I bought Twitter for $44,000,000,000 and sold it back to myself for $33,000,000,000. I have 43 kids and no friends. Everything I make explodes

embracing the millennial urge to be the easiest customer in the store to balance out the boomers being difficult

So mentally checked out of the state of national and global affairs that I'm actually focusing on my research

It's crazy seeing a cybertruck in St. John's Newfoundland, the douchebag driver capital of Atlantic Canada. like wow you're the Michael Jordan of this shit

Goddamnit

Not to speculate, but if this was just some quirky idea that only he took seriously, I think by now his handlers would've told him to shut up about it. But clearly the real brains in his operation are encouraging him, which to me says... not good

Dipping your pen in company ink >>>>

This is Mister Winston. He is here to remind you that spring is just around the corner, and brighter days are ahead. 13/10 #SeniorPupSaturday

Making your way in the world today really does take everything you got, huh

I have accepted the position of Jos Louis czar. I look forward to serving my country 🫡

Pretending I have airpods on under my hat season is ending, openly ignoring people season is in bloom

keeping a tab open watching tesla stock and it might be the best mood enhancer i've ever experienced

On the rare occasions I've used it I asked it research questions I ready know the answer to, and boy is it unreliable. If you ask it to provide direct quotes from an author, it makes them up. It makes up authors and texts. Aside from my ethical disagreements with AI, I don't know why anyone bothers.

Don't just offer a service, communicate your value added. Did you know most tarot readers have not apprenticed with a magus

333 years ago today, the Salem witch trials began.

I'll never forget the kid who called McDonald's when I worked there and asked me if our ice cream machine was running and told me to catch it. A neoclassicist in his medium, using the ploy's familiarity against me

The real service to this demographic would be changing the whole section to Clitoral Location/Stimulation. One day