Cabana Macabre
@cabanarama.bsky.social
(she/her) embalminatrix + baddie gesserit 💖
The kind of gal who makes you wish you spoke a little French.
The kind of gal who makes you wish you spoke a little French.
This just reminded me of the time I handed a cup of my 12 year old pee to a grown man through the bars of my window, taking his 50 bucks and thinking "I'm going to be so rich when I grow up"
July 22, 2025 at 11:40 AM
This just reminded me of the time I handed a cup of my 12 year old pee to a grown man through the bars of my window, taking his 50 bucks and thinking "I'm going to be so rich when I grow up"
This could be us but you playin
May 28, 2025 at 1:59 PM
This could be us but you playin
Bought a new dress to wear to a friend's wedding next month.
She posts engagement photos. Same dress.
She posts engagement photos. Same dress.
May 24, 2025 at 12:10 PM
Bought a new dress to wear to a friend's wedding next month.
She posts engagement photos. Same dress.
She posts engagement photos. Same dress.
Interns (33M, 25F) have been blasting nu metal in the back of house for 2 days. On one hand I want to make fun of them, on the other, "Bring Me to Life" just came on and the first thing to pop out of my mouth was "did you know the chorus is exactly 23 seconds long"
May 16, 2025 at 3:02 PM
Interns (33M, 25F) have been blasting nu metal in the back of house for 2 days. On one hand I want to make fun of them, on the other, "Bring Me to Life" just came on and the first thing to pop out of my mouth was "did you know the chorus is exactly 23 seconds long"
Reading The Reformatory on a break in between embalmings, thinking about a particular Ralph Fiennes' death scene in Sunshine (not the Danny Boyle). I went to look it up and was reminded that he grips bisexual icon Rachel Weisz by the throat at some point so obviously I have to watch it again.
May 10, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Reading The Reformatory on a break in between embalmings, thinking about a particular Ralph Fiennes' death scene in Sunshine (not the Danny Boyle). I went to look it up and was reminded that he grips bisexual icon Rachel Weisz by the throat at some point so obviously I have to watch it again.
This week in a Florida funeral home: in the back of house there have been three mandatory breaks to watch Doechii's Alter Ego video in the past four hours, accompanied by coffee and mutual yearning to go gator shining with our hick friends 😩🤌
April 27, 2025 at 1:41 PM
This week in a Florida funeral home: in the back of house there have been three mandatory breaks to watch Doechii's Alter Ego video in the past four hours, accompanied by coffee and mutual yearning to go gator shining with our hick friends 😩🤌
The four horsemen of cleaning up fuckin bloodstains
Mufasa voice: They live in youuuuuu
Mufasa voice: They live in youuuuuu
April 26, 2025 at 1:27 PM
The four horsemen of cleaning up fuckin bloodstains
Mufasa voice: They live in youuuuuu
Mufasa voice: They live in youuuuuu
I am bustling around the kitchen making Easter supper and slave is chilling on the couch with his laptop. I just brought him a cup of coffee, not because I'm in service to him, but because in addition to being his Mistress, I'm a hostess and he's my guest.
April 20, 2025 at 2:29 PM
I am bustling around the kitchen making Easter supper and slave is chilling on the couch with his laptop. I just brought him a cup of coffee, not because I'm in service to him, but because in addition to being his Mistress, I'm a hostess and he's my guest.
What I'm saying: "And then the doctor has 72 hours to sign before we forward the document to the state-"
What I'm thinking: "Zoom zoom zoom make my heart go boom boom my super nova girl"
What I'm thinking: "Zoom zoom zoom make my heart go boom boom my super nova girl"
April 18, 2025 at 6:26 PM
What I'm saying: "And then the doctor has 72 hours to sign before we forward the document to the state-"
What I'm thinking: "Zoom zoom zoom make my heart go boom boom my super nova girl"
What I'm thinking: "Zoom zoom zoom make my heart go boom boom my super nova girl"
Favorite Houseboy is in town staying with me for the week, so we spent my day off yesterday reminding him how I like my house cleaned.
As I sunbathed by the pool, I received a panicked phone call from work cause my underlings aren't getting anything done without my boots on their backs.
As I sunbathed by the pool, I received a panicked phone call from work cause my underlings aren't getting anything done without my boots on their backs.
April 16, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Favorite Houseboy is in town staying with me for the week, so we spent my day off yesterday reminding him how I like my house cleaned.
As I sunbathed by the pool, I received a panicked phone call from work cause my underlings aren't getting anything done without my boots on their backs.
As I sunbathed by the pool, I received a panicked phone call from work cause my underlings aren't getting anything done without my boots on their backs.
April 12, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Sending him a gif of Rita Repulsa to let him know I'm ready to begin our video chat (goon session)
April 8, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Sending him a gif of Rita Repulsa to let him know I'm ready to begin our video chat (goon session)
There's a funeral director and embalmer we hired 3 months ago. He's been a huge help in the back, but he's quitting because he is not used to this kind of volume and he thinks it will break him if he stays. We respect his choice, but we like him so we're making a Chantilly cake to say goodbye.
April 8, 2025 at 2:43 AM
There's a funeral director and embalmer we hired 3 months ago. He's been a huge help in the back, but he's quitting because he is not used to this kind of volume and he thinks it will break him if he stays. We respect his choice, but we like him so we're making a Chantilly cake to say goodbye.
I just know Mother Firefly would have loved arguing on FB marketplace
March 27, 2025 at 2:04 PM
I just know Mother Firefly would have loved arguing on FB marketplace
I have enlisted two funeral directors to back me up in this lie 👄
March 19, 2025 at 1:42 PM
I have enlisted two funeral directors to back me up in this lie 👄
Urn company has decided to stop carrying a popular urn with a poppy motif, referring to it as a "triggering image of a heroin producer." 😅 Really?
Have y'all never met a veteran? Have y'all never sung "In Flanders Field?" Are you IN the funeral industry? Poppies are our bread and butter, man!
Have y'all never met a veteran? Have y'all never sung "In Flanders Field?" Are you IN the funeral industry? Poppies are our bread and butter, man!
March 13, 2025 at 1:03 PM
Urn company has decided to stop carrying a popular urn with a poppy motif, referring to it as a "triggering image of a heroin producer." 😅 Really?
Have y'all never met a veteran? Have y'all never sung "In Flanders Field?" Are you IN the funeral industry? Poppies are our bread and butter, man!
Have y'all never met a veteran? Have y'all never sung "In Flanders Field?" Are you IN the funeral industry? Poppies are our bread and butter, man!
Lucky me, every problem I've encountered with today's autopsies has been something I've been studying in the last few days. And there have been many.
What a way to make sure I never forget how to do something.
What a way to make sure I never forget how to do something.
March 6, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Lucky me, every problem I've encountered with today's autopsies has been something I've been studying in the last few days. And there have been many.
What a way to make sure I never forget how to do something.
What a way to make sure I never forget how to do something.
Space Ghost Coast to Coast was the first grown up show I was ever allowed to watch. Godspeed, George Lowe.
What a legend.
What a legend.
March 4, 2025 at 3:22 PM
Space Ghost Coast to Coast was the first grown up show I was ever allowed to watch. Godspeed, George Lowe.
What a legend.
What a legend.
Me every time I fall asleep with a textbook on my chest
March 4, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Me every time I fall asleep with a textbook on my chest
Went to a fancy family dinner last night, and one of the dishes (not mine) was garnished with a whole roasted head of garlic. I didn't want to look like a maniac so I kept my "you gonna eat that" to myself. I felt like this, occasionally stealing glances across the table.
February 28, 2025 at 12:35 AM
Went to a fancy family dinner last night, and one of the dishes (not mine) was garnished with a whole roasted head of garlic. I didn't want to look like a maniac so I kept my "you gonna eat that" to myself. I felt like this, occasionally stealing glances across the table.
Study slave had never heard the term "pallbearer" before, which led to me providing an abbreviated (but still like 30 minute) history of the WWF that nobody asked for.
February 26, 2025 at 6:19 AM
Study slave had never heard the term "pallbearer" before, which led to me providing an abbreviated (but still like 30 minute) history of the WWF that nobody asked for.
You've had your melatonin, and now you're explaining funeral pricing and trying not to slur cuz you forgot you were on call:
"That's why it's called 'direct,' it's... no funeral, only cremation."
"No funeral?!"
"Did you want one?"
"No."
"But what if we did?"
"That cost more 🥴"
"That's why it's called 'direct,' it's... no funeral, only cremation."
"No funeral?!"
"Did you want one?"
"No."
"But what if we did?"
"That cost more 🥴"
February 25, 2025 at 3:15 AM
You've had your melatonin, and now you're explaining funeral pricing and trying not to slur cuz you forgot you were on call:
"That's why it's called 'direct,' it's... no funeral, only cremation."
"No funeral?!"
"Did you want one?"
"No."
"But what if we did?"
"That cost more 🥴"
"That's why it's called 'direct,' it's... no funeral, only cremation."
"No funeral?!"
"Did you want one?"
"No."
"But what if we did?"
"That cost more 🥴"