Alex
@alex4nd3r.bsky.social
Here for the dry humour, the cynicism, and the occasional bit of smut.
Nerd. Scientist/Engineer. Dog Dad. 🏳️🌈 📍Chorley UK
Nerd. Scientist/Engineer. Dog Dad. 🏳️🌈 📍Chorley UK
When you plan on replacing the floorboards in your house, but previous owner used fuck off nails instead of screws, which means you can't get any of them up with ease.
I curse them and the fettid cunts they fell out of. Their mother should've fucking swallowed.
I curse them and the fettid cunts they fell out of. Their mother should've fucking swallowed.
a woman in a black dress is sitting at a table with wine glasses
ALT: a woman in a black dress is sitting at a table with wine glasses
media.tenor.com
February 18, 2026 at 4:07 PM
When you plan on replacing the floorboards in your house, but previous owner used fuck off nails instead of screws, which means you can't get any of them up with ease.
I curse them and the fettid cunts they fell out of. Their mother should've fucking swallowed.
I curse them and the fettid cunts they fell out of. Their mother should've fucking swallowed.
Get away with murder this one.
February 18, 2026 at 1:06 PM
Get away with murder this one.
Come on Euromillions. Just this once. 🙏
a woman wearing glasses and a suit is making a please sign .
ALT: a woman wearing glasses and a suit is making a please sign .
media.tenor.com
February 17, 2026 at 4:03 PM
Come on Euromillions. Just this once. 🙏
Happy Monday. Have some teefs! 💁🏼♀️
February 16, 2026 at 2:08 PM
Happy Monday. Have some teefs! 💁🏼♀️
Happy Saturday 🥶
Pirate name = Grey Beard 🏴☠️ 🥹
Pirate name = Grey Beard 🏴☠️ 🥹
February 14, 2026 at 8:21 AM
Happy Saturday 🥶
Pirate name = Grey Beard 🏴☠️ 🥹
Pirate name = Grey Beard 🏴☠️ 🥹
Out of office on! Pass me the fucking gin! 🧜
February 13, 2026 at 5:29 PM
Out of office on! Pass me the fucking gin! 🧜
Cute lil gift from the angels in HR. Love hearts are my crack cocaine. Today will be fun once the E-numbers kick in..
February 13, 2026 at 7:32 AM
Cute lil gift from the angels in HR. Love hearts are my crack cocaine. Today will be fun once the E-numbers kick in..
Ovaries before brovaries ❤️
February 13, 2026 at 6:52 AM
Ovaries before brovaries ❤️
Aw James 💔
a man in a blue shirt is making a funny face
ALT: a man in a blue shirt is making a funny face
media.tenor.com
February 11, 2026 at 7:59 PM
Aw James 💔
Little gift from a mate at work, suffice it to say it's fucking delicious and I may end up pissed before this food is even prepped.
February 10, 2026 at 6:47 PM
Little gift from a mate at work, suffice it to say it's fucking delicious and I may end up pissed before this food is even prepped.
Apparently asking for an autograph and a selfie because you 'loved them in the musical' is the perfect line of defence when approached by missionaries.
The confusion is sublime.
The confusion is sublime.
a man in a white shirt and tie is laughing while a woman stands behind him
ALT: a man in a white shirt and tie is laughing while a woman stands behind him
media.tenor.com
February 9, 2026 at 12:39 PM
Apparently asking for an autograph and a selfie because you 'loved them in the musical' is the perfect line of defence when approached by missionaries.
The confusion is sublime.
The confusion is sublime.
Today's reaction to people:
an older man with a beard is wearing a white tank top and making a funny face .
ALT: an older man with a beard is wearing a white tank top and making a funny face .
media.tenor.com
February 9, 2026 at 9:39 AM
Today's reaction to people:
New apprentices after asking them not to do their training using AI:
a penguin wearing a wizard hat sits at a desk with a computer and the words let chatgpt do it
ALT: a penguin wearing a wizard hat sits at a desk with a computer and the words let chatgpt do it
media.tenor.com
February 6, 2026 at 4:25 PM
New apprentices after asking them not to do their training using AI:
Just booped that bloody snoot!
February 6, 2026 at 3:29 PM
Just booped that bloody snoot!
Here's to another run around the sun. She old. 😏
a man in a suit and bow tie is sitting at a desk in front of a national geographic sign
ALT: a man in a suit and bow tie is sitting at a desk in front of a national geographic sign
media.tenor.com
February 3, 2026 at 6:54 AM
Here's to another run around the sun. She old. 😏
When the brains of the business retire and Monday morning is already a full on deluge of shite from the Laurel and Hardy of the company..
a woman says the lord is testing me while wearing a sweater with flowers on it
ALT: a woman says the lord is testing me while wearing a sweater with flowers on it
media.tenor.com
February 2, 2026 at 10:14 AM
When the brains of the business retire and Monday morning is already a full on deluge of shite from the Laurel and Hardy of the company..
It just fell in the trolley 🤷 whoops
February 1, 2026 at 1:51 PM
It just fell in the trolley 🤷 whoops
That hangover horn hitting real bad 😏
January 31, 2026 at 10:32 AM
That hangover horn hitting real bad 😏
💔 No words
a woman from schitt 's creek is smiling and saying `` when one of us shines ''
ALT: a woman from schitt 's creek is smiling and saying `` when one of us shines ''
media.tenor.com
January 30, 2026 at 7:06 PM
💔 No words
When the Otrivine burns like acid but you can smell from 3 towns over.
a woman in a baseball cap is saying oh god yes yes yes .
ALT: a woman in a baseball cap is saying oh god yes yes yes .
media.tenor.com
January 26, 2026 at 9:28 PM
When the Otrivine burns like acid but you can smell from 3 towns over.
Trying to nap to get over this cold. Doggo with other ideas:
a close up of a dog 's face with its mouth open .
ALT: a close up of a dog 's face with its mouth open .
media.tenor.com
January 25, 2026 at 7:38 PM
Trying to nap to get over this cold. Doggo with other ideas: