Eldritch Garfield
@bryix.bsky.social
Shitty puns and beer.
Accepting only fresh brine.
Accepting only fresh brine.
[INT Scene: Death Bed]
Son: Dad, do you have any regrets?
Me: Yes. Yes, I do.
Son: Tell me. I must know.
Me: We never got the Pee Wee Herman/Ernest P. Worrell crossover that our society so obviously needed.
[gestures broadly]
Son: Yes, father. I understand.
Son: Dad, do you have any regrets?
Me: Yes. Yes, I do.
Son: Tell me. I must know.
Me: We never got the Pee Wee Herman/Ernest P. Worrell crossover that our society so obviously needed.
[gestures broadly]
Son: Yes, father. I understand.
May 24, 2025 at 12:27 AM
[INT Scene: Death Bed]
Son: Dad, do you have any regrets?
Me: Yes. Yes, I do.
Son: Tell me. I must know.
Me: We never got the Pee Wee Herman/Ernest P. Worrell crossover that our society so obviously needed.
[gestures broadly]
Son: Yes, father. I understand.
Son: Dad, do you have any regrets?
Me: Yes. Yes, I do.
Son: Tell me. I must know.
Me: We never got the Pee Wee Herman/Ernest P. Worrell crossover that our society so obviously needed.
[gestures broadly]
Son: Yes, father. I understand.
Matt, 54, Pennsylvania, white, mail service driver, fucking imbecile
April 29, 2025 at 2:41 PM
Matt, 54, Pennsylvania, white, mail service driver, fucking imbecile
Today is the final boss of Mondays.
March 10, 2025 at 12:15 PM
Today is the final boss of Mondays.
In a just world, we would have several more Karl Urban Dredd movies.
February 22, 2025 at 9:14 PM
In a just world, we would have several more Karl Urban Dredd movies.
Me after eating a banh mi: "Colonialism is bad, but..."
February 21, 2025 at 7:35 PM
Me after eating a banh mi: "Colonialism is bad, but..."
Glenn Danzig is basically a 1950's crooner in a different milieu. Cancel me, cowards.
February 8, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Glenn Danzig is basically a 1950's crooner in a different milieu. Cancel me, cowards.
Looking forward to politely declining after sitting through the requisite 45-minute presentation on the new Gaza timeshares in order to get premium drinks comped for a day at the all-inclusive resort.
February 6, 2025 at 12:13 AM
Looking forward to politely declining after sitting through the requisite 45-minute presentation on the new Gaza timeshares in order to get premium drinks comped for a day at the all-inclusive resort.
Stayed up late smoking a pork shoulder for today's brew day, which will be a 10-gallon batch of Munich Helles. It's going to be a long, exhausting day and I'm already beyond tired. Lol. I'm an idiot.
January 18, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Stayed up late smoking a pork shoulder for today's brew day, which will be a 10-gallon batch of Munich Helles. It's going to be a long, exhausting day and I'm already beyond tired. Lol. I'm an idiot.
Not this guy just blasting farts that smell like deviled ham.
January 14, 2025 at 11:47 PM
Not this guy just blasting farts that smell like deviled ham.
The stuffed green olive bar is one of the best things about modern grocery stores.
January 11, 2025 at 9:04 PM
The stuffed green olive bar is one of the best things about modern grocery stores.
Reposted by Eldritch Garfield
[Black Francis voice] Skattebooooo-ooooo-oooooo
January 1, 2025 at 8:14 PM
[Black Francis voice] Skattebooooo-ooooo-oooooo
[Black Francis voice] Skattebooooo-ooooo-oooooo
January 1, 2025 at 8:14 PM
[Black Francis voice] Skattebooooo-ooooo-oooooo
I'm simultaneously impressed and offended by how good Spotify is at making playlists for me.
January 1, 2025 at 3:12 AM
I'm simultaneously impressed and offended by how good Spotify is at making playlists for me.
It's either fireworks or the glorious revolution has finally come, my friends.
January 1, 2025 at 2:14 AM
It's either fireworks or the glorious revolution has finally come, my friends.
BAC is creeping up. Time to shitpost.
January 1, 2025 at 1:23 AM
BAC is creeping up. Time to shitpost.
I wish I loved anything as much as old southerners love telling people what Brazil nuts used to be called.
December 18, 2024 at 11:41 PM
I wish I loved anything as much as old southerners love telling people what Brazil nuts used to be called.
Reposted by Eldritch Garfield
COPS HATE THIS ONE TRICK: If you crank up "Little Girl" by Death From Above 1979, speed limits do not apply to you.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2jd...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2jd...
Death From Above 1979 - Little Girl
YouTube video by LastGangRadio
www.youtube.com
December 13, 2024 at 12:24 AM
COPS HATE THIS ONE TRICK: If you crank up "Little Girl" by Death From Above 1979, speed limits do not apply to you.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2jd...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2jd...
Hey baby, they call me "Ho-Ho the Mistletoe" 'cause I'm hung where you can see.
December 11, 2024 at 1:11 PM
Hey baby, they call me "Ho-Ho the Mistletoe" 'cause I'm hung where you can see.
Chalamet knew what he was talking about
December 7, 2024 at 9:56 PM
Chalamet knew what he was talking about
Homebrewed 9.32% Doppelbock is tasting mighty fine today.
December 7, 2024 at 6:45 PM
Homebrewed 9.32% Doppelbock is tasting mighty fine today.
The obnoxious imbecile picked us. That tracks.
December 7, 2024 at 5:06 PM
The obnoxious imbecile picked us. That tracks.
This is absolutely one of the best weekends of the year. Multiple days off, thanksgiving leftovers, and great football on the tv.
And, if you're lucky, great beer in the fridge and bourbon on the shelf.
And, if you're lucky, great beer in the fridge and bourbon on the shelf.
November 30, 2024 at 8:21 PM
This is absolutely one of the best weekends of the year. Multiple days off, thanksgiving leftovers, and great football on the tv.
And, if you're lucky, great beer in the fridge and bourbon on the shelf.
And, if you're lucky, great beer in the fridge and bourbon on the shelf.
Holiday beers. That's it. That's the post (skeet).
November 23, 2024 at 11:09 PM
Holiday beers. That's it. That's the post (skeet).