Cara Michelle Smith
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caramichellesmith.bsky.social
Cara Michelle Smith
@caramichellesmith.bsky.social
senior writer at @salonnewsroom.bsky.social covering all things money & power ✍️ satire in the new yorker, the onion, mcsweeney's ✍️
It says a lot about one’s well-being under unregulated capitalism that there’s one group of people trying to extend their lives as long as humanely possible, and everybody else has adopted the phrase “wanna kms” as a known shorthand for daily stress
July 12, 2025 at 12:04 AM
we're here, it's happening, so let's make some sense of it. trump raised $200M for yesterday's inauguration. kind of an earth-shattering number. biden raised $60M, obama $40M, bush around the same.

surprised to learn who paved the way for trump's brazen soliciting?
www.salon.com/2025/01/18/n...
Nixon paved the way for Trump’s "new standard" of inaugural fundraising
Both share a brazen approach to financing the presidency, experts say.
www.salon.com
January 21, 2025 at 4:09 PM
until yesterday, i'd somewhat detoxed from Trump post-2017, completely forgetting how it feels to watch these people say and do insane shit every 45 seconds. this neverending anxiety really is just FAR too much for our brains, which were not built to process new existential attacks every minute.
January 21, 2025 at 4:01 PM
"pam bondi" isn't the nominee for attorney general. "pam bondi" is the character nicole kidman will portray in adam mckay's 2029 political flick "THE SWAMP;" kidman will receive her fifth oscar nomination for the role, but lose out against jojo siwa's riveting portrayal of, like, shirley chisolm.
January 15, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Reposted by Cara Michelle Smith
Hegseth couldn't get his story straight on abuse allegations. Were they false? Or were they incidents from a past that he's been redeemed from?

This contradiction doesn't bother MAGA for one reason: both are lies.

My analysis of yesterday's hearing.

www.salon.com/2025/01/15/y...
"You will have to change how you see women": Why Trump fears Hegseth accusers
Hegseth's excuses for his misogyny contradict each other, but MAGA doesn't care
www.salon.com
January 15, 2025 at 11:22 AM
Reposted by Cara Michelle Smith
So, let me get this straight--the call for more "masculine energy" in business is coming from a CEO whose own modal user is a 68-year-old grandma who posts inspirational memes and likes every single thing her friends post online.
January 14, 2025 at 1:43 PM
I've got the Hegseth hearings on in the background & just briefly tuned in to hear him saying, "I have failed at things in my life & thankfully I'm redeemed through my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." So now I'm going to tune into some less-stressful television. Maybe a livestreamed home birth?
January 14, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Reposted by Cara Michelle Smith
According to AccuWeather, early estimates of damage and economic losses total between $250 billion and $275 billion.
Los Angeles wildfires could be the costliest in history
Early estimates put the damage and economic losses between $250 billion and $275 billion.
www.salon.com
January 13, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Biden’s head being perfectly obscured by the teleprompter has me wondering whether his team put a big red X for him to stand on, in order for … y’know … his *decline* to be disguised 🫤
January 13, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Reposted by Cara Michelle Smith
I've watched MAGA's efforts to politicize the California fires with sick fascination because of how profoundly stupid they are.

Forget "post-truth." The right has fully entered its "post-coherence" era. They don't offer arguments, just gestures.

www.salon.com/2025/01/10/d...
California fires reveal MAGA is in its "total incoherence" era
Jesse Watters implied women are too stupid to run fire departments — most LA fire department leaders are men
www.salon.com
January 10, 2025 at 11:13 AM
this has a strong chance of being misinterpreted, but: if this devastation was going to happen to anybody, i have to pray that a meaningful change in our response to climate change can result from this apocalypse *acutely* impacting those with the biggest platforms + deepest pockets + most influence
January 10, 2025 at 8:50 PM
this is one of my all-time favorite newsletters; @lukevburns.bsky.social and @jamesfolta.com do such a wonderful job compiling the best humor writing out there, and spend a moment responding thoughtfully to each piece. sign up if you need more humor writing in your life (which, I promise, you do) ✨
January 10, 2025 at 7:56 PM
chatted with everybody's favorite election predictor, Allan Lichtman, about the staggering volume of corporate $$ flowing into Trump's inauguration. he didn't stutter: "Bribery is legal in the United States through political donations."

for @salonnewsroom.bsky.social:
www.salon.com/2025/01/09/c...
Corporate America is making Trump's inauguration the costliest ever
Businesses are paying big to tame Trump.
www.salon.com
January 9, 2025 at 10:31 PM
i need Justin Kuritzkes to urgently write a sequel to "CHALLENGERS," so Trent & Atticus can write the sequel's soundtrack, and then I'll have TWO albums that keep me locked into work like no stimulant ever could !!
January 9, 2025 at 7:58 PM
Larry Page bought an island, Mark Zuckerberg commissioned a huge statue of his wife, and Elon Musk snagged an Austin compound, where he'd like his 11 children & their mothers to dwell, pretty please.

Awwww! How billionaires spent their fortunes in 2024: www.salon.com/2024/12/20/p...
Politics, discos, private islands: Billionaires spent big in 2024
The collective wealth of the world's 10 richest people increased by 17%. Here's what they splurged on.
www.salon.com
December 20, 2024 at 5:07 PM
What this headline doesn't tell you: the scientist that discovered snakes have clitorises is the great-great grandson of the scientist who discovered how to milk cows ... and this is why we need women in STEM 😞
TLDR Science wrong, happy horny snakes
December 20, 2024 at 4:45 PM
Just published: I dug into the data on UnitedHealthcare's claim denials, rising premiums and profits, and the current state of Americans' medical debt. Fun (awful, bad) fact: nearly 1 in 5 Americans had medical debt sent to collectors in 2020 ‼️‼️

www.salon.com/2024/12/10/u...
UnitedHealthcare killing reignites criticism of insurance industry
As the nation's largest insurers report higher premiums and profits, customers rage.
www.salon.com
December 10, 2024 at 6:22 PM
hello bluesky! i'm a NY-based writer, currently at @salonnewsroom.bsky.social covering all things money, power and the ~almighty dollar~. i also write satire and short humor for places like @newyorker.com and @mcsweeneys.net. the objective: to have some damn fun on here!! let's be friends? 😈 👉👈
December 10, 2024 at 5:03 PM