful
BBC News - Children's author Allan Ahlberg dies aged 87
www.bbc.com/news/article...
BBC News - Children's author Allan Ahlberg dies aged 87
www.bbc.com/news/article...
This is deeply depressing but also probably an inevitable development. For so many of us buying a programme is such an integral part of going to a match - it'll be so sad if this is the part of a trend
Watford announce the end of physical matchday programmes
share.google/DfkhpeYJ3aKm...
Watford announce the end of physical matchday programmes
share.google/DfkhpeYJ3aKm...
Watford announce the end of physical matchday programmes
The Hornets will instead focus on a digital offering ahead of each matchday, with A5 squad lists available for those who want a souvenir.
share.google
July 31, 2025 at 9:33 AM
This is deeply depressing but also probably an inevitable development. For so many of us buying a programme is such an integral part of going to a match - it'll be so sad if this is the part of a trend
Watford announce the end of physical matchday programmes
share.google/DfkhpeYJ3aKm...
Watford announce the end of physical matchday programmes
share.google/DfkhpeYJ3aKm...