I think it's fun that we have to guess if the president is saying something because he's a liar, because his advisors are liars, or because of his dementia

I wish I could find one thing in life that would bring me as much joy as my dog gets from one cup of dry kibble twice per day.

My brother-in-law is in a cover band that plays 80’s/90’s classic rock staples (“Sweet Emotion,” “Summer of ‘69” etc.) and how they don’t end every gig with “Closing Time” is something I’ll never understand.

Kendrick Lamar beat Drake in a rap battle so thoroughly that Drake called the police.

I will never stop laughing about this!

Shout out to Abel, world record holder for being dead the longest

i encourage you all to be more like my son. take in the beauty of your everyday surroundings. smile. take a nap without worrying about how it might disrupt your day. and every two or three hours, shit your pants as hard as you possibly can