I am the cops
@asciim0v.bsky.social
Framce
Japam
Afghamistam
Micaragua
Spaim
Japam
Afghamistam
Micaragua
Spaim
Pinned
I am the cops
@asciim0v.bsky.social
· Jan 20
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With it looking clearer and clearer that the fascist oligarchy is trying to consolidate all social media beneath a swastika flag, I can think of only one bastion where we can be safe.
Being the token cishet white guy in any group rules. I can be like "who wants to know why the outcome of the superbowl is hilarious" and I get treated like an enigmatic specimen.
February 11, 2026 at 8:59 PM
Being the token cishet white guy in any group rules. I can be like "who wants to know why the outcome of the superbowl is hilarious" and I get treated like an enigmatic specimen.
When the fuck did i get three digit followers
February 11, 2026 at 7:40 PM
When the fuck did i get three digit followers
Stardew Valley, but it's a roguelite that resets by winter.
February 11, 2026 at 3:14 AM
Stardew Valley, but it's a roguelite that resets by winter.
Ancient roman wizard tweets be like: "Haru? Spicy!"
February 11, 2026 at 3:05 AM
Ancient roman wizard tweets be like: "Haru? Spicy!"
Every federal politician should have a pet journalist whose role is to just be a jester, and confront them constantly on everything they do. Boom, instantly fixed journalism and politics.
February 11, 2026 at 3:03 AM
Every federal politician should have a pet journalist whose role is to just be a jester, and confront them constantly on everything they do. Boom, instantly fixed journalism and politics.
You're hot - ❌
Since I've known you, I've studied several world religions in the hope at least one god will answer my prayers that I am allowed to continue perceiving you - ✅
Since I've known you, I've studied several world religions in the hope at least one god will answer my prayers that I am allowed to continue perceiving you - ✅
February 11, 2026 at 2:26 AM
You're hot - ❌
Since I've known you, I've studied several world religions in the hope at least one god will answer my prayers that I am allowed to continue perceiving you - ✅
Since I've known you, I've studied several world religions in the hope at least one god will answer my prayers that I am allowed to continue perceiving you - ✅
I want to smell of a dusty old wooden bridge over a rushing stream on a hot, semi arid, forested area; the air thick with sweet pine resin.
February 10, 2026 at 11:50 PM
I want to smell of a dusty old wooden bridge over a rushing stream on a hot, semi arid, forested area; the air thick with sweet pine resin.
My friends and I play a game called "No, That's Real" where we, without googling, list things that don't exist. Everyone else looks up to see if the thing exists. If you list something that someone can find within 5 minutes, you take a shot.
February 10, 2026 at 9:16 PM
My friends and I play a game called "No, That's Real" where we, without googling, list things that don't exist. Everyone else looks up to see if the thing exists. If you list something that someone can find within 5 minutes, you take a shot.
Guy who discovered he has vore fetish after playing ski free
February 8, 2026 at 3:45 AM
Guy who discovered he has vore fetish after playing ski free
I flirt like I'm asking what bunk you want
February 6, 2026 at 4:29 AM
I flirt like I'm asking what bunk you want
I am a lot funnier than the algorithm gives me credit for
February 6, 2026 at 3:49 AM
I am a lot funnier than the algorithm gives me credit for
Why do i have so many fun project ideas in my 30's, but no skills to implement them
February 6, 2026 at 1:06 AM
Why do i have so many fun project ideas in my 30's, but no skills to implement them
The year, 2029. Nuremberg 2 only a decade away. Vice President Jeffries is meeting with Speaker Schumer for jam session 84 on their sternly worded letter to president-in-exile Rubio. President Newsom executes a homeless trans person on live TV to bump Palantir stock. Criticism is domestic terrorism
February 5, 2026 at 5:43 AM
The year, 2029. Nuremberg 2 only a decade away. Vice President Jeffries is meeting with Speaker Schumer for jam session 84 on their sternly worded letter to president-in-exile Rubio. President Newsom executes a homeless trans person on live TV to bump Palantir stock. Criticism is domestic terrorism
Evangelicals declaring war against The New Deal for stifiling capitalism, when the New Deal was the only reason capitalism survived the great depression in the first place, should be studied for the rest of human history as what I'm told is called, a "whoopsie doodle."
February 4, 2026 at 8:17 PM
Evangelicals declaring war against The New Deal for stifiling capitalism, when the New Deal was the only reason capitalism survived the great depression in the first place, should be studied for the rest of human history as what I'm told is called, a "whoopsie doodle."
The Ballad of Tommy & Joey #funnysong
YouTube video by Carter Vail
youtube.com
February 4, 2026 at 5:07 PM
Lot of people saying "we're winning." This is my "they're like a week from the suspension clause, aren't they" moment.
This is unreal. An AUSA talking like that in open court is about as close as you can come to a total breakdown. Never heard of anything like it.
February 4, 2026 at 7:30 AM
Lot of people saying "we're winning." This is my "they're like a week from the suspension clause, aren't they" moment.
"We are a first responder and military friendly-" woke fascism just dropped.
February 4, 2026 at 1:47 AM
"We are a first responder and military friendly-" woke fascism just dropped.
Me and who
February 1, 2026 at 7:43 AM
Me and who
I wish I had someone to play WoW classic with while high.
January 30, 2026 at 2:33 AM
I wish I had someone to play WoW classic with while high.
Incredible
Alison Luchs, who has worked at the National Gallery of Art for 47 years, agreed to learn Gen Z slang and make videos because she wanted to raise interest in the museum’s art.
She never expected to slay. https://wapo.st/45BXc3S
She never expected to slay. https://wapo.st/45BXc3S
January 29, 2026 at 3:20 PM
Incredible
Need me a freak
Penis Lover
January 28, 2026 at 5:39 PM
Need me a freak
Reposted by I am the cops
This is the BEST explanation I have seen so far.
January 28, 2026 at 3:12 AM
This is the BEST explanation I have seen so far.
Its fucked up that it would cost me less to rent a whole ass car to get to an appointment rather than using a rideshare.
January 28, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Its fucked up that it would cost me less to rent a whole ass car to get to an appointment rather than using a rideshare.
Google AI out here subtly claiming immigrants aren't people.
January 27, 2026 at 6:44 PM
Google AI out here subtly claiming immigrants aren't people.
Bigotry is like smoking. Keep it to private areas where you know everyone is in on the joke, and don't do it around (man)children who think youre being sincere
January 27, 2026 at 6:39 PM
Bigotry is like smoking. Keep it to private areas where you know everyone is in on the joke, and don't do it around (man)children who think youre being sincere