andrewhibbard
@andrewhibbard.bsky.social
here to make fetch happen
There are 2 kinds of people in this world: People who say “Awesome sauce!” And people who I let into my life.
October 28, 2025 at 3:58 AM
There are 2 kinds of people in this world: People who say “Awesome sauce!” And people who I let into my life.
Jimmy Kimmel had weapons of mass destruction. It had to be done.
September 19, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Jimmy Kimmel had weapons of mass destruction. It had to be done.
My wife and I never had children. But we did just get a robot vacuum.
September 17, 2025 at 8:08 PM
My wife and I never had children. But we did just get a robot vacuum.
One of the nice thing about being in your 40s is the grocery store finally starts playing your jams
September 10, 2025 at 7:06 PM
One of the nice thing about being in your 40s is the grocery store finally starts playing your jams
This RFK Jr hearing is a tough watch with him breathing into the mic like a french bulldog
September 4, 2025 at 3:55 PM
This RFK Jr hearing is a tough watch with him breathing into the mic like a french bulldog
The only doctor allowed to provide care for Trump is RFK jr
August 30, 2025 at 6:00 AM
The only doctor allowed to provide care for Trump is RFK jr
If there are 50 locks on a door and only 49 are latched, my wife is terrified.
August 26, 2025 at 9:24 PM
If there are 50 locks on a door and only 49 are latched, my wife is terrified.
Good luck prosecuting Trump for any of this. He’s got an air tight Parody law defense.
August 11, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Good luck prosecuting Trump for any of this. He’s got an air tight Parody law defense.
What’s the German word for hilarious and depressing?
August 7, 2025 at 6:55 AM
What’s the German word for hilarious and depressing?
There comes a time when every romantic couple, having made it through all the ups and downs of the early years, evolves from partners to fartners #fartners
August 1, 2025 at 9:43 PM
There comes a time when every romantic couple, having made it through all the ups and downs of the early years, evolves from partners to fartners #fartners
Them South Park boys took 1.5 billy from Paramount and made them immediately regret it.
PSA - the new episode is v good
PSA - the new episode is v good
July 24, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Them South Park boys took 1.5 billy from Paramount and made them immediately regret it.
PSA - the new episode is v good
PSA - the new episode is v good
Wow. How easily these corporations fold under an authoritarian thumb
Holy shit. CBS is killing Colbert’s show. “This is a purely a financial decision,” says the network. Right.
July 17, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Wow. How easily these corporations fold under an authoritarian thumb
I’d like a personal AI modeled on Carl Sagan
July 14, 2025 at 11:55 PM
I’d like a personal AI modeled on Carl Sagan
The Epstein files are Trump’s Schrödinger's cat
July 13, 2025 at 10:31 PM
The Epstein files are Trump’s Schrödinger's cat
Same
Anytime someone says "Dan Bongino" my mental jukebox immediately spins up Nick Lutsko singing "I wanna be at the RNC"
youtube.com/shorts/09Nan...
youtube.com/shorts/09Nan...
I Wanna Be at the RNC
YouTube video by Nick Lutsko
youtube.com
July 13, 2025 at 10:28 PM
Same
Reposted by andrewhibbard
I’ve been having fun with friends on social media who have fallen for what is clearly ai content, but in like 5 minutes no one will be able to tell what’s real anymore
July 10, 2025 at 5:48 AM
I’ve been having fun with friends on social media who have fallen for what is clearly ai content, but in like 5 minutes no one will be able to tell what’s real anymore
I just put a Snickers on a plate before I ate it like some kind of 19th century 5th Ave dandy
July 3, 2025 at 5:53 AM
I just put a Snickers on a plate before I ate it like some kind of 19th century 5th Ave dandy
Trump was against crypto until someone explained to him that it was a grift
July 1, 2025 at 4:48 AM
Trump was against crypto until someone explained to him that it was a grift
Threw ‘em over his shoulder and hopped on the first cargo train headed west
June 25, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Threw ‘em over his shoulder and hopped on the first cargo train headed west
Most people understand the satisfaction derived from checking off tasks on your to-do list, but not enough attention is given to the deep fulfillment that comes from putting them off til tomorrow
June 23, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Most people understand the satisfaction derived from checking off tasks on your to-do list, but not enough attention is given to the deep fulfillment that comes from putting them off til tomorrow
People who say “3d chess” have never played chess. The total number of possible moves is on par with the total number of atoms in the observable Universe. No one is playing more than that. Just better or worse. “Chess” is enough.
June 13, 2025 at 7:27 PM
People who say “3d chess” have never played chess. The total number of possible moves is on par with the total number of atoms in the observable Universe. No one is playing more than that. Just better or worse. “Chess” is enough.
The only thing any Angeleno should say to the Marines that Trump is sending is “Sir, this is a Wendy’s.”
June 9, 2025 at 10:58 PM
The only thing any Angeleno should say to the Marines that Trump is sending is “Sir, this is a Wendy’s.”
I haven’t seen it yet, but I understand the show Nine Perfect Strangers is about what happens when 5 Balkis move in with 4 Larrys. Can’t wait!
June 9, 2025 at 10:50 PM
I haven’t seen it yet, but I understand the show Nine Perfect Strangers is about what happens when 5 Balkis move in with 4 Larrys. Can’t wait!
Since Wall St has nicknamed Trump TACO (Trump Always Chickens Out) I suppose this is now the Taco Bell
May 29, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Since Wall St has nicknamed Trump TACO (Trump Always Chickens Out) I suppose this is now the Taco Bell