Cabana Macabre
@cabanarama.bsky.social
(she/her) embalminatrix + baddie gesserit 💖
The kind of gal who makes you wish you spoke a little French.
The kind of gal who makes you wish you spoke a little French.
I just drove over an hour to a pathology lab to pick up a fetus, and on one of the doors inside the lab was a sign that said "privacy please, milking in progress."
I thought of him.
I thought of him.
August 14, 2025 at 4:29 PM
I just drove over an hour to a pathology lab to pick up a fetus, and on one of the doors inside the lab was a sign that said "privacy please, milking in progress."
I thought of him.
I thought of him.
children of the corn where the little girl is lookout and characters have to make a break for it and she waits until the coast is clear and then yells for them to go, like yelling "nobody's looking, nobody's looking!" And they have to book it across the street like bitch are you fucking kidding me
August 7, 2025 at 3:10 PM
children of the corn where the little girl is lookout and characters have to make a break for it and she waits until the coast is clear and then yells for them to go, like yelling "nobody's looking, nobody's looking!" And they have to book it across the street like bitch are you fucking kidding me
Reposted by Cabana Macabre
RFK Jr is the most open in expressing his desire to kill as many people as he can. You have to give him that.
August 6, 2025 at 12:05 AM
RFK Jr is the most open in expressing his desire to kill as many people as he can. You have to give him that.
This just reminded me of the time I handed a cup of my 12 year old pee to a grown man through the bars of my window, taking his 50 bucks and thinking "I'm going to be so rich when I grow up"
July 22, 2025 at 11:40 AM
This just reminded me of the time I handed a cup of my 12 year old pee to a grown man through the bars of my window, taking his 50 bucks and thinking "I'm going to be so rich when I grow up"
Reposted by Cabana Macabre
bro they're playing your leitmotif pizzicato. there's a slow clarinet lurking beneath it. you better not be about to betray me right now i swear to god bro
September 9, 2024 at 10:35 PM
bro they're playing your leitmotif pizzicato. there's a slow clarinet lurking beneath it. you better not be about to betray me right now i swear to god bro
Reposted by Cabana Macabre
i love the musical oklahoma specifically for the side plot where the short king is begging his gf not to cuck him and she’s like “idk bro that’s like a HUGE ask”
July 13, 2025 at 8:08 PM
i love the musical oklahoma specifically for the side plot where the short king is begging his gf not to cuck him and she’s like “idk bro that’s like a HUGE ask”
Bf: "Since I'm watching Twin Peaks for you, will you listen to this podcast I love that only has 50 episodes?"
Me: "How long are the episodes?"
Bf, lying: "About 90 minutes each?"
Me: "Well, I AM making you watch Twin Peaks."
Me: "How long are the episodes?"
Bf, lying: "About 90 minutes each?"
Me: "Well, I AM making you watch Twin Peaks."
July 3, 2025 at 10:32 AM
Bf: "Since I'm watching Twin Peaks for you, will you listen to this podcast I love that only has 50 episodes?"
Me: "How long are the episodes?"
Bf, lying: "About 90 minutes each?"
Me: "Well, I AM making you watch Twin Peaks."
Me: "How long are the episodes?"
Bf, lying: "About 90 minutes each?"
Me: "Well, I AM making you watch Twin Peaks."
Reposted by Cabana Macabre
we worked so hard on this, nights and weekends, trying our best to do a good job for the American people
BREAKING: A source tells me that the Trump administration has shut down public access to every single National Climate Assessment, the Congressionally-mandated quadrennial report assessing how climate change is affecting the U.S.
This is what you get when you try to access them online
This is what you get when you try to access them online
June 30, 2025 at 10:43 PM
we worked so hard on this, nights and weekends, trying our best to do a good job for the American people
Well I didn't like the new headphones I bought so I just raw dogged the treadmill uphill for an hour whispering all of the lyrics to the first act of Cats
June 28, 2025 at 3:33 PM
Well I didn't like the new headphones I bought so I just raw dogged the treadmill uphill for an hour whispering all of the lyrics to the first act of Cats
That's how I seduced my first college professor.
June 16, 2025 at 12:49 PM
That's how I seduced my first college professor.
I wore my Laura Palmer cameo necklace to work and someone was like "Oh is that your loved one? Is that someone you've lost?"
And I was like "I miss her every day."
And I was like "I miss her every day."
June 12, 2025 at 9:57 PM
I wore my Laura Palmer cameo necklace to work and someone was like "Oh is that your loved one? Is that someone you've lost?"
And I was like "I miss her every day."
And I was like "I miss her every day."
*setting up a body in the chapel*
Me: "Is he... *making the sign of the cross* You know?"
Work Partner: "A christian??"
Me: "Is he... *making the sign of the cross* You know?"
Work Partner: "A christian??"
June 7, 2025 at 3:55 PM
*setting up a body in the chapel*
Me: "Is he... *making the sign of the cross* You know?"
Work Partner: "A christian??"
Me: "Is he... *making the sign of the cross* You know?"
Work Partner: "A christian??"
The funeral equivalent of a Karen: Griefzilla.
She's here 5 hours early bitching about the fountain out front smelling like reclaimed water and chlorine... Babe it's a fountain.
Also she hates our carpets.
Chose this chapel but came early to say hates the carpets.
Ain't even 8am.
She's here 5 hours early bitching about the fountain out front smelling like reclaimed water and chlorine... Babe it's a fountain.
Also she hates our carpets.
Chose this chapel but came early to say hates the carpets.
Ain't even 8am.
June 6, 2025 at 11:54 AM
The funeral equivalent of a Karen: Griefzilla.
She's here 5 hours early bitching about the fountain out front smelling like reclaimed water and chlorine... Babe it's a fountain.
Also she hates our carpets.
Chose this chapel but came early to say hates the carpets.
Ain't even 8am.
She's here 5 hours early bitching about the fountain out front smelling like reclaimed water and chlorine... Babe it's a fountain.
Also she hates our carpets.
Chose this chapel but came early to say hates the carpets.
Ain't even 8am.
Reposted by Cabana Macabre
This could be us but you playin
May 28, 2025 at 1:59 PM
This could be us but you playin
Reposted by Cabana Macabre
Cum shipping container
Holds 33.2 cum
Holds 33.2 cum
May 28, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Cum shipping container
Holds 33.2 cum
Holds 33.2 cum
I love to make fun of people for watching ASMR videos but I also just watched elderly Patagonians brush lye into linens on river rocks for 30 minutes
May 27, 2025 at 9:18 PM
I love to make fun of people for watching ASMR videos but I also just watched elderly Patagonians brush lye into linens on river rocks for 30 minutes
“It feels good to know that if you’re here, you must be fine.”
🥹
🥹
May 26, 2025 at 4:19 AM
“It feels good to know that if you’re here, you must be fine.”
🥹
🥹
I've never seen Vampire in Brooklyn, but looking at the poster, I think it's the hottest Eddie Murphy has ever looked.
May 25, 2025 at 2:24 PM
I've never seen Vampire in Brooklyn, but looking at the poster, I think it's the hottest Eddie Murphy has ever looked.
Bought a new dress to wear to a friend's wedding next month.
She posts engagement photos. Same dress.
She posts engagement photos. Same dress.
May 24, 2025 at 12:10 PM
Bought a new dress to wear to a friend's wedding next month.
She posts engagement photos. Same dress.
She posts engagement photos. Same dress.
I'd never seen any of the Final Destination movies until last night, when I was persuaded to skip the first and start with the sequel.
Today the garbage disposal acted up and you better believe I was elbow deep in it, ranting about that damn movie the entire time.
"Help me step-death I'm stuck"
Today the garbage disposal acted up and you better believe I was elbow deep in it, ranting about that damn movie the entire time.
"Help me step-death I'm stuck"
May 17, 2025 at 10:09 PM
I'd never seen any of the Final Destination movies until last night, when I was persuaded to skip the first and start with the sequel.
Today the garbage disposal acted up and you better believe I was elbow deep in it, ranting about that damn movie the entire time.
"Help me step-death I'm stuck"
Today the garbage disposal acted up and you better believe I was elbow deep in it, ranting about that damn movie the entire time.
"Help me step-death I'm stuck"
Got really excited driving past the Five Below cause I thought the basketballs were pumpkins.
I am sad to report that it is not Halloween yet and my eyes are bad.
I am sad to report that it is not Halloween yet and my eyes are bad.
May 17, 2025 at 1:07 AM
Got really excited driving past the Five Below cause I thought the basketballs were pumpkins.
I am sad to report that it is not Halloween yet and my eyes are bad.
I am sad to report that it is not Halloween yet and my eyes are bad.
Interns (33M, 25F) have been blasting nu metal in the back of house for 2 days. On one hand I want to make fun of them, on the other, "Bring Me to Life" just came on and the first thing to pop out of my mouth was "did you know the chorus is exactly 23 seconds long"
May 16, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Interns (33M, 25F) have been blasting nu metal in the back of house for 2 days. On one hand I want to make fun of them, on the other, "Bring Me to Life" just came on and the first thing to pop out of my mouth was "did you know the chorus is exactly 23 seconds long"
Family member of the deceased who "belly danced in NYC for 40 years" swears it wasn't her who told my boss that I moonlight as a stripper. I said "jokes on whoever did it, the venn diagram of dancers and morticians is a circle. We call ourselves undertaker-offers."
Also: My boss already knows.
Also: My boss already knows.
May 14, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Family member of the deceased who "belly danced in NYC for 40 years" swears it wasn't her who told my boss that I moonlight as a stripper. I said "jokes on whoever did it, the venn diagram of dancers and morticians is a circle. We call ourselves undertaker-offers."
Also: My boss already knows.
Also: My boss already knows.