Beeves, but over here
@beevesoftime.bsky.social
Yes the one from tiktok
Pinned
*slaps roof* yep I rebuilt this baby so now she runs on just pure feminine rage
*gazes somberly into window* she is very, very tired
*gazes somberly into window* she is very, very tired
Hoping 2026 is the year “slow life” trad girl influencers realize that the hurrying urge they’re resisting is capitalism
December 28, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Hoping 2026 is the year “slow life” trad girl influencers realize that the hurrying urge they’re resisting is capitalism
Listen I’m certainly not trying to defend capitalism, but I’m seeing a lot of “ugh we shouldn’t have to work in the winter I hate capitalism”
Babe if you’re a woman I have bad news… we’ve had to work very hard in the winter since long before capitalism
Babe if you’re a woman I have bad news… we’ve had to work very hard in the winter since long before capitalism
December 28, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Listen I’m certainly not trying to defend capitalism, but I’m seeing a lot of “ugh we shouldn’t have to work in the winter I hate capitalism”
Babe if you’re a woman I have bad news… we’ve had to work very hard in the winter since long before capitalism
Babe if you’re a woman I have bad news… we’ve had to work very hard in the winter since long before capitalism
If you’re at my bar and you don’t know what you want, and there’s a line behind you, I’ll give you up to 2 suggestions before I drop the smile and stare at you like I hate you (I do).
Babe you’re not marrying the drink. You’re not gonna remember this decision in an hour. Pick the thing on the left.
Babe you’re not marrying the drink. You’re not gonna remember this decision in an hour. Pick the thing on the left.
December 28, 2025 at 5:50 AM
If you’re at my bar and you don’t know what you want, and there’s a line behind you, I’ll give you up to 2 suggestions before I drop the smile and stare at you like I hate you (I do).
Babe you’re not marrying the drink. You’re not gonna remember this decision in an hour. Pick the thing on the left.
Babe you’re not marrying the drink. You’re not gonna remember this decision in an hour. Pick the thing on the left.
You give someone a practical gift two years in a row they’re gonna start expecting it — and that’s how you gettem
Get them a power bank and then a workwear jacket and then throw em off with a sentimental knickknack that does nothing but make them cry
Get them a power bank and then a workwear jacket and then throw em off with a sentimental knickknack that does nothing but make them cry
December 25, 2025 at 6:00 PM
You give someone a practical gift two years in a row they’re gonna start expecting it — and that’s how you gettem
Get them a power bank and then a workwear jacket and then throw em off with a sentimental knickknack that does nothing but make them cry
Get them a power bank and then a workwear jacket and then throw em off with a sentimental knickknack that does nothing but make them cry
Doomerism is so lazy
What do you mean your political philosophy is “I expect a new, better society to just naturally emerge from the ashes of the collapsing one while I sit and eat pop tarts”?
That is not how anything has ever been built cupcake
Read a book and then pick up a shovel
What do you mean your political philosophy is “I expect a new, better society to just naturally emerge from the ashes of the collapsing one while I sit and eat pop tarts”?
That is not how anything has ever been built cupcake
Read a book and then pick up a shovel
December 25, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Doomerism is so lazy
What do you mean your political philosophy is “I expect a new, better society to just naturally emerge from the ashes of the collapsing one while I sit and eat pop tarts”?
That is not how anything has ever been built cupcake
Read a book and then pick up a shovel
What do you mean your political philosophy is “I expect a new, better society to just naturally emerge from the ashes of the collapsing one while I sit and eat pop tarts”?
That is not how anything has ever been built cupcake
Read a book and then pick up a shovel
Rich kids genuinely don’t know the difference between a documentary and a vacation video
December 23, 2025 at 3:32 AM
Rich kids genuinely don’t know the difference between a documentary and a vacation video
Worker solidarity isn’t just holding picket lines. It’s acting like the treatment we all deserve is normal.
You want me to apply for a job without telling me the pay range? Lol. Weird. Bye.
Even if it IS normal — you are helping every worker after you by setting boundaries. Do that.
You want me to apply for a job without telling me the pay range? Lol. Weird. Bye.
Even if it IS normal — you are helping every worker after you by setting boundaries. Do that.
December 20, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Worker solidarity isn’t just holding picket lines. It’s acting like the treatment we all deserve is normal.
You want me to apply for a job without telling me the pay range? Lol. Weird. Bye.
Even if it IS normal — you are helping every worker after you by setting boundaries. Do that.
You want me to apply for a job without telling me the pay range? Lol. Weird. Bye.
Even if it IS normal — you are helping every worker after you by setting boundaries. Do that.
Filming your child or your partner for lolz while they’re actually mad at you is so abusive omg
December 20, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Filming your child or your partner for lolz while they’re actually mad at you is so abusive omg
Girls gays and theys’ fantasies: “I would like to have sex with Cthulhu”
Straight girls’ fantasies: “I am gradually realizing I’m gay as hell”
Straight men’s fantasies: “if it weren’t for these pesky laws I’d be out here assaulting all kinds of people just like they deserve”
Straight girls’ fantasies: “I am gradually realizing I’m gay as hell”
Straight men’s fantasies: “if it weren’t for these pesky laws I’d be out here assaulting all kinds of people just like they deserve”
December 18, 2025 at 5:22 AM
Girls gays and theys’ fantasies: “I would like to have sex with Cthulhu”
Straight girls’ fantasies: “I am gradually realizing I’m gay as hell”
Straight men’s fantasies: “if it weren’t for these pesky laws I’d be out here assaulting all kinds of people just like they deserve”
Straight girls’ fantasies: “I am gradually realizing I’m gay as hell”
Straight men’s fantasies: “if it weren’t for these pesky laws I’d be out here assaulting all kinds of people just like they deserve”
Honestly one of the great tragedies of our time is that we give kids “child safe” art supplies when they’re 3 (good thing) but then we don’t bother graduating them to proper supplies at a developmentally appropriate time
A conscientious 8 year old is more than capable of using oil paints safely
A conscientious 8 year old is more than capable of using oil paints safely
December 14, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Honestly one of the great tragedies of our time is that we give kids “child safe” art supplies when they’re 3 (good thing) but then we don’t bother graduating them to proper supplies at a developmentally appropriate time
A conscientious 8 year old is more than capable of using oil paints safely
A conscientious 8 year old is more than capable of using oil paints safely
Have you ever noticed there are no law classes in public school
Like there is no point where they sit you down and say “okay kids here is the list of things that are illegal to do”
You’re just supposed to kind of find out by word of mouth
Our legal system is folklore-based
Like there is no point where they sit you down and say “okay kids here is the list of things that are illegal to do”
You’re just supposed to kind of find out by word of mouth
Our legal system is folklore-based
December 14, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Have you ever noticed there are no law classes in public school
Like there is no point where they sit you down and say “okay kids here is the list of things that are illegal to do”
You’re just supposed to kind of find out by word of mouth
Our legal system is folklore-based
Like there is no point where they sit you down and say “okay kids here is the list of things that are illegal to do”
You’re just supposed to kind of find out by word of mouth
Our legal system is folklore-based
Okay God, how often should reptiles need to eat?
“Like every few weeks is fine.”
Okay and mammals?
“Maybe like once a day?”
Ok so then humans—
“Every four hours.”
… what?
“And if they don’t they get really aggressive.”
… uh
“And they’re wicked smart and they can eat literally anything.”
😳
“Like every few weeks is fine.”
Okay and mammals?
“Maybe like once a day?”
Ok so then humans—
“Every four hours.”
… what?
“And if they don’t they get really aggressive.”
… uh
“And they’re wicked smart and they can eat literally anything.”
😳
December 13, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Okay God, how often should reptiles need to eat?
“Like every few weeks is fine.”
Okay and mammals?
“Maybe like once a day?”
Ok so then humans—
“Every four hours.”
… what?
“And if they don’t they get really aggressive.”
… uh
“And they’re wicked smart and they can eat literally anything.”
😳
“Like every few weeks is fine.”
Okay and mammals?
“Maybe like once a day?”
Ok so then humans—
“Every four hours.”
… what?
“And if they don’t they get really aggressive.”
… uh
“And they’re wicked smart and they can eat literally anything.”
😳
It’s so embarrassing that there are female gynecologists who don’t know how to do a Pap smear without inflicting absolutely biblical pain
What do you mean you’re less gentle than the average DIVE BAR MAN?
Ma’am you have an MD in this and also you HAVE ONE OF THESE
What do you mean you’re less gentle than the average DIVE BAR MAN?
Ma’am you have an MD in this and also you HAVE ONE OF THESE
December 13, 2025 at 6:07 AM
It’s so embarrassing that there are female gynecologists who don’t know how to do a Pap smear without inflicting absolutely biblical pain
What do you mean you’re less gentle than the average DIVE BAR MAN?
Ma’am you have an MD in this and also you HAVE ONE OF THESE
What do you mean you’re less gentle than the average DIVE BAR MAN?
Ma’am you have an MD in this and also you HAVE ONE OF THESE
There are children who were conceived during the filming of the Lord of the Rings who are now 25 years old
December 12, 2025 at 5:15 PM
There are children who were conceived during the filming of the Lord of the Rings who are now 25 years old
Man sometimes I wish weed didn’t disagree with my constitution so much cause being high off my ass would make being sick way less shitty
December 12, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Man sometimes I wish weed didn’t disagree with my constitution so much cause being high off my ass would make being sick way less shitty
Clowns have never freaked me out but people who are really into clowns always do
December 12, 2025 at 1:30 AM
Clowns have never freaked me out but people who are really into clowns always do
I want a car wash for the inside of my sinuses
December 12, 2025 at 1:02 AM
I want a car wash for the inside of my sinuses
I always think I don’t need fun boss until I go from fun boss to no fun boss
December 12, 2025 at 12:17 AM
I always think I don’t need fun boss until I go from fun boss to no fun boss
Guys who play D&D: green flag
Guys who want to play D&D with their girl: green flag
Guys who’ve played D&D their whole lives but have never met a non-man who plays until they meet you: red the fuck flag
Guys who want to play D&D with their girl: green flag
Guys who’ve played D&D their whole lives but have never met a non-man who plays until they meet you: red the fuck flag
December 10, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Guys who play D&D: green flag
Guys who want to play D&D with their girl: green flag
Guys who’ve played D&D their whole lives but have never met a non-man who plays until they meet you: red the fuck flag
Guys who want to play D&D with their girl: green flag
Guys who’ve played D&D their whole lives but have never met a non-man who plays until they meet you: red the fuck flag
Music nerds are OP I’m sorry
Cause what do you mean your niche special interest comes with an awesome skill you can pull out that captivates a crowd and connects you directly with peoples souls AND you get to info dump about it
The rest of us only get the info dump part
Cause what do you mean your niche special interest comes with an awesome skill you can pull out that captivates a crowd and connects you directly with peoples souls AND you get to info dump about it
The rest of us only get the info dump part
December 8, 2025 at 5:48 AM
Music nerds are OP I’m sorry
Cause what do you mean your niche special interest comes with an awesome skill you can pull out that captivates a crowd and connects you directly with peoples souls AND you get to info dump about it
The rest of us only get the info dump part
Cause what do you mean your niche special interest comes with an awesome skill you can pull out that captivates a crowd and connects you directly with peoples souls AND you get to info dump about it
The rest of us only get the info dump part
Are you actually an introvert or do you just have very mediocre friends
December 7, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Are you actually an introvert or do you just have very mediocre friends
It really sucks to see a good friend go through a hard time - and it sucks worse when the hard time makes them a bad friend.
December 4, 2025 at 2:34 AM
It really sucks to see a good friend go through a hard time - and it sucks worse when the hard time makes them a bad friend.
Good friends expect to be called out by their friends.
If they can’t handle that they’re just activity buddies.
If they can’t handle that they’re just activity buddies.
December 3, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Good friends expect to be called out by their friends.
If they can’t handle that they’re just activity buddies.
If they can’t handle that they’re just activity buddies.
Love how the hottest women on earth are gay as hell
It’s truly god’s greatest prank on men and I love her for that
It’s truly god’s greatest prank on men and I love her for that
December 3, 2025 at 6:14 AM
Love how the hottest women on earth are gay as hell
It’s truly god’s greatest prank on men and I love her for that
It’s truly god’s greatest prank on men and I love her for that
Hey team just so we’re on the same page, it is in fact rude to let your friend regularly cook for the group and never offer to host, pitch, or even bring anything to the function.
This isn’t your mom’s house. This meal used $200 in groceries. You can’t expect one person to solo that once a month.
This isn’t your mom’s house. This meal used $200 in groceries. You can’t expect one person to solo that once a month.
December 3, 2025 at 1:09 AM
Hey team just so we’re on the same page, it is in fact rude to let your friend regularly cook for the group and never offer to host, pitch, or even bring anything to the function.
This isn’t your mom’s house. This meal used $200 in groceries. You can’t expect one person to solo that once a month.
This isn’t your mom’s house. This meal used $200 in groceries. You can’t expect one person to solo that once a month.