Reposted
Sorry I'm late. What I thought would be a quick trip to the bathroom became something much more sinister
February 3, 2026 at 6:02 PM
Sorry I'm late. What I thought would be a quick trip to the bathroom became something much more sinister
Bill Clinton starting to look like his face is taped onto his skull
February 3, 2026 at 2:05 PM
Bill Clinton starting to look like his face is taped onto his skull
The doctor pulls up an MRI of my brain.
"We had to magnify the image by a factor of 100 to see it in any detail"
"We had to magnify the image by a factor of 100 to see it in any detail"
February 3, 2026 at 1:49 AM
The doctor pulls up an MRI of my brain.
"We had to magnify the image by a factor of 100 to see it in any detail"
"We had to magnify the image by a factor of 100 to see it in any detail"
Sometimes I come home from work and rotate for a few hours before going to bed
February 3, 2026 at 12:00 AM
Sometimes I come home from work and rotate for a few hours before going to bed
If I can't call my wife dude she can't be my wife
February 3, 2026 at 12:00 AM
If I can't call my wife dude she can't be my wife
Reposted
Reposted
Frosty sunrise. -6°
February 2, 2026 at 9:33 PM
Frosty sunrise. -6°
Reposted
Giving a handshake so firm it degloves my boss
February 2, 2026 at 9:54 PM
Giving a handshake so firm it degloves my boss
For my birthday next week I would like to sit on a wall and have a great fall
February 2, 2026 at 11:43 PM
For my birthday next week I would like to sit on a wall and have a great fall
Cats sneezing is so funny. Like what are you allergic to, you?
February 2, 2026 at 11:36 PM
Cats sneezing is so funny. Like what are you allergic to, you?
I don't care how tall you are. I am taller
February 2, 2026 at 11:35 PM
I don't care how tall you are. I am taller
Reposted
I'm throwing batteries you can't understand into oceans you've never seen
February 2, 2026 at 10:54 PM
I'm throwing batteries you can't understand into oceans you've never seen
*I pick up a rainbow and throw it like a boomerang*
February 2, 2026 at 9:48 PM
*I pick up a rainbow and throw it like a boomerang*
Just pipe bomb things
February 2, 2026 at 2:11 AM
Just pipe bomb things
Reposted
Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly
February 1, 2026 at 3:40 PM
Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly
I hope that you think of me as a rival for limited resource pools
January 31, 2026 at 6:38 PM
I hope that you think of me as a rival for limited resource pools
"I like your hair like that" could either mean "I like your hair like that," or "fuck me through the floor" and it's just hard to tell sometimes
January 31, 2026 at 4:58 PM
"I like your hair like that" could either mean "I like your hair like that," or "fuck me through the floor" and it's just hard to tell sometimes
A day in the life of an urban lumberjack
January 27, 2026 at 1:28 AM
A day in the life of an urban lumberjack
I'm gonna rotate your nose 60° permanently
January 27, 2026 at 1:06 AM
I'm gonna rotate your nose 60° permanently
"that's not lunch" they say, looking at your plate of cheese.
But do not listen to them. They are jealous of your spirit.
But do not listen to them. They are jealous of your spirit.
January 24, 2026 at 11:47 PM
"that's not lunch" they say, looking at your plate of cheese.
But do not listen to them. They are jealous of your spirit.
But do not listen to them. They are jealous of your spirit.
*me as a thought living rent free in your head*
LET ME OUT
let me OOOOUUUTTTTT
I'M SCARED IN HERE
LET ME OUT
let me OOOOUUUTTTTT
I'M SCARED IN HERE
January 24, 2026 at 10:26 PM
*me as a thought living rent free in your head*
LET ME OUT
let me OOOOUUUTTTTT
I'M SCARED IN HERE
LET ME OUT
let me OOOOUUUTTTTT
I'M SCARED IN HERE
Reposted
If you're not Caramelldansen with me, you're Caramelldansen against me
January 23, 2026 at 7:50 PM
If you're not Caramelldansen with me, you're Caramelldansen against me
I love it when the sci-fi has an alien not-dog
January 20, 2026 at 4:02 PM
I love it when the sci-fi has an alien not-dog
Load me into a cannon and shoot me straight into the ground
January 20, 2026 at 2:01 PM
Load me into a cannon and shoot me straight into the ground
I think it's time. I'm finally susceptible enough for influencers to influence me. Time to scroll 😎
January 20, 2026 at 12:29 PM
I think it's time. I'm finally susceptible enough for influencers to influence me. Time to scroll 😎